Need to put 11 year old dson a diet 😪

[DyslexicPoster]

Getting him some new uniform for secondary in September. He is slightly tall for his age but not overly. I bought him plus fit 12-13 school trousers and they bearly do up. Clearly he is quite overweight.

He has always been a chunk and my biggest baby. He gas ASD and very much over eats.

How do I tackle putting a very young child on a diet? He has LD but he does understand that he needs to loose weight. He is quite active. Swims, karate, Beavers etc.

All his siblings are skeletal. They can eat whatever they like and are very thin. We don't have crisps or chocolate or snacks these are very much treats that are rare so less than once a week.

How do I work out how many calories he should be eating? I'm need to weight him but need to get new scale batteries.

I can't believe I gave let him get from a bit on the chunky side to not fitting into age appropriate plus fit clothes. He must be very overweight now? Help!

Do you, aye? You'll forgive me if I don't take say-so of an internet random and instead go off information given to me by my child's paediatric team.

Absolutely! The OP has said her son is overweight, his clothes don't fit and 99% of the comments on here are from people (who have never seen him) telling her he's fine and will grow into his weight 🙄 Ridiculous.

Maintaining current weight while height catches up is the strategy most commonly used for overweight children as it manages their weight without restricting the nutrition they need for healthy growth and development. What is overweight for a child of (e.g.) 150cm will be a healthy weight for one of (e.g.) 160cm.

Evidence for low carb diets in children reports adverse effects such as poor growth, a greater risk of cardiovascular disease and psychological problems.

Sigh. Whatever.

I've only skim read, but on the immediate problem of the trousers, some shops - M&S I think - do a stocky build ft. We always had issues because DS is quite stocky on the thighs so the trend for skinny fit had to pass him by.

Actually Next does plus size waist trousers www.next.co.uk/style/ST179631/151690?dp=a&dndl=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-pLm3qulgAMVW-ztCh3zHQ8PEAQYAiABEgLTtvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#151690

The OP says he doesn't fit into plus fit trousers.

It's a shame this thread is descending into a bunfight. OP you are absolutely doing the right things by seeking real-life medical advice to tackle this. Good luck!

He shouldn't be on a calorie deficit diet. I made that clear by specifying deficit. You can choose to ignore that if you want to feel right, but no child should ever be put on a deficit diet. And no mention of 'a diet' should be made to a child. He needs to eat the number of calories he actually needs, not fewer than he needs. that's not a diet. It's healthy eatingm though it will be fewer than he;s currently eating. Then his weight won;t drop but it will stabilise, allowing him t grow slimmer as he gets taller. It'

I think it depends on your definition of a diet. Not everyone thinks a diet has to be a diet plan such as weight watchers but just eating less calories than you were doing so before. I am sure that is all OP is referring to when she talks about a diet.

My ten-year-old wears 12-13 plus fit trousers and I hem them at the bottom. His brother was exactly the same until he hit puberty and then he shot up and slimmed out.

OP I'm wondering if you managed to source a uniform?

My 10 yr old boy also has autism (aspergers) and needs to slim down. I have never weighed him but he has developed a pot belly that folds into 2 rolls of fat when he sits down, so there is no denying it. I read this thread with interest. He is not active and find exercise really difficult as he has dyspraxia and opts out of most things, even PE in school. We have started and stopped so many activities. But in the last 10 days we have tried going for little jogs with him, every other day. He is really improving and we are hoping we have finally found something that works. He is very motivated by numbers so enjoys checking how long it took and setting little challenges like 20 second sprint at this corner etc.

I need to work more on foods as he is like a bottomless pit, often he will feel nauseous after a meal cos he overeats and doesn't get the 'full' message. Lately we give him a smaller portion than normal and tell him he can have more in 30 mins if he needs it and I think this might be working. Time will tell.

I don't want to introduce calories and 'diet' but he seems really interested in how many calories his exercise burns and said he would love an app like fitness pal that he could calculate everything. I'm just not sure if that's creating a habit of over thinking about food, or just allowing him take responsibility??

I can't really relate to healthy eating really as I'm overweight and have been up and down (mostly up) since my teens..twice in my life I've been a healthy weight. I am absolutely adamant to not have an overweight child. The damage caused by life in an overweight body is totally underestimated IMO by parents who are healthy weights themselves. I think everything possible should be done to address it. I know from experience - my younger sis was obese at 5 and my parents repeatedly said they didnt want to 'make her anorexic' And guess what she is morbidly obese now and I cannot begin to count the personal cost. Even for me I think I could have lived a different happier life if my parents had taken my teenage weight gain more seriously.

The ONLY way I managed to lose weight after 50 years of every diet you can imagine was to cut out all processed and non wholegrain foods.
It's not a diet and you can eat as much as you like as long as its not processed.
I think it's wrong to put a child on a diet as such.
Children only get fat when they eat processed foods. Pizza, ready meals, white rice and pasta, milk chocolate, sweets.
Even if nobody else in the family is fat it will benefit everyone.
Cheddar cheese is generally non processed, try and get one without potato starch, tahini is just crushed sesame seeds, meat is ok although I prefer to be vegetarian as long as it's whole meat and not processed like sausages, peanut butter is ok as long as it has no other added ingredients.
Bread is not ok, too many processed food ingredients, I make mine in a breadmaker from wholegrain flour. It doesn't take long.
A diet doesn't change habits it just deprives people, long term habit changing depends on wanting to eat only good, simple food.
Homemade cake is an ideal once a week treat.
He won't lose weight quickly but will most definitely lose weight as he grows.

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I can tell you, if you feed your family on unprocessed foods they will feel full very very quickly, you just cannot overeat on food like this. In the 60's when I grew up we all ate meat and two veg and nobody was fat.

@LaMaG
My dd was overweight at your ds’s age as I said upthread. She’s within normal range now and has been for some time, she’s 15. It did take a concerted effort from me and I didn’t talk about weight, rather about eating foods that are good for her. I also didn’t give the school permission to weigh her in year 6 because I was determined she would grow out of it and I didn’t want this on her record.

If your ds learns about healthy lifestyles from the internet / the American website below, maybe you can encourage him to snack on veg like carrots and eat balanced meals including a lot of veg. If he eats more Mediterranean (if those foods agree with him) and whole grain, he will hopefully be fuller.

From the few pages I’ve seen, the website doesn’t look too bad and is medically reviewed. It discusses the feeling of being full but does talk about being overweight and obese so you may not want to show to your ds. There is information on good foods etc if your ds is interested. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for him or anyone to start just counting calories in too much detail. Some people have addictive personalities and children can have such black and white thinking that you wouldn’t want him hooked on calorie counting. If your ds counts distance, speed, time taken, hills climbed etc, calories burned will perhaps be more incidental and part of an overall understanding of energy in vs energy out. https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/calorie.html

I am in no way an expert btw, this is just my opinion as a mum.

As for yourself, I get it. I really do. I’m obese due to chronic illness. I was a healthy bmi once upon a time, overweight as a kid then incredibly skinny mid teens, about 6.5 stone. I didn’t achieve that by dieting, it was at the tail end of puberty, which is probably why my dd is also continuing to lose weight.

I started eating healthier 7 weeks ago and have lost a stone so it is achievable if you have the mindset. Salads (easier to eat in summer) with olive oil and balsamic, lots of veg and a decent amount of protein, cooking decent food. My dd is very active and having more carb than me as I’m eating very little carb as tbh my body doesn’t really like it. Eg she will eat a few pieces of garlic bread with her salad. There’s a thread atm on intermittent fasting atm if you’re interested for yourself. Obviously not for your ds. I think there are also weight loss groups on MN. These will have very knowledgeable posters. BIWI used to do bootcamp but she’s stopped now. However, her threads will be around. IF THREAD: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4857021-to-encourage-you-to-fast?page=1

@Mummyoflittledragon Thanks for that.

Theres a bit of the emperor's new clothes about the word diet on this forum.

Mustnt be a diet, or say the word diet

Diet just involves your way of eating. And this child (fi he is overweight which seems likely) needs a specific diet to make sure that he doesnt continue to be overweight. Thats a diet, its disingenuous to keep saying 'dont talk about diets' or 'dont put him on a diet'. He is on a diet.

It also doesnt do kids any favours to pretend that they're not overweight, if you're ignoring it at home, you can be its being mentioned at school.

good on you for recognising this, and being a good parent and helping him. the amount of overweight children I see where the parents do nothing about it is ridiculous - all the children end up constantly being unwell, and become obese before they finish school.

I would just cut down portion sizes and bulk up with veg, but plain steamed veg dont do anything starchy or with oil etc.

he will really thank you for it in years to come. best of luck xx

Please don't put your child on a low carb diet. Healthy diet and lots of exercise is the way to go.

Your 19 year old has a BMI in the anorexic range.

Why aren't you concerned about that?

BMI doesnt have an 'anorexic' range

I suspect you mean underweight?

Not really no.
Until recent changes you needed to have a BMI of less than 17.5 to be diagnosed with anorexia. Sadly that criteria is used still in many places as a guide to access to treatment and illness severity.

Many individuals I know strive for that 17.5 BMI as validation they are sick enough.

So yes, a BMI of 16.9 is way beyond underweight and within the moderate anorexia range.

You're conflating two different issues, which sometimes overlap

You may need a particular BMI to be diagnosed as suffering with anorexia nervosa, but you dont need to be suffering from anorexia nervosa to necessarily be underweight according to BMI. There could be several reasons why someone is underweight

Its completely inappropriate to state as fact thta someone (who isnt even being discussed) is within 'the anorexic range' and berate the OP for not being concerned (she hasnt mentioned whether she is or isnt) when you know nothing about them.