Need to put 11 year old dson a diet 😪

[DyslexicPoster]

Getting him some new uniform for secondary in September. He is slightly tall for his age but not overly. I bought him plus fit 12-13 school trousers and they bearly do up. Clearly he is quite overweight.

He has always been a chunk and my biggest baby. He gas ASD and very much over eats.

How do I tackle putting a very young child on a diet? He has LD but he does understand that he needs to loose weight. He is quite active. Swims, karate, Beavers etc.

All his siblings are skeletal. They can eat whatever they like and are very thin. We don't have crisps or chocolate or snacks these are very much treats that are rare so less than once a week.

How do I work out how many calories he should be eating? I'm need to weight him but need to get new scale batteries.

I can't believe I gave let him get from a bit on the chunky side to not fitting into age appropriate plus fit clothes. He must be very overweight now? Help!

I used to help run a childhood obesity service. Best advice is only water or milk to drink ( semi- skimmed milk). Big glass of water before every meal/ snack. Raw veg to be served before the main meal as a "starter" or vegetable soup in the winter.

We were in a similar situation about a year ago (school trousers were getting tight while kength was fine, borderline overweight according to BMI, Neurodiverse son). Our approach was to change treats (crisps etc are treats, not a daily occurence, frozen fruit is the desert of choice in our house - we found it was the small things that added up) and up exercise to at least 1 hour per day (proper exercise, not just walking).
he‘s now healthy weight, school uniform fits and (bonus!) is doing much better in school. He still doesn’t know he was overweight (but of course noticed tgat trousers fit more comfortable)
We are so used to overweight people we only recognise it once they are morbidly obese. Now is the time to act to keep him healthy!

Dietician needed her. Growing still and so needs guided advice, one or two apps will set you on the right path. Especially with asd and what your child will and will not eat

But there are school trousers that will fit him. But you don’t seem to want to buy the next size up for some reason.

Buy him the size that fit him. Don’t talk to him about which sizes do or don’t fit. Don’t weigh him. Speak to your GP and start feeding him healthier food. Make sure the only snacks available are fruit, veg and nuts. And don’t give him money for his walk home from school - the kids where I live binge on sugar and caffeine after school.

Hopefully you get good advice on here, I will, just to give you some peace of mind say in the teen years they seem to grow out but often then take a growth spurt and then go up more. If there's not a lot of crisps, chocolate etc I'd just look at whether he gets a lot of bread and pastries etc but as I said could be heading into a growth spurt so it is going to be something you have to balance (sorry I'm not much help) and I think look at making sure you don't cut carbs (so still eating the good ones and make sure you don't starve him with no bread at all!) because kids need them for energy, especially if he's active. Best of luck op

Up his veg fruit & exercise. Buy him clothes that fit whatever the age (take the labels out if you’re bothered… I did this for my reception child when he went in in a age 2-3 uniform I stuck his name over the age label so he didn’t think he was “still a baby”….)

please don’t weigh him. I weigh mine out of curiosity around once a year when we go on holiday with the cover of weighing the luggage and seeing how many suitcases they are similar too/ they don’t remember any numbers or comparisons between themselves.

I agree with people above saying we don’t realise when our own kids are chubby. You really need to sort this though. Cooking from scratch doesn’t mean you cook healthy. Having issues with weight/ food/ self esteem is just awful for everyone. Good luck

Honestly op, I'd just see your doctor. Some of the advice on this thread is just terrible so don't trust it. A low carb diet is not suitable for a young growing boy.

If you think through what he eats and drinks in a day, is there anything that is accounting for a lot of calories? For example, a lot of fruit juice. Swap drinks for water and add more veggies to meals.

Bit odd to think an 11 year old doesn't see themselves, what good is denial? Diet is the wrong word, people use it to mean weight loss diet when it just neans what you eat. Slightly smaller portions and more exercise should work, plus blood tests if you think it could be medical.

Hi OP, sounds like we have the same son! 'Mild' SEN, so attends mainstream, but part of the way it manifests is a very restrictive diet- he has sensory issues around food, clothes and temperatures.
He's been between the 92 and 99th percentile for both weight and height since he was a tiny baby and has stayed there.
We've been referred to the healthy eating clinic or whatever it is after the school height/weight measurement in year 6.
I'm just keeping an eye on things at home- so he only drinks milk/water/sugar free squash, one packet of biscuits a week to have as desserts over the week, he walks 3 miles a day to/from school etc.
Given his restricted diet and the fact he's always been on the upper centiles, not sure there's a great deal more we can do, but will see if the clinic has any bright ideas!

You are absolutely wrong about this. I had input from health professionals. An 11 year-old boy will grow taller, so he can grow into his weight. Putting him on a calorie restricted diet (ie calorie deficit) could cause him life long eating disorders. He needs to reduce his intake to neutral calories in and out, with focus on highly nutritious foods and lots of exercise. Then without ever being 'fat-shamed' he will have a growth spurt and get slim, having developed an understanding of healthy eating and physical activity which will serve him all his life.

Adults who are full height need restrictive diets, not growing children.
Your attitude is what causes obesity - restricted diets lead to greater weight gain than healthy eating does.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/jul/23/parenting-kids-weight-virginia-sole-smith

This.
If we don’t teach our children to control their appetites how do we expect them to do it when they are adults.
I know eating disorders are a worry but there are often other mental health issues at play there.

being an overweight adult is far more likely than having an eating disorder.

You just said he shouldn’t be on a calorie restricted diet and then in the next sentence said he needs to reduce his intake to neutral calorie in, calories out. That is a calorie restricted diet. You don’t need to call it a diet.

Being overweight and overeating is a potential lifelong eating disorder in itself

Paediatric weight loss should only be done under the guidance of a health care professional.

Good god I'm not fat shaming him. NHS seems to agree with me on this.

He isn't my therapist. We have a adult - child relationship and he is unaware of any of my concerns about anything in life. We all got weighed and measured yesterday. He thought nothing of that. However he could see the trousers didn't fit. I can't protect him from what his own eyes can see. He could see they was way to long. According to Next with his waist at 83cm he needs to be 16 years plus fit. He has just turned 11. They will be 26 cm too long. Then he needs to go into mens trousers. At 11. He is 151 tall! I'm sorry I don't buy that this is something to ignore. I'm going to book in with the gp tomorrow.

It's like me getting to size 40, it's all well and good but where do buy clothes? It gets to a point it impacts your life.

There's an interesting article in the Guardian called Fat- what if we let our children eat what they want.

Luckily my autistic learning disabled son is naturally slender (his restricted diet is absolutely appalling) but if I was you I'd try low carb. X
And definitely try increasing his fluid intake for that fuller feeling before his meals x
YOUVE GOT THIS MAMMA X

I wouldn't worry our oldest similar problem and then all of a sudden within a few months the pup fat started disappearing as he suddenly sprouted he's almost 14 now taller than me and normal size again

This is awful advice.

Children need carbs to aid their development and growth. It is not safe or healthy for children to cut out or restrict an entire food group unless it's on medical advice.

I think speaking to the GP is a good shout, OP.

There's some awful advice on this thread. The OP is doing the right thing by acknowledging that her DS is overweight and making an apt with the GP to discuss it.
I'm not surprised there are so shy overweight kids out there if this thread is anything to go by!

Nobody needs carbs for anything and certainly not for development.

And before you ask, yes I am qualified to comment because this is literally my job. I also have a BSc in Nutrition Science and a Masters in Human Nutrition just in case my 10 year tenure isn’t satisfactory.

My daughter is also overweight. We discussed it, she knows she is and she asked to see a dietician, I took her to our GP.

He referred her to the school nurse, who in turn, referred us to a local council scheme, Healthy for Life. It's a ten week course, where you learn about portion sizes, getting active etc.

They make it fun, everyone was engaged (8 families started, four finished).

It was really useful, it's surprising how much weight you can gain by over doing portion sizes. A serving of cereal is 30 g - the bowl looks empty!

There are similar schemes, nationwide and I really can recommend it. Good luck to your lad.

It will help when he grows taller but I think you are right to be concerned. I know it’s easier said than done but try to reduce any ultra processed foods and concentrate on providing a balanced diet and eating plenty of vegetables pulses salads fruit and lean protein and good carbs. What does he drink? Try out things like sweet potato wedges with grilled chicken or turkey, see if you can get him to help you cook in the Summer holidays, maybe a stir fry with brown rice or recipes by Joe Wicks or hairy bikers or Tom Kerridge. Ensure he is getting plenty of physical activity every day. Good Luck. No one wants your son to develop anxiety about food and his weight. But on the other hand now would be a good time to stop this trend of putting weight on and form good habits before he gets more overweight.