Do you get drunk in front of your children?

[HugoDarracott]

I know drinking and children can be contentious but I'm wondering what is generally considered acceptable. Is drinking alcohol in front of children ok? Is it ok to get properly drunk? as in slurred speech, and a bit wobbly. Not talking very small children where their safety might be an issue but older primary age or secondary. So more about the example you're setting to them.

Nope, DD sees me drinking a glass of wine with dinner or friends etc but never seen me drunk.

I don’t drink anymore but wouldn’t of gotten drunk in front of the children. A glass of wine of an evening models a healthy responsible attitude to alcohol.

Nope. My parents regularly were though. And one side of Grandparents. Very wealthy drinkers that lived in very naice houses in very naice areas, drove very naice cars. I see their attitude in the posters that are saying 'yes but it's not vodka...just 2 glasses of wine with dinner...it's what good hosts do....etc.'

I've been in therapy for decades. Admittedly the drinking was just one symptom of a really rubbish childhood but it's just another example of their shitty parenting.

this would be reported to SS if the child ever mentioned it in school

We are at the ages now where I get drunk WITH my children

Stop talking shite.

I am not talking shite

I work in a secondary school. I see these referrals. This would be a referral to safeguarding straight away.

The about of "minimalising" and "normalising" on this thread is shocking

Nimbostratus, You talk shite constantly, you are not the great knowledgeable being you believe yourself to be. Doesn't matter now many name changes or new accounts you make you can spot your posts a mile away.

SS do NOT get involved because a parent has a drink 'Maybe a couple of times a year' they rarely get involved with full blown alcoholic parents ffs.

the question was, do you get drunk in front of your children. There are people here answering yes, as if it was normal and acceptable. It isnt.

Blimey, half the people I know who get giddy at an afternoon BBQ / party a couple of times a year ARE teachers!

No. My stepfather was an alcoholic who died at 50 of the disease. I'm a recovered alcoholic and addict. I used to think my children didn't remember me being under the influence as they were young when I got sober, but talking to them now about it, it's clear that they do remember although they didn't know how to interpret it at the time. My oldest said he found it frightening and felt he had to protect the younger ones.

Children don't necessarily realise you're drunk, they just know mum or dad is acting strange and unpredictable. It's destabilising, even at the older primary ages. Imo.

In AA, it always strikes me how many people grew up around adults who drank and so learned early that alcohol was the way to feel good, to forget your worries. Not all of them - abuse is actually the biggest predictor of adult substance use disorder. But I'd say 75% of people I've heard tell their stories in AA. And I've been to a hell of a lot of AA meetings!

I appreciate this is a very personalised experience and will not apply to the vast majority of those on this thread as you're talking about social drinking not alcoholic drinking (although alcoholic drinking can also be mainly in social settings).

I guess, the point I'd like to add to the thread, is that children are more perceptive than we think and probably more disturbed by their parents acting 'weird' than we think.

I’m mid 50s and have never been or hosted a bbq or similar that was alcohol free ….. seems very odd.

I wouldn’t think twice to have 1-2 drinks in front of children, but I wouldn’t get drunk. I think being a bit tipsy at a wedding or party is pretty normal.

Bollocks. I am a SW and have been drunk in front of my teenage dc. Stop using SS as a way of moralising.

It's a safeguarding referral (or should be as just being drunk will not meet any threshold in any LA I've worked in) if there is drink driving with dc in the car, if money is being spent on alcohol instead of food, if the parent is an alcoholic who spends all day and night drinking (even then it would have to be proven that the parent is doing something to harm the child, is the only one responsible for the child and it's not a one off occasion).

Well we have plenty of celebratory occasions that are family orientated - so be default would be alcohol free. If it is an adult event it generally is in a restaurant or pub so yes drink would be there.

I am amazed at how many are shocked that it is possible to have a family event with out beer/wine. Ironically I am from Ireland which is correctly stereotyped as having an unhealthy relationship with drink.

I never did, but that’s probably because I always had a pretty low tolerance for alcohol, and would be throwing up well before I got to anything like the drunk and incapable stage. So I learned my limits early on, certainly by early 20s.

I’m always amazed by these answers on mumsnet! Would you really not have one drink in front of children? Most weekends my DH has a beer or two on the go at dinner with the kids, and when he’s bathing them. Currently to be fair I’m trying to cut down so normally have one glass of wine or gin when they are in bed, but if we had friends round for dinner of course I’d have a glass of wine when they were there. What about Christmas as well? I went to a kids party recently where there was a bottle of Prosecco opened for the adults. I feel like a terrible parent now!!! Come on there must be people like me haha

Ok, I’ve just re read the thread and concede that the question was, do you get drunk in front of your children, so if by drunk you mean slurring words stage then no, apart from once at a wedding maybe! But can’t believe some on this thread would never touch alcohol while their children were in the room.

I've skipped merrily through an empty street with the DCs on holiday (school age)... 2 glasses of wine will do that to me, and I naturally stop at that stage anyway. I don't want to go further (I tend to go dozy anyway) and I don't want to waste a day being hungover. It's nice to occasionally reach the cheerful glow stage.

I occasionally have a single serving (usually a couple of units) at home or socially. Heavy, habitual drinking is obviously poor role modelling and brings its own problems, but being too absetentious and moralistic isn't helpful in a society where alcohol is freely avaliable and a major social/ cultural prop.

No, I'm a MNer, I only drink water. Ever.

I'm not middleclass. I'm not in the UK either though, I'm in Ireland, maybe that's it.

Getting drunk in any situation is a big Why?? Why would an adult drink that the point of slurred speech ? And incapacitated??
Of course having a couple in front of your kids and remaining safe is good role modelling the French drink with their kids

I didn’t drink much when my kids were young, just an occasional glass of something with dinner.

They’re teens/adults now so they’ve seen us a bit drunk but we never get to the slurring words stage. That’s just sloppy. 😬

A third of French adults drink problematically or alcoholically. Pick another country.

A drink, yes. Tipsy or drunk? Absolutely not.