Need to put 11 year old dson a diet 😪

[DyslexicPoster]

Getting him some new uniform for secondary in September. He is slightly tall for his age but not overly. I bought him plus fit 12-13 school trousers and they bearly do up. Clearly he is quite overweight.

He has always been a chunk and my biggest baby. He gas ASD and very much over eats.

How do I tackle putting a very young child on a diet? He has LD but he does understand that he needs to loose weight. He is quite active. Swims, karate, Beavers etc.

All his siblings are skeletal. They can eat whatever they like and are very thin. We don't have crisps or chocolate or snacks these are very much treats that are rare so less than once a week.

How do I work out how many calories he should be eating? I'm need to weight him but need to get new scale batteries.

I can't believe I gave let him get from a bit on the chunky side to not fitting into age appropriate plus fit clothes. He must be very overweight now? Help!

Yes, true. But as other have said, going by the number on a clothing label isn't really much of an indicator either.

In what way is it not?

Plus size clothing of the correct size for their height/leg length being too tight is generally an indicator.

You know by looking at your child if he is overweight which it sounds like he is. You also mention he overeats. Ignore those telling you to ignore it. Tackle it head on now or you will have an overweight adult. People bury their heads in the sand when their kids are fat. He will grow into himself, he is big boned etc…all bullshit. Kids are not meant to be overweight. If you look at all their friends and they are all of a similar, slim weight but your kids stick out by looking very different because they are a lot more overweight, then there is something wrong. (Medical issues are different).

Don't put him on a diet. he can grow into his weight as he gets taller.
Just make sure the food he eats is really healthy, that you don't have loads of rubbishy snacks in the house and that portions aren't too big.

maybe organise a joint fitness challenge with him - a long bike ride or climbing a mountain or doing 5k or swimming a mile. Something that involves some practise regularly to get in training.

Never mention him being overweight. Focus on him getting fit and strong and toned. Focus on what good certain foods can do for his body.

These comments are why we have an obesity crisis the op has said her child looks overweight and the waist of the related age is far to small. Of course her son should be on a diet health reasons being emphasised to the child. We are so paranoid about "fat shaming" that we are putting our children at risk of serious health concerns.

This.

Could he be getting junk food at school/if he goes to the shop at that time?

Buy school trousers from a school uniform shop that sells by waist and length measures not high street stores like next, M&S who sell by age. It's important that he's comfortable in what he's wearing everyday. If he's having a healthy mix of food then don't worry, he'll probably shoot up in height at some point during puberty and things will balance out. It's much more harmful making a teenager feel uncomfortable in their body than if they are carrying some extra weight at this stage so long as they are not eating loads of junk which it doesn't sound like your DS is. If the rest of the family are slim on a similar diet then it is probably more a genes thing than behaviour.
Don't weigh, don't comment, don't show stress about school clothing. Maintain activity and variety of diet.

Buy school trousers from a school uniform shop that sells by waist and length measures not high street stores like next, M&S who sell by age.
Ours came in regular and long for each waist measurement, even if there was short the waist to length would likely be the same as a plus fit. Length will be relative to waist just like with age sizes. You can't just get bigger and bigger waist sizes for the same length until he is in a men's short in length.

Please tread carefully OP. I was overweight in year 7 and my mother made sure I knew it, lots of huffing about having to buy women’s trousers for me and I had (and still have) many issues about it. I eventually stretched out and got slimmer after puberty.

my two girls are tall for their age and my 9yr old just bought 13yr old clothes, for length mainly. I’m trying to instill in them that they should buy clothes that fit them rather than give them a complex that they can’t wear their age band.

If you eat healthily at home, is he getting extra calories elsewhere?

My DS went a bit nuts in year 7 and bought a milkshake every day on top of lunch and a pudding and from speaking to friends it's not unusual behaviour for children suddenly exposed to junk food to over indulge.

Age sized clothes are not a reliable indicator of whether a child is overweight. It could be that they're short, or shaped differently. Have you not experienced clothes being different fits in different shops despite having the same size label?!

If OPs son is overweight, then it needs to be tackled, of course. And sooner rather than later to reduce the chance of issues further down the line.

But she needs to know whether he is actually overweight first!

Hi OP
I think it best not to panic. If he is eating healthily at home and you truly don't have junk food in then he is possibly buying stuff at school? May be worth having a word about that possibility gently.
Other than that I would keep going as you are. Maybe slightly reduce his portion sizes (portion sizes are def getting bigger!)
Please do not 'put him on a diet'. Especially not a low carb, high protein diet designed for adults. Kids need carbs for energy. They need a lot of cals to grow, kick start puberty, learn and reducing carbs will just make him tired.
Also an extreme reaction to clothes not fitting is not going to help his stress levels. Or his body confidence.
Lots of activity over the summer hols and he'll hopefully shoot up.

School pants do not vary much in waist size with the exception of George which are sized too large not too small. So any child that is not exceptionally tall for their age should fit it the waist. A 15/16 year old rugby playing boy possibly not but the op's son is 11. And as I said the op has noticed her son is overweight and is being responsible thinking of his health with posters falling over themselves telling her not too.
This isn't comparable to adult sizing as their isn't a standard waist size for all over 18's.

I have a similar 12 year old op, asd and going to high school there is no way I’d get him in trousers. He’s solid but I think he’s due a growth spurt, he’s lost a kilo recently just by being a bit more active but hasn’t grown. He’s quite sedentary so getting him going is hard work. Just reduce portions and snacks and try to get him moving.

Whilst you try M&S do a plus size waist trouser I had to get for my 13 year old as he’s fall but regular trousers are too tight as he’s got a bit of a tummy. We have had a chat about being more active and not eating crap at lunch times so hopefully by the end of the summer he’ll be back in normal trousers.

Do not weigh him.

It doesn’t even matter what he weighs because you’ve already said he’s overweight, so the scales won’t tell you anything new.

He’s not going to lose the weight by September so I’d look for bigger trousers that you can take up if needs be.

It sounds like you all eat really healthy and so I wouldn’t do much different.

I would slightly reduce his portion size of things that are high calorie and replace it with a bit more veg, so the amount of food he’s eating is the same but it’s less calories.

I’d also do some swaps or make the recipes lower calorie. E.g if you are using cheese get extra mature cheese and just use slightly less.

My DD would also fill out and put on weight before a growth spurt and then a couple months later be back to a healthy weight without making any changes.

I think a good start would be to slightly reduce your ds’s carb and push for increasing his vegetable intake. Vegetables contain a fair amount of carb. Not low carb btw though as boys especially need to grow loads on hitting puberty.

My 15 yo dd was fairly overweight when younger and in much older clothes for her age, on the 98th centile at some stage. Some but not all of that will have been higher than average muscle mass. She’s now a sporty size 10 and within the healthy bmi for her age.

The rules when she was in primary for example was not to have double carb. So in her packed lunch she’d choose between a sandwich, crackers or crisps with 2 sorts of protein, veg and fruit. She doesn’t eat potato so Yorkshire pudding with her roast is the carb and so forth. We don’t follow this rule diligently these days as her weight is continuing to reduce by a tiny amount. Again, not an issue. This happened to me at her age and she self regulates.

She’s a chocolate cake fiend, wouldn’t eat porridge so I had to be careful with her sugar intake. For breakfast she at things like Greek yogurt with a home made low sugar higher than normal protein “muffin”. Made with plenty of eggs and the odd hidden ingredient.

My experience (as a teacher) is that boys are often a bit chunky (even booby sometimes) around age 11-13. Once they get that growth spurt, the grow up rather than out. However, its no bad thing to keep an eye on what you feed him, rather than make him all self-conscious by putting him on e an actual "diet" (a friend of mine did that and her he became anorexic. he now, at 30, has a lifelong obsession with what he does/doesn't eat. not good)

If he’s eating similar portion sizes to his siblings at home and you can verify he’s not eating a lot of junk at school, it’d be worth having some tests done to make sure there’s nothing medically causing his weight gain. A hormone, thyroid, or glandular problem, for example.

Honestly, it's SO normal for lads of that age to have a bit of podge. I know so many who at the age of starting secondary were chubby, but as soon as puberty hit they're tall and slim.

If you think his diet is good and he's doing plenty of exercise, I'd just let time do its thing.

@DyslexicPoster where did you buy the trousers from?

He might just be due a growth spurt. DS would get chubby and then shoot up a good 4 inches overnight.

I had to get 13-14, although they didn't need taking up. He's grown into his weight over the last year (year 7) so you may find that happens.

I wouldn't put him on a diet as such, keep an eye on portion sizes/making healthy food choices and try to keep him active over the summer