Need to put 11 year old dson a diet 😪

[DyslexicPoster]

Getting him some new uniform for secondary in September. He is slightly tall for his age but not overly. I bought him plus fit 12-13 school trousers and they bearly do up. Clearly he is quite overweight.

He has always been a chunk and my biggest baby. He gas ASD and very much over eats.

How do I tackle putting a very young child on a diet? He has LD but he does understand that he needs to loose weight. He is quite active. Swims, karate, Beavers etc.

All his siblings are skeletal. They can eat whatever they like and are very thin. We don't have crisps or chocolate or snacks these are very much treats that are rare so less than once a week.

How do I work out how many calories he should be eating? I'm need to weight him but need to get new scale batteries.

I can't believe I gave let him get from a bit on the chunky side to not fitting into age appropriate plus fit clothes. He must be very overweight now? Help!

My 12 year old is in age 16-17 trousers for school. He's not fat, but he is a solid build.

Hi OP

I’m a health care professional with some experience of this. Here is a link to UK growth charts for children that will help you understand whether he is a healthy weight for his height. It’s like the ones they had at birth where they track centiles, but for older kids. You need to get his weight and height and then plot them in. https://www.rcpch.ac.uk/resources/uk-who-growth-charts-2-18-years

Ive done it subtly with my kids where I plot their height against a wall for fun, then go back and measure it later with a tape. With the scales I just pop them on in the morning before they eat/dress in a “ooo went hit new batteries, I wonder what we weigh” type thing. Then I work it out later so they never know.

This will give you a much better indicator than clothing or looking at him. A PP is right, there is really good evidence to say parents struggle to read their own kids weight.

It sounds like you’re doing the right things at home re food. Do keep an eye on portion sizes and if he is eating secretly. It could be a good chance to see if there are any other sports or activities he is interested in doing. Would he like to start park run or cycling? Frame it as getting healthy rather than weight.

I have a 9yo DD who has ASD and hypermobility which causes poor muscle tone.

She is small height wise but has a tummy so wears age 11-12 clothes from some places. She gets weighed everytime she goes to an appointment (2-3 times a month) and nobody is concerned at all.

Rather than thinking diet it's just healthy eating - on the plate no more than 1/4 carbs, half should be veg the remainder protein. Plenty of exercise of different kinds (though if the post is true I'm guessing he's not in beavers!) junior parkrun might be a good addition. Make sure desserts and sweets are treats not rewards

Oh dear god.

He’s a kid, you aren’t advising your mate on how to loose a few pounds for her holiday. Children have higher carb needs than adults. Keep your random and unqualified ideas to yourself in this case.

Book a call with your GP nurse OP as I’m sure many have said. There is NHS guidance on how kids can manage weight and there may be local support available

My son has LD and is overweight . He is very short for his age so I have gradually cut back on treats and limit his portions so as he grows he will hopefully lean out .
It's weird as my dd is tall and slim and me and dh aren't overweight but he is physically disabled too so doesn't move as much as the average 12 year old

So I would just chat about snacks , work out the calories in each snack and choose lower calorie higher protein options so keep him full for longer . If he eats veg make sure 1/3 of his plate is veg .

I also make my son scoot before school while we wait for his bus . I have a scooter and we go together . It's quite fun

I haven't weighed my son but he has definitely lost a bit from his middle .

I'm playing the long game while he grows as he loves his food and I don't want him to notice or feel upset about it

For what it's worth the majority of kids at my sons special school are overweight . I guess they don't move so much and the parents don't allow for this or are aware of calorie intake v exercise etc .

My DS was in plus fit trousers a couple of years older than what he was when he started secondary school and I had to take them up by several inches. By the time he left it had all evened out. If he genuinely is eating a healthy diet and is active maybe he just needs a few years for everything to even out.

Sympathies from me. My DC has suspected ASD and is gaining weight fast. They have no shut off point with food. I'm going to have to hide food in the car.
There's the real prospect they won't leave their room until September so I'm trying to figure out now the hell to keep them healthy.

If he has low muscle tone the tummy could be less "weight" than lack of core strength, but it might be worth getting advice from professionals whether there's something hormonal not quite right or for dietary advice.

Yeah low carb is ridiculous for a growing child who's going to be hitting puberty soon

Obviously high protein is good but I wouldn't even think about low caring mine. Couldn't anyway, they both have spd around food so most of their diet consists of beige and carbs

You need to speak to a health care professional such as your GP or the school nursing team. Do not put your child on any sort of weight loss diet or cut out arbitrary food groups and especially not without professional advice/support.

Current healthcare approach is to maintain weight so that the child grows into it rather than aiming for actual weight loss. Putting a child on a diet runs the real risk of them missing out on the correct level of nutrition that is essential for healthy growth.

School uniform sizing is bonkers.

My 14yo is 5ft 7in and she cannot fit in age 16 school trousers, however wears a 10-12 in women's trousers comfortably. She is not fat, at all!!!

School clothes it's like they forget kids are developing earlier and have arses and hips.

According to the nhs website. I'm not sure I can risk just waiting to see if he grows into himself and shoots up. To me it looks and feels beyound normal weigh gain.

He has quite severe SEN and goes to a SEN school. There is zero chance he is buying any extra food. He has taxi and escort door to door.

I don't want him to get paranoid via me about his body, but I do think this isn't ideal either. I have a friend who was always saying her dd was just tall and she was a size 20 by 16, which maybe was her ideal size for her height, I just feel by looking at him this isn't great.

You still need professional input before you go restricting his intake. It's not about "risking waiting" to see if he grows into his size, it's about ruling out any underlying medical causes for the weight gain such as thyroid issues, hormone imbalances, etc and ensuring that any restriction of intake doesn't limit the nutrients that are essential for healthy development.

The reason why the medical approach is almost always to maintain weight and let the child grow into it is because it works and is the healthiest/safest approach when dealing with bodies that are still growing and developing. Dieting is usually only used when a child is dangerously overweight, aka off the charts, or has health conditions relating to their weight.

You should contact either your GP or your local school nursing team.

Also using the RCOG growth charts (which is what a paediatrician would use to look at your child's weight) both his height and weight are on the same centile which would indicate less of a problem than you seem to think. BMI calculators are notoriously unreliable for children, especially during periods of rapid growth such as puberty, due to the variations in height vs weight at any given time.

Get professional advice.

Does he like sport do you do family activities? Generally if you have a healthy diet and do excercise they are fine.

You shouldn’t put a child on a diet, you need to speak to a HCP. A one off weight is not necessarily that meaningful

your 19 year old has a BMI of 16.9 yet you say you’re not concerned about them, that’s well into the underweight category and at risk of adverse effects? Health wise being slightly overweight is generally less risky than being underweight…

He’s 98 percentile height and 99 percentile weight. That’s in proportion. He might have a tummy with it, but talk to a health professional. Did he have a yearly general check-up? There are many males who hate their bodies, not just women. This is a challenging time, just before or on puberty.

OP I’m a health professional also. I say don’t panic and don’t put him on a diet as such right now. For now just get him the next size up trousers and get them taken up and don’t make a big issue out of it to him.

It’s really so great that you’ve checked properly what his height and weight and BMI are like on percentiles so you can see if there is actually a problem. Well done for doing this, it makes things so much clearer. At this age I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s about to have a growth spurt and has a tummy partly due to this before shooting up. And if he is high in the centiles for both height and weight this may be less of an issue than you think. He may just be a large framed person. However if he’s 98th percentile for BMI itself in children then yes there is probably some childhood obesity at play here, it is more common in children with SEN partly as they tend to be less “sporty” and active and also as they can have issues with recognising when they are full or comfort eating to self regulate etc.

It’s great that you say he’s quite active already, encourage this, that’s the key here at this age. It’s very different to dealing with obesity in adults. The focus is generally on trying to maintain weight rather than lose it so that he grows in to his new weight as his height increases basically. And other than cutting out absolute junk food with no real nutrition (brilliant that you say there isn’t a lot of this and he drinks water etc) the focus is more on activity levels than what he’s eating. And focussing on good health for the whole family. For all children in the U.K. (not just obese ones) the recommendation is an hour of moderate to vigorous physical activity daily minimum. If he’s doing this and not eating junk it will probably sort itself out.

It would be a good idea to see the GP and maybe get bloods checked to rule out unusual things like thyroid problems at this age. Mostly this isn’t an issue but it does perhaps sound a bit odd that his BMI is so high if he’s genuinely very active and not eating junk food or drinking fizzy drinks etc.

But no talk of a diet! Focus on upping activity levels!

Ah I see you did say he tends to overeat so that’s probably the issue. In that case as well as encouraging activity levels and any interests that revolve around active stuff then I’d also subtly try to cut back a bit on his portion sizes (as sounds like he is just overeating at meals etc rather than reaching for snacks and junk food from what you say). You can eg. use a smaller plate to trick the eye into it looking larger and make sure there are no leftovers for seconds (or freeze leftovers before anyone gets a chance at seconds!). It will be ok.

Please don’t put pre teens on diets! It will wreck his metabolism and he will yo-yo weight wise for the rest of his life.

do some research, wait for the growth spurt, know kids this age pile one around a stone before they grow. It’s normal.

do some healthy activities. Fewer door to door taxis. Maybe cycle or walk with him.

aim for 2 or 3 family activities a week. Help him turn that extra (highly essential) puppy fat into muscle.

speak to an HCP if nothing changes in 6-12 months.

Growing children shouldn't be on a diet with an aim to actually lose weight. They can and will turn that wwight into height, so a balanced diet to slow down weight gain until height catches up is fine.

Children need a balanced diet that includes fat and protein and carbs and veg - don't follow any fad diets that cut out or severely restrict one of the food groups, they are all important especially in a growing child - faddish diets that work for adults are unsuitable and could get your child developing nutritional disorder.

With asd in the mix, there may be a sensory issue of overeating for the chewing sensation - find out if chew toys or chewing gum helps?

Most of the advice here is horrendous.

Some overweight or obese children absolutely need dietary management of their weight.

Its no wonder true whole world is getting fatter.

Reduce the sugar intake, increase protein intake as this fills you up for longer. Avoids cereals for breakfast, porridge or higher protein such as eggs.
Some great recipes from Joe Wicks.