Are all MIL's awful?

[Notlookingforwardtochristmas]

I'm looking to hear positive reports on nice MILS.

Mine is a real nasty piece of work. A narcissist, shit stirrer within the family, a hypochondriac, a boaster that's selfish and just a general terrible human.

She treats my children different to the rest of the grandchildren yet boats to her friends that my children are her life, yet she rarely bothers with them. She's not met our youngest DC. She's met our oldest twice.

I thank my lucky stars everyday she lives abroad and I don't have to deal with her.

Does anyone have a nice one?

I thought I’d did but she was a two faced weasel really and I’ve realised since that they’ve hated any daughter in law figure whi has crossed their threshold.

what I really hate is meeting women who proudly boast that nobody will ever be good enough for their sons 🙄

such a load of shit. I always ask them how their own daughter in law experience has been. They don’t like it.

if anybody loves my boys like I love my husband, I will be over the moon.

Mines lovely.
However DHs family are fiercely loyal and anyone who hurts another member gets the collective wrath. So I know she won't be so nice if I hurt DH... but similarly DH knows he will be punished if he hurts me.

I make it sound like the Mafia... its honestly not! Just very strong morals.

(I found out recently that my DD1 is apparently FILs favourite grandchild. He is extremely careful not to show it and treats all of them fairly)

no - my mil, although we’re different personalities is an absolute star. With ds1 I was in hospital with a 3 day labour then kept in a further 48 hours after a haemorrhage. she stripped and remade all our beds. Did a small food shop and just had the house spotless for us getting home.
She pops over for Sunday lunch and tells dh and I to go out for an hours walk after eating to have some time alone together.

she’s great.

Of course not. Yours is just a person you don’t like, and wouldn’t choose to be around, but as you married her child, you’re forced into some form of semi-familial relationship, which is where the difficulties arise.

Wow, this is amazing! What a wonderful lady. I aim to be this when I'm older.

Mine is lovely. My SIL think my Mum is lovely. Not all MILs are a nightmare.

Yes, she died many years ago but she was perfectly nice and we got on well. She didn't interfere with our lives, she had her own life, plenty of friends so she wasn't at all 'needy' which is what you often see on her ... also we made no demands or assumptions on her regarding support, childcare etc

Mine is, and always has been OK. But I know she'd be vile if DH and I split, as she is about his brother's ex (and her grandchildren!!).

But now she has dementia, so that brings its own challenges.

Mine was lovely and absolutely great with the kids

Janina that's an interesting comment about your own DM's relationship with your DSIsterIL. My DM and DSIL have a tricky relationship... I can see both sides and it can be awkward to be trying to keep the peace and smooth things over occasionally. They are just very different people with different values and experiences of life .. neither is right or wrong but both can be stubborn .

'Are all mils awful?'

How would that happen? Women lose their social skills and ability to compromise etc when they give birth to boys?

Honestly im beginning to think MN dils are a peculiar breed

Mine is lovely. She's never been anything other than kind, welcoming and loving. She's wonderful to all her grandchildren.

My sister has a lovely MIL. I'm so envious! Mine is terrible. My mother's was terrible. I've only got on CIL so far but apparently they like me just fine. It's a SIL though, not a DIL.

My MIL has always been lovely. Helped look after our DS one day a week when we returned to work. Helped us buy our first house. Now we are in the position to be treating her to pay her back for all the lovely things she has done.

Mine is wonderful. She treats me like a daughter. She’s whip smart, funny and kind.

My DH’s MIL (i.e my Mam) is a walking nightmare. She’s evil incarnate.

I adored mine, and losing my relationship with her and my FIL was one of the hardest parts of getting divorced.

Mine died almost 10 years ago and I still miss her. She was a wonderful woman. Kind, wise, a wicked sense of humour and was such a patient and caring Grandma. I am still so sad that DC missed out by not having her in their lives for long and that their memories of her are vague (they're teenagers now).

Mind Is a nice lady - I don’t have much in common with her or respect her views but they are due to her age and upbringing so I respect her and out of respect for my dh I respect her more so

that said - I refused to live near them as I know they are quite judgy and I think it would have broken our marriage (they were hurt we didn’t live near them)

Of course not all MIL are awful. Mine is, but that is because she's awful to everyone. Her neighbours can't stand her as she has made their lives hell. She doesn't have any friends. She's never really bothered with DH. He was sent to boarding school at 11 and she never really engaged with him after that.

But I have friends with wonderful MIL. My DM is a fantastic MIL to DH.

Mine was a horrific bully, hypochondriac and bitch, who destroyed our wedding, every life event I had, and took joy in kicking me when I was down. She only behaved when nc was threatened by DH. Still took subtle swipes when DH out of earshot so I went nc.

Whereas my friend's MIL showers her with pots of money and gifts (house deposit, abroad holidays, surprise beauty treatments etc.), praises her to everyone, and does 50% of the childcare. Ironically friend treats her pretty poorly & complains about her incessantly.

So both MIL and DIL can be nice or horrible.

Mine is perfectly nice. Her and her dh very much have their own life and are distant. Always have been. Very little interest in our lives and the lives of their grandchildren but always pleasant.

My MIL passed away long before I met DH.

I think my SIL thinks my mum is a nightmare, we come from quite a close knit family where we saw our grandparents and cousins at least once a week and SIL's family all live quite far apart and meet up once or twice a year. I think she finds my mum a bit too enthusiastic and keen as she really wants to be involved in the kids live but my SIL doesn't really need her help as she is a SAHM

Mine is.
Mil has a DD who has spectacularly messed up her life and isn't a great mother and I think the fact that I have raised my dc, hold down a job and a home- whilst having a happy relationship with her darling son- makes her feel uncomfortable and she's always looking for failure in my life and a way to put me down. It's not my fault her own DD has issues.
She's also jealous over the relationship my mother has with our children. It's almost like she feels she should be the only grandparent. She goes physically green when she's popped around and my children are with my Mum on a day out.

Mine is lovely. Respects boundaries, can't do enough for us and we get on really well. I call her more than DH does! She was a godsend when the kids were tiny and really helpful with school runs etc. We don't let her help now because she's not well and it's too much for her (she's a bit annoyed by that) but has a lovely relationship with them.

I loved my MIL. She was more help to me than my own mother.