Holiday makers at it in hot tub...

[breakfastofchampions]

We have a couple of converted barns as holiday rentals. Before anyone starts, no we can't get residential permission on them and no we don't make much money at all especially now the business electricity is so high (and no we don't get help for that). Anyway, they have good sized gardens and are not too far from the sea so attract families with small children this time of year. They also have hot tubs. Last night was the first warm and sunny evening since last check in and guests in one cottage (two adults) were having sex very loudly in their hot tub at 9pm (along with loud music). I'm not sure if they thought they couldn't be heard because a hot tub is pretty loud if you are in it. Or maybe they just don't care but hot tub noise is NOT loud to surrounding gardens, fields and houses and we can quite often hear people's slightly raised conversations in them. There are not many buildings or traffic noises around to drown out noises. I shuffled our kids off to bed pretty sharpish. The guests know we live on site when they book and have heard our neighbours kids during the day because their garden is almost next to theirs and also sound travels really, really well here. Anyway this has given us the ick big time. They are here until the weekend. I want to say something to them so it doesn't put off other guests. OH does not think we should (he also wants to get rid of all hot tubs asap!) and has dragged himself to work as per usual so it's just me and the kids. WWYD?

@HoofWankingSpangleCunt I think my next name change will be jizzandfannybatter

Yeah hot tubs are grim. I agree with PP - change them for luxury roll top baths, much more classy shagging in one of those. Looks better for the 'Gram too.

Surely a sign saying "quiet sex only in hot tub" is all you need?

https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/sexual-health/improving-your-sexual-health/public-sex-environments#:~:text=The%20Sexual%20Offences%20Act%202003,public%20might%20see%20what's%20happening.

though I think as it’s private but if more than 2 people witness it….

thats a weird way of putting it. If I hear them leave (sound travels well here) I go over. If I’m not sure because I’ve been out then I knock on their front door and ask of o can do it. . They do know and if they are regular hot tub users they know it needs doing daily. The hot tubs are in private gardens so only the guests in that property can use them so it’s not like the communal ones you see sometimes.

Reviews

if loads of people mention hearing noise - there’s your clue

*We top up the chemicals during their stay (every day) but wait til they go out.

Do you tell the guests this before they book @breakfastofchampions ? What if they don't go out? Don't you think they might be a bit creeped out to know that the owner is watching them so they can sneak in while they're out?? I understand your reasons (and that you're trying to be considerate) but this would really unsettle me.*

@HundredMilesAnHour i wouldn’t use a hot tub where the owners weren’t doing this! Everywhere I’ve stayed with a hot tub has been clear that the water quality is checked daily and I’ve seen them doing so.

The last one we stayed in that had a hot tub (which we didn't use), the listing clearly said the hot tub chemicals were done daily, and when we arrived, the owner said she did it at 9.30 each morning, so we knew when she'd be there, and to her credit, her time-keeping was spot on - she appeared bang on time, did the chemicals and was away again, all within a few minutes. She came in through the back garden, so didn't need to enter the house, which was also good as she didn't bother us at all. We just kept the curtains closed over the patio doors until she'd gone so she couldn't peer in!

Re entering the house, I don't mind if the owner lets you know, but a couple of times we've been really annoyed when they've been in whilst we were out, without letting us know. Once was to put the recycling/rubbish out - the side gate could only be unlocked/opened from the garden, and they must have accessed through the house to get to the garden - they didn't give up (nor tell us where) the side gate keys were so we couldn't leave it open for them or put the bins out ourselves. (They didn't even tell us bin collection day). Another one was where there were several house plants in the property, and they'd clearly been in to water them as the plant stands had water in when we came back! Not good at all, and both got bad feedback/reviews for doing it!

Perhaps speak to one of them, maybe the woman as discreetly as possible. Or both if no choice. Emails or notices are a coward's way out.

Fake noises or applause not appropriate which would be the other option were no children anywhere near.

I would hate that too. I hate going in the house when we have guests and avoid doing so (even if they’ve left every single light on then gone out) but I had to once when they broke something. I asked them first and they were in thankfully-it just didn’t seem right to traipse the repair man in while they were out.

Ugh.. lose the tubs. They are only ever going to be used for sex.

The pearl clutching at sex in a hot tub has made me laugh.
Sex? In a hot tub? Shocker!

Exactly. Anyone calling them ‘chavvy sex ponds’ is telling us more about the people they mix with than they think! It seems to be a purely Mumsnet comment.

I don’t think I have ever been referred to as chavvy before! And I definitely wouldn’t have sex in a hot tub- it’s my job to monitor the chemicals and drain/clean ours regularly. I wouldn’t want that stuff in any delicate area!

YY to the decent wine and chilling, usually whilst counting shooting stars.

Yes exactly. How ‘grim’. Grim grim grim, the favourite word of the sexually repressed. FFS.

Using words like ‘jizz’ and ‘fanny batter’ is absolutely delightful however.

You wait until they are in the tub again, you pop round to one of the other guests and - standing within earshot of the sexy couple, you say loudly "I just wanted to apologise if you were distubred last night - they were having it off next door I think".

Then you hide until everyone has gone.

I think you need to hope they don't rebook and just keep quiet about it till they leave. .
It's inevitable to be honest

If i'm checking out of a property at 10/11 am and new guests are arriving 3ish ... there's no way a hot tub is going to be drained, cleaned, refilled and heated in time.

I once had an horrendous verucca on my big toe ... had it for years and nothing would shift it. Had a weekend in a lodge with a hot tub and it had disappeared by the following weekend ... must have been all those bodily fluids. I'd thoroughly recommend ... forget banana skins or bazuka.

Sell tickets. The neighbours will be pleased with an alternative to a night in front of the tv.
Charge extra if they want to join in.

Running a holiday cottage is exhausting there are two of us on changeover day and we don’t stop for a minute. Sometimes we have a cleaner too. Guests checknout at 10, we drain the tubs, hoover put the last bits, clean them then re-fil using half cold half hot water. By the time guest arrive the hot tubs are beautifully clean and usually up to the right temp, the gardens are beautiful and the insides are immaculate. We on the other hand are half dead!!! 🤣

Hoover up (with the water sucker)

🤣🤣 I love this! If only i had the nerve…

Of course we have had sex while on holiday but not in a hot tub. Nor on a table or sofa in a holiday let. That, to me, is pretty yuk. Our own sofa is fine but we treat other people's property with more respect than some seem to

Stick a note under the door

Ohhhhh you sex is on fire
But seriously, we your neighbours would prefer it if you would dial it down a bit.

People were talking about getting the gazette over, but I said just because it's loud doesn't mean it's good.

Anyhoo please use a condom in the pool

TTFN

Every lodge /chalet I've ever stayed in with a hot tub has been drained and cleaned on our last day. A staff member starts emptying it out while you are packing up the last of your stuff.

But they are high electricity users so I would get rid for that reason alone

I think I'd drop them a message with a 'friendly reminder' that outside noise carries in the countryside and to be mindful of noise from hot tubs disturbing other guests'.

If you're not specific they may think you've sent it to all guests.

If they have an ounce of shame, they'll realise they may have been heard and shag inside from now on!!