Are all MIL's awful?

[Notlookingforwardtochristmas]

I'm looking to hear positive reports on nice MILS.

Mine is a real nasty piece of work. A narcissist, shit stirrer within the family, a hypochondriac, a boaster that's selfish and just a general terrible human.

She treats my children different to the rest of the grandchildren yet boats to her friends that my children are her life, yet she rarely bothers with them. She's not met our youngest DC. She's met our oldest twice.

I thank my lucky stars everyday she lives abroad and I don't have to deal with her.

Does anyone have a nice one?

Course they aren’t. My ex husbands mum was a bit strange and I don’t think she liked me but she lived far enough away for it not to be an issue she loved my sons, she died at the end of last year and the boys are so upset. My ex partner mum is lovely same adores the boys all 4 and we are still in touch etc my boyfriends mum also lovely 🥰

i will be a mil for 4 sons wives/partners so hopefully I’m nice. It’s not something I’ve overly thought of. I guess you also have to make an effort for your children to get on with the person they love so x 4 I’ll be busy when I’m older

Mine is so so lovely, which is especially good of her because objectively I'm probably not the best DIL (I suppose I'm a bit grumpy and set in my ways).

There's nothing that she and FIL wouldn't do fir us in a practical sense.

For example, when we were moving into this house 5 years ago, I was having a busy week of work and couldn't take time off for the completion date. Dh had the day off, MIL came over and between them they packed all our stuff, moved it, and unpacked it by the time I got home after work! I'm a borderline hoarder and she cleared so much of my junk for me. I know no one else in the world except dh who'd be willing to do this!

In our old flat, we had an ugly front door and I used to whinge about its colour. When dh and I went for a weekend away, FIL drove over to ours secretly (4+ hour drive) with paints and tools and sanded it and repainted it a better colour! Took him two days because you have to wait for coats to dry. We got back from our weekend to a new front door!

They never comment on our parenting. They ask first before buying DD any big presents. They never pry into our relationship. They cook for us when we visit and bring food for our freezer when they visit. They live 4h away so never pop round unexpectedly.

They're textbook perfect ILs. They exist!

It's partly why I don't get people who say "I don't like it when MIL uses my kitchen" - MIL actually unpacked my kitchen lol everything is where she put it. I'd be living in a hoarder's purgatory if it wasn't for her.

I should tell her more often how wonderful she is

I owe my career to my mother in law, who provided free childcare until I could afford to pay for it. My children adore her. She does my ironing. And I do love her.

she‘a not actually a very easy person. Prone to strops. Things have to be on her terms. But knowing her family history I understand where a lot of this comes from. And I choose to overlook / forgive a lot of things because I know that no one is perfect.

I get on fine with mine now. It hasn’t always been easy, but after nearly 30 years we’re stuck with oneanother! It helps that we
have always lived a few hours from one another. She definitely became easier to be around when I had babies and I could see how much she adored them. And I have chilled out and become easier to live with too. I was a know it all 19yo when we met - I’ve now got my own 19yo and I can appreciate how irritating I must have been to her.

I’ve had two. Both arseholes (and so were FIL).

Current ones, I preserved for ten years until their racist remarks (I am not white), got too much and I made dh confront them. They of course denied.

Now I am the devil who won’t let them see their grandchildren, I’m evil personified.

The shit I put up with for a decade to keep the peace was unreal.

Yes. Because you experience your MIL like this this means every single mother of married sons in the whole world is an awful person.

Women who are both MIL and DIL are obviously both awful and wonderful in equal measure.

Mine's alright. We're very different people and would probably never have anything to do with each other if it wasn't for DH, but we rub along fine.

Mine was an absolute walking sunshine of a woman. The epitome of the mother hen, very patient and very loving. Always put everyone else before herself.

Then cancer took her away from us at barely scraping 60. It is soul destroying that she gave so much to the world but never got the time to relax for herself.

Mine was horrible...my Son-in-Law's is wonderful.

My ex mil was amazing I honestly loved her.
My now mil isn't my cup of tea but we get on OK.

Same here

No they're not. But not all dils are saintly and truthful either!

Mine was vile. I wish I'd had the foresight not to marry a man whose mother I didn't get on with. I thought it wouldn't matter but I was very naive.

Mine used to really dislike me, I'm sure. She was quite bitchy to me and they held an intervention with DH when we were first together telling him he could do better.
I think it was a combination of taking her baby boy away and menopause.
And my family being poor and scummy.
But years later I think I'm her favourite of all her kids partners.

Do you have DIL issues?

I loved my Ex-MIL to bits.

Current one is kind but we have little in common, and I don’t like visiting them.

I am a mother in law of 2 DILs. I have always got on fine with them, help out with childcare, never get involved in any marital disagreements, and have a very close bond with my 2 grandchildren. It's honestly not that difficult to do!!

Mine is similar to yours unfortunately but it's not a MIL issue she does it with her daughter too! She's not trusted to take any of her grandchildren on her own anymore as she refuses to follow instructions given and I'm talking using car seats, refusing to cut grapes for a under 2 and leaving them in dirty nappies not please don't put the TV on for too much! She likes to brag to her friends about her grandchildren but wouldn't play with them etc.

My friends MIL is absolutely amazing, salt of the earth and really calm in any situation.

My mum is the polar opposite of my MIL and plays with them, wants written instructions of timings etc infant she has also looked after my SIL children when needed (DH sisters children).

Mine is lovely.

Not mil but step mum. When i had to start caring for my dad, i had to make sure MIL (hid long term partner actually) got the elbow!

If only i did that 20 years ago! It was tyranny.

Mine is lovely!!! She really is.

Couldn't do enough to help us, never interferes and we enjoy each others company. I feel very lucky!

Mine is ok. We have never been close geographically and she's not a demonstrative person but she once commented that I had done a good job with the children which was high praise Sadly she now has dementia and no longer recognises me.

I'm a fabulous MIL myself ! Joking, but my dd and son in law live close and drops the toddler off to me before work and on his days (we all juggle the child care) he will often just come round for a chat and company if I'm not working so I guess I must be ok. He also raids the food cupboard like he's one of mine!

My DIL lived with us for two years, I love her like she was my own and she knows that and we are very comfortable with each other. I think we are lucky we all get on so well. I don't interfere with their lives but am there when needed. I occasionally nag my son in law as he's lovely but lazy !

Mine is incredible. She is part of the reason I married my DH. She's well read, cosmopolitan, outward looking, honest and genuinely understands me. I'm closer to her than to my own DM.