Weddings in England - how are they so expensive?

[TheWayoftheLeaf]

I know I'm probably a dumbass. But I just got engaged (yay) to my partner of 9 years. I always knew weddings were expensive of course... but I didn't know HOW expensive.

I've started looking today at venues and to be honest it's just made me really sad. It's all so incredibly expensive. My cousins got married recently and now I'm in awe at the beautiful events they put on.

I suppose I never appreciated it before trying to plan my own. I have about £10,000 to spend. Which in my head was plenty (a deposit on a house in some areas for ONE DAY).

Anyway, I can get married in Cornwall, London or Yorkshire because of family and friends being split across the three. But every venue I see is most of the budget. Or if I find a cheaper venue then the food is oddly more expensive and takes it up to a similar amount. Thousands on just food (and of course all venues ban outside food or only their selected £££ suppliers). At this rate I'll have a venue and food, maybe flowers, and that's it for my £10k.

Does anyone know any nice venues in those areas? (Top of Cornwall not bottom so it's not too long for the rest of the family to get there). That don't cost so so much?

I know I could do the registry office and I've suggested eloping but my fiancé wants a wedding and my parents and siblings really want one because I'm the first to get engaged.

I'm really down by it all. It seems insane. The only wedding venues I don't really like are barns. They can be lovely but they're just not for me - I don't want to insult anyone's lovely weddings I just dislike them for me.

Any ideas? In my dreams it was a beach wedding, an orangery, a greenhouse, an elegant hall. I'd do a forest but with the UK weather that's obviously not possible.

Any advice or ideas?

Holiday Inn do quite cheap all inclusive wedding packages. I went to one that had a lovely outdoor ceremony as the pagoda in the garden was licensed for weddings. You have a very decent budget if you shop around.

This sounds like such a lovely wedding ❤️

This sounds like such a lovely wedding ❤️

There will be other kind of halls that are not church halls ,I assume the app waa getting at the fact hiring axhall.is much cheaper than a hotel.

Please do not waste your money.

If your parents want a big wedding then they need to pay for it.

It is very stressful especially for the bride and a complete waste of money.

@TheWayoftheLeaf you say your fiancé wants a big wedding, have you been through figures ? Unfortunately £10k just isn't enough , DP's daughters spent £25k and 30 k. The last was 7 years ago.
I think it's obscene.

I was the same. My bloke wanted a church. At the end of the day I told myself it was just a venue. Bear in mind though you have to be there for the previous three Sundays to have the banns read. We were married on a Wednesday, that reduced costs instantly.

@TheWayoftheLeaf

• *I had a central London wedding at The Deck on top of the Nationnal Theatre. It was a few years ago now but according to Bridebook it costs £3-5k to hire the venue. It has amazing views over the London skyline. We had a Friday wedding and just had drinks there and then hired a bus (£500) to a cheaper venue for the reception . Both venues were easily accessible by public transport- I even took the tube and changed into my dress at the Theatre . It was such a fun day

Tavistock Town Hall is nice, grand panelled hall, Devon/Cornwall border and didn't dictate caterers particularly plus being a town centre is close to many catering possibilities.

Council owned so around £600 for the basic rate for the day. Not much more than what it cost 12 years ago. Would need to add ceremony costs if getting married there (we were in the Church opposite).

From this, check other town and village halls in your possible areas, most are cheaper than commercial venues. You could also do the legal ceremony the day before then have a ceremony with a celebrant in a non-licensed wedding venue.

Wouldn't recommend barns, marquees or similar because cost of logistics (toilets/kitchen) is often higher than a town hall type venue.

Some youth hostels also offer exclusive hire for weddings as well, how expensive they are though.

I spent most of my budget on food plus some flowers. Made my own cake (but supermarket fruit cake with ribbons in relevant colours looks great too.). Or you can do a tower of cheese, but buy from a local supplier.

Friends did own flowers, ordered from Tesco or Sainsbury's and arranged themselves (I didn't go this, purely because I kill flowers by looking at them).

Totally don't bother with chair covers but if you do like them, might be worth buying and selling on eBay rather than hiring.

Using a "pretty" council owned venue rather than a bare conference room will save on decor costs. We only had table flowers and bouquets, the room didn't need anything else.

Don't bother with seat covers because people will put coats and jackets over them

Look at the weather today . Imagine spending £££ on a wedding for it to be a washout

Plenty of gorgeous register office options in London: https://www.queenbeaphotography.co.uk/amp/best-london-registry-offices.

It looks like some also have reception venues.

We have been to many weddings over the year (ranging from a few grand to and eye watering 26k!!) and my advice is to have the wedding you and your fiancé want, not the wedding your parents or family expect. They have had their chance to plan their wedding the way they wanted it, now it’s yours and your fiancés turn.

we had a relatively small wedding, 40 day time and another 50 in the evening.perfect day for us.

best weddings bar our own was probably the two least expensive weddings. My sil was in the local church, walked to the village hall for meal then danced the night away before walking home, then my cousins who had a 6.30pm wedding service , photographs and then a party with buffet. Bizarrely , They are the two marriages that have lasted the longest too.

Find a DIY venue locally to you? Big village hall type thing . We did this and I'm so glad as it was so personal to us

Ha! I totally hear you! Yeah, I went with it and went rustic. Got married on bonfire night so had a massive fire with fireworks and a hog roast and it kind of worked as a theme. Tbh there weren’t that many options where my parents live.

Bring and share lunch?

Maybe not helpful, but if your family are all doctors and other professionals would one of them qualify for a discount on a university or college function room? Some of them are fabulously grand and/or have beautiful gardens.

That’s an excellent idea, @AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman.

I know, it’s crazy 🙈 we wanted to spend about 15, and probably got to 25 (including dresses and grooms outfit, accommodation night of and night before , we paid for bridesmaids dresses, so that’s all in).

We had a BYOB venue with NO CORKAGE FEE (you can google by this criterion). But it was a dedicated wedding venue with their preferred suppliers (although without accommodation on site). I would say that it worked very well for us - suppliers knew the venue, what works and what doesn’t. Biggest drain IMHO is the attempt to do your wedding unique/insta worthy/unusual - that’s going to cost! If you agree that it’s just a wedding and not beat yourself over some unusual decor you have much better chances of finding good deals (and second hand decor too) and keeping your sanity.

another massive area is little things (bloody favour, decor pieces here and there, table cards, argh). The plainer the venue, the more of that you’ll need. If you choose already pretty venue, you may be able to reduce this somewhat. Lots of stuff can be DIYed, bought second hand etc but you need lots of time and energy for doing that. There are tons of FB groups selling decor, lots of DYI stuff on Etsy eg templates for menus, programs, etc so you don't need graphic designers or whatever)

I heard that York House aka richmond town hall is beautiful, and as it is ‘registry office’ it should be a bit cheaper (we considered it but can’t remember the cost now)

of these locations, Id expect Cornwall being most expensive and Yorkshire the least. London can be convenient as lots of venue choice and no accommodation expense the night before?

i was particularly shocked by prices of wedding photographers and hair/make up. But I decided that in terms of priorities, I want a decent venue (but we found relatively cheap one with no corkage fee, I think it was about 3k venue hire), decent food and wine, good photographer - that were my priorities. I chose relatively not expensive dress; i paid well for hair and makeup (but not too stylists), but didn’t ask bridesmaids to do their hair and makeup so didn’t pay for them etc.
wedding flowers can also be very expensive… you can try to lower costs by going for green foliage/wild meadow/dry grass look.

Also I think we considered the Swan at The Globe Theatre in London

https://swanlondon.co.uk/venue-hire/the-balcony-room/

by the way I agree with other posters- if your family wants a big wedding they should contribute 🤷‍♀️ otherwise you’ll be spending your money on something that others but not you want

last piece of advice: WEDDING INSURANCE. We had one from John Lewis, best £80 I ever spent.
our catering company went bankrupt and we lost our deposit; insurance reimbursed that AND cost of new catering where it was higher than quote from first caterer. It literally was amazing decision

I went to a wedding last week in a church hall, where guests brought a dish and it was BYOB. Cost to the b&g were minimal!

Are you getting married on a Saturday - they really rip you off for Saturday weddings - almost 3 x as much as a mid-week one (and yes - I know - teachers can't come if you have a mid-week wedding in term time).

I moved away and had my wedding near where I now live. Everyone I wanted there was more than happy to travel to be a part of our day. A few people didn't come, and we weren't bothered at all.
I would worry about that at all. It was so nice having the venue local, I popped there a couple of times to see things and plan things.

I also managed to do it on a fairly low budget and people still say it's the best wedding they've been too.

We didn't bother with florist, I did my own flowers (good fake flowers). We didn't have a cake, we absolutely weren't bothered about that and we didn't do favours.

Just a few things that kept the cost down.

Have a think if there is some things you really aren't bothered about and ditch them is my advice! Don't worry about tradition.

My friends daughter got married in a village hall located in lovely grounds. Walking down the aisle etc. The ceremony took place outside under a canopy and then there was a buffet. Followed by traditional speeches etc. Dancing etc afterwards took place in the hall. They made their own favours and table decorations.
It was lovely and much cheaper than the hotel alternatives.
Perhaps you could consider something similar?
I think you should be able to find something you like within your budget, you just need to look beyond the hotels and traditional wedding venues