Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you get drunk in front of your children?

131 replies

HugoDarracott · 17/07/2023 18:29

I know drinking and children can be contentious but I'm wondering what is generally considered acceptable. Is drinking alcohol in front of children ok? Is it ok to get properly drunk? as in slurred speech, and a bit wobbly. Not talking very small children where their safety might be an issue but older primary age or secondary. So more about the example you're setting to them.

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 17/07/2023 18:32

Nope. Never have been and eldest nearly an adult. Alcohol isn’t a huge deal in our house. I’ll have a couple of gins or beers but never out of control or poor role.

On a night out without them a few more but always fine by the time I’m home.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 17/07/2023 18:33

Nope

PatrickGammon · 17/07/2023 18:34

I have two dc aged 10 and 7. They have seen me drinking for the first time about 3 weeks ago at a relatives birthday party. I wasnt drunk but I was way over the limit to drive for sure. I dont know what dc made of it tbh as I never drink around them. But I guess they could see I was having a good time and was sensible with it and with family who we trust. We got a taxi back home and they seemed to have a good time. I was sober enough to know exactly what was going on, what I was saying, where I was going etc and I certainly wasnt slurring my words.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education
charlestonian · 17/07/2023 18:36

I don't. Ever. They've seen me having a couple of glasses of wine with friends or my husband but nothing more. And I really like a good session occasionally!

I grew up with parents who were "heavy social drinkers" and seeing them ratarsed on a Saturday night was the norm. All my aunts and uncles are like this too so every family get together, all the adults drunk while we all sat bored in the pub. WC northerners.

I had no idea that this wasn't the norm until I made a very MC friend outside school who said she'd never seen her parents drunk (we were about 15.) It was quite the eye opener.

Funnily enough this came up recently. I am having a reunion of sorts with my cousins and we are going for a curry and a few beers. I don't think anyone will be rolling home but I'll be having a few pints. One of my (heavy drinking) cousins suggested that she bring her 16 year old daughter along, but I've asked that she doesn't. No teenager needs to see their parents on the lash.

Brightandshining · 17/07/2023 18:37

I wouldnt get drunk to the point of slurring in front of my kids no.. ive definitely had a couple of drinks around them at an event before. I dont think id even be able to get that drunk around them even if I wanted to.. id be too tense thered be no point, it would be horrible.

liondreams · 17/07/2023 18:37

occasionally, yes. I'm not perfect. Then again it's not every single week by any means. Maybe a couple of times a year. Always hold it together though.

coodawoodashooda · 17/07/2023 18:37

No. I gave up alcohol at the start of this year. I drink af wine which I enjoy. My kids have a terrible father and I don't want them getting terrible examples from both of us

Brightandshining · 17/07/2023 18:39

My kids are both primary aged though.. so I dont know how id feel about teens. I think maybe over 16 I might be a bit more relaxed about it as I woukdnt be worrying about their safety as much. I worry about my primary aged kids if they are around even if someone else is watching them.

Lndnmummy · 17/07/2023 18:39

Never. I will have ONE glass of wine with dinner occasionally but never more than that.

Ostryga · 17/07/2023 18:39

Never been properly drunk in front of Dd. Do have friends over for big lunches quite often and we drink wine etc at the table in front of her.

Beezknees · 17/07/2023 18:40

liondreams · 17/07/2023 18:37

occasionally, yes. I'm not perfect. Then again it's not every single week by any means. Maybe a couple of times a year. Always hold it together though.

Yeah, me too. My DC is 15 for context.

PolaDeVeboise · 17/07/2023 18:40

Yup. We're party people, and they been used to us getting rather tipsy, twice a year (summer bbq and NYE party) from a relatively young age. They're stilll alive.

KingTriton · 17/07/2023 18:41

I don't drink much these days but yes, I have been drunk in front of my child, but it doesn't take much for me, I only need a few drinks. Having said that I'm still functional and act normally, although I feel pissed. I'm very aware of how I come across and don't act like a tit.

I've never been properly wasted in front of them. That's crossing a line for me.

Meeting · 17/07/2023 18:42

Wow I must say I'm surprised everyone is saying no, do none of you ever go to family parties and weddings where you're staying the night and drink? Very normal in my experience.

With that being said, I don't allow myself to get drunk to the point of being sloppy etc.

Bananalanacake · 17/07/2023 18:42

No, I've never seen my parents drunk, I grew up thinking this was normal. So I also will not get drunk in front of my DC. DH is TT, never even tried alcohol, I keep my glasses of Bailey's to once a fortnight when they are in bed.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/07/2023 18:43

Nope- my father was an alcoholic and I hate hate hate the British obsession with drinking. Being drunk shouldn’t be an aim or an achievement and hope my children never see it as such.

CatsSnore · 17/07/2023 18:43

I do, I love going out, having friends over, happy to get sloshed every now and again. My dc came to the pub with me when they were younger and would play with other dc in the play area and I'd have a few beers with friends. Alcohol is normal in my life. No I'm not an alcoholic. I like a few beers/glasses of wine, at times I've drank a bit too much. Once my dc (older teens) heard me being sick after being out drunk by my neighbours during lockdown and thought it would be hilarious to take a photo and send it to my dm. I find this funny, I expect I'll be called a child abuser on MN for that story!

mindutopia · 17/07/2023 18:43

I think people are a bit precious about this. I don't drink anymore, but honestly, I don't know anyone who doesn't drink around their children and doesn't on occasion get a bit drunk.

Are people honestly saying they don't have a glass or two of wine with Sunday lunch? Or a pimm's at the school fair? Or beers at a BBQ with their neighbours and families in the summer? Or don't have a few drinks and spin around dancing with their kids at a family wedding? If so, I roll my eyes a bit at that, because I may not drink, but I'm often the only person who isn't drinking in these situations, so I think people are virtual signalling just a bit. 🙄

We live in a culture where alcohol consumption is relatively commonplace. Now I may have my personal critiques of that, but I don't think there is anything harmful about children seeing their parents or other adults drinking in a healthy and moderate way (most of the time). I certainly don't know anyone who was damaged by that one time their dad had too much to drink at uncle bob's wedding and did the limbo.

Problematic drinking, that's something else entirely, and I think a separate conversation. But as someone who is sober, I don't look at my friends drinking prosecco at the village picnic while their kids play and think they have a drinking problem because they're drinking in front of their kids. I know what a drinking problem looks like and it doesn't look like that.

CatsSnore · 17/07/2023 18:44

Meeting · 17/07/2023 18:42

Wow I must say I'm surprised everyone is saying no, do none of you ever go to family parties and weddings where you're staying the night and drink? Very normal in my experience.

With that being said, I don't allow myself to get drunk to the point of being sloppy etc.

Same!

Original poster
HugoDarracott · 17/07/2023 18:45

Meeting · 17/07/2023 18:42

Wow I must say I'm surprised everyone is saying no, do none of you ever go to family parties and weddings where you're staying the night and drink? Very normal in my experience.

With that being said, I don't allow myself to get drunk to the point of being sloppy etc.

So my family visit but live far enough away that they're all driving so drinking is not really possible. DHs family drink a lot, but they all have excellent tolerance and never seem drunk just a bit lively.

OP posts:
DinnaeFashYersel · 17/07/2023 18:46

Drunk never

Tipsy a few times

StefanosHill · 17/07/2023 18:46

No I don’t

Ohmylovejune · 17/07/2023 18:47

Not drunk but Ive not been drunk since being a stident anyway. Occasional drink and as soon as the children were old enough would offer them some wine at dinner too. They didn't like it. Both grown up now and one doesn't drink and the other only a bit. Importantly they both learned to say no when they didn't want any.

ThatFraggle · 17/07/2023 18:47

@mindutopia

There's a difference between consuming alcohol in front of your children, and being drunk in front of your children.

The question is, what is 'drunk'?

Is it being above the driving limit?
Giggling? Slurring words? Falling over? Dancing a rowdy conga? Vomiting? Pissing oneself? Fighting?

People interpret 'drunk' differently.

Oioicaptain · 17/07/2023 18:50

No. Never. Both my parents drank heavily in my teenage years. I used to witness my dad being sick, being argumentative or crying, or worse. My mum used to lie and pass out on the sofa. It is absolutely horrible as a child to see your parents in that sort of state. You lose all respect for them. I have friends who go out and party and fall to sleep drunk on the sofa mid afternoon or wake-up, having been sick on the bathroom floor. It all seems very harmless to them, but if you happen to be a child witnessing it, it's vile. My sister is also now an alcoholic with terminal end stage liver failure. My parents set that precedent for them.