Need to put 11 year old dson a diet 😪

[DyslexicPoster]

Getting him some new uniform for secondary in September. He is slightly tall for his age but not overly. I bought him plus fit 12-13 school trousers and they bearly do up. Clearly he is quite overweight.

He has always been a chunk and my biggest baby. He gas ASD and very much over eats.

How do I tackle putting a very young child on a diet? He has LD but he does understand that he needs to loose weight. He is quite active. Swims, karate, Beavers etc.

All his siblings are skeletal. They can eat whatever they like and are very thin. We don't have crisps or chocolate or snacks these are very much treats that are rare so less than once a week.

How do I work out how many calories he should be eating? I'm need to weight him but need to get new scale batteries.

I can't believe I gave let him get from a bit on the chunky side to not fitting into age appropriate plus fit clothes. He must be very overweight now? Help!

Low carb is the best way to go.

It naturally controls appetite and even if he overeats it’s less metabolically damaging than a high carb diet. There are tons of low carb replacements of high carb foods.

I don’t think you should be putting him on any sort of ‘diet’ or weighing him unless you want him to have a lifelong issue with weight . Healthy diet , healthy snacks and more exercise . Do you have a games console that you could get some active type games for and the whole family can play

Obviously you know him and can tell if he's over weight but I'd not go off school clothing alone. Dd is very slim but still goes up a full age range like your ds in her school stuff. It obviously runs very small

get help from an HCP.
Putting an 11 yr old ‘on a diet’ and referring to them as ‘a chunk’ sounds like a really good way to create long term issues. (Saying this as a normal weight adult with food issues who was called fatso all they way through school and couldn’t fit in the normal school uniforms).

School clothing is bizarre. My 50th centile DS who has to have his age appropriate adjustable waist trousers on the tightest setting was wearing age 7-8 school jumpers in reception.

Clearly you know him best and if you can see he does need to slim down that’s one thing but do check every avenue before you panic.

I would agree that it would be best to avoid weighing him/talking about it and instead get him focussed on healthy eating. Bulk out his meals with low calorie veg/salad and up his exercise (take up cycling for the summer or something).

Don't go by clothing size. My 5 year old is tall 135cm and yes bit chunky but average in her class. Wears age 8 to 9. But doesn't look overweight because of the height. Weighs 4.1st ( gp weighed her for medicine 2 weeks ago)

12-13 plus fit trousers don't fit him so I do think his waist is excessively big for his height. To get school trousers to fit I'm going to need to buy 13-14 plus fit. I don't want to do that as he will be too big to wear uniform I a few years. 11-12 joggers fit him and 10-11 joggers are just still OK for height

I never say shes chunky to her or weigh her myself

I'd focus more on adding healthy choices, so no snacks, no junk, no drinks except water, don't buy any treats to have at home, watch portion sizes of pasta/potatoes/bread. Serve dinners family style so plate up his portion at the hob and then that's it, no seconds. Three meals a day and nothing in between unless it has protein and fibre so eg. Apple slices and a piece of cheese, celery and carrot sticks with hummus, plate of sliced up raw veg with some olive oil and salt to dip. Replace chips on the side with cut up raw pepper/cucumber/carrot.

I wouldn't be too worried - he will grow and stretch out. Do active things as family time, cycling, walk the dog, swimming.

It's easier to do for your child than it is for yourself! I say as I mindlessly eat peanut M&Ms that I really don't need...

I really recommend going via your gp as this is such a sensitive issue and there may be a best way of doing it, including with regards to his asd. I wouldn’t completely go by clothes size tbh and some kids do have a ‘chunky phase’. A dietician can advise good meal plans for ALL the family as the other kids being skinny doesn’t mean they are healthy. What is your own relationship with weight?

You'll always be able to get uniform most kids by year 10 are in small mens. Don't go by clothing

I don't tell him that either. I don't ever say he is fat or comment to any of the kids about their size. My 19 year old is 7 stone 10 and 5,7 I don't comment on that or worry about it.

However this is a problem as I can't get uniform to fit. Unless he wears jogging bottoms to school.

We both talked about his trousers not fitting. He could see they didn't fit. He sees this is an issue as they are about 4 inches too long.

Unless there is a shop that dies plus, plus fit?

I really would wait until you weigh before you start assuming he's very overweight.

He may carry more weight on his waist but have less elsewhere. Using clothes as an indicator is a really unreliable method.

And that's before you get into how much clothing sizes vary between places. I'm a size 12 in the majority of places (Next, H&M etc) but would need a 16 in somewhere like Primark

The general advice for prepubescent/pubescent children is to maintain weight until their height and weight balance out, which unless significantly obese should happen within a growth spurt or two.

I think along with portion sizes generally being too big, a lot of parents don’t necessarily know how much exercise a child needs. You should be looking at a minimum (ie for a child of average weight/bmi) high intensity activity for at least 60 minutes every day, more if your aim is to maintain weight without drastically reducing calories.

I think people can be a bit deluded with the “making clothes smaller” line, all clothes (including children’s) are subject to vanity sizing, if anything kids clothes have gotten bigger.

(However, do make sure you’ve not accidentally picked up the brands “narrow fit” range, especially as your only looking at one size/age difference).

Don't go by school uniform sizing! Get him the size that fits him.
Weighing him and putting him on a diet will give him a whole host of issues as he's growing up.

I’d just do it on the sly rather than make an issue of it and I wouldnt weigh him.

my dd has gotten quite chunky recently. So I’ve just reduced snacks to max 2 per day. Reduced portion sizes and increased veg intake

We don't have junk in the house. We cook from scratch. He only drinks water. Something is going very wrong somewhere though

You get him the trousers that fit round the waist and have them taken up

He might be about to shoot up. My always tall & a bit plump dd1 has gone through 3 lots of skirts this year getting smaller each time & could do with the next size down. She's just stretched over the past year upwards & inwards as she's hit puberty.

This

My 11 year old asd DD is in small adult sizes. She struggles to feel full. I certainly won't be putting her on a diet. We talk about healthy choices and red amber green foods. When she wants more we go over what she's had and see what's missing eg has she not had much protein? Have a yoghurt or a bit of chicken, has she not had much veg? Get a carrot/ tomato/ bit of fruit. Usually this is enough. I think it's often just reassuring her food is available. She's growing into herself and I am not worried long term. Yes she was very overweight, and still is overweight but she was always in the 98 percentile and is now almost as tall as I am ( approx 5 ft 4 ) so it will sort itself out. Boys take longer to grow so I am sure he will be absolutely fine, just make sure he knows how to make good food choices (which doesn't include dieting of any description imo- they never work and are not at all good for you).

To fit around the waist he needs to go up 2 years in height and still be plus fit.

Maybe I'm thinking this all wrong. I will see if we can get some 13-14 plus fit and I will take them up.

I was just alarmed at trying them on.

Does he actually look overweight?

That's the appropriate size for her height. A size 8-9 is 134cm. The OP is talking about a plus fit in what I assume is the appropriate length being too tight.

Unfortunately it’s a well known phenomenon that parents can rarely tell how overweight their kids are. They’re often wrong by a significant amount.