Do you get drunk in front of your children?

[HugoDarracott]

I know drinking and children can be contentious but I'm wondering what is generally considered acceptable. Is drinking alcohol in front of children ok? Is it ok to get properly drunk? as in slurred speech, and a bit wobbly. Not talking very small children where their safety might be an issue but older primary age or secondary. So more about the example you're setting to them.

Never slurring words or wobbly drunk. I've drunk (wine) in front of them and I guess been a bit tipsy as in I could 'feel' it, but still able to read a book, put them to bed etc... no problem. I tend to wait until they're in bed (or not around) if I want more to drink.

I think getting 'drunk' in front of kids isn't great. I think it could prove pretty scary to little kids especially if they see their parents speech and movement affected.

No never. I'm pretty much tee total but very very occasionally may have a drink on holiday..but one or two max. I'd be mortified if my DC saw me drunk.

This is what worries me, I think adults being out of control, slurring, staggering, really loud etc could be scary for children. And let’s face it we’ve all seen people who claim they’ve only had a few but their behaviour is still notably changed; children are very tuned into adult behaviours and atmosphere and what we think is just us being a bit merry etc could affect them more deeply. Nothing wrong with having a social life involving alcohol if that’s what you enjoy but I think keep it away from kids.

I would say three times I've been more drunk around my eldest son than I should have been - but he was probably too young to realise. Christmas, a wedding and a birthday party, so never when I was in sole charge of him.

I rarely drink at home and never to excess. My dad was always fucking drunk when I was growing up and I never want my kids to feel like I did.

What type of impact do those who never drink at parties/weddings/bbqs/christmas etc, think it has on dc? It seems a bit odd to me that dc are kept away from all functions that could involve alcohol to stop them being scared..

I only have very young kids but after constantly seeing my mum out of her face drunk and in some terrible states growing up and as a young adult, I would never do the same to them. A few drinks/tipsy yes but my mum would get to the point where she’d cry/get suicidal/fall over and hit her head. We do still talk and see each other but I’ve never forgiven her for that, never will.

Once. Ds1 saw me tiddly on holiday in Ibiza, when he was 10?

Never. They have seen me have a glass of wine I think on two occasions. Weddings I wouldn't drink as usually driving home, or if staying over would go childfree.

I grew up with parents in the hospitality trade and both non drinkers when they became parents. They hated watching parents be drunk around children so we never were exposed to it.

I have hopefully a healthy relationship with drink but really conscious that Children do what they see.

Can’t speak for everyone but for us;

We don’t tend to have weddings where young children are invited at night in my circle.
Adult parties and BBQs we either get a babysitter or just have 1-2 drinks each or sometimes I drive anyway as I’m not a big drinker.
Christmas is very child focussed in our family and not alcohol centred at all, we occasionally have a couple once all kids in family are in bed.
Also we just don’t have many friends or family members who would drink around kids. We have nights out with friends and we all get babysitters.

A drink or two yes, drunk, no. DCs are teenagers. We don’t go to that many parties and bbqs, lunches out and when we do one of us nearly always has to drive, I usually drive and DH will have a couple of beers but that’s all. It’ll be the same for most people there. We haven’t had a family wedding since the DCs were babies, and only the very occasional one of friends and one of us is usually driving. We’ll have a drink or two in the pub or out for a meal. We don’t drink at home much either. I don’t think we’re unusual in our circle, most of our friends and family are light drinkers or teetotal. Public transport is fairly crap here too so driving to things is the norm.

In my experience from my bartender days the average person doesn't actually know when they cross the line from sober to a bit drunk. It's not all about breathalyser results or units consumed, people have different reactions to smaller amounts of alcohol and tolerance changes with age.

Some people here say they only get a little bit relaxed or slightly merry but I guarantee to non-drinkers you seem drunk. Sure, there's degrees of drunk but don't delude yourselves that you have it together and are totally composed.

No.
I grew up with an alcoholic parent and saw them falling down drunk from a very early age. It was always very frightening, confusing & unsettling for me as a child.
Was totally normalised within the family as they were all heavy drinkers. I was labelled “sensitive” for getting upset about it and odd when I was an adult for not wanting to get legless.
I always said if I had children of my own they would never see me drunk.
I would drink but no more than two.

I don't have kids, but still remember HATING seeing my dad drunk as a kid. It wasn't frequent and wasn't to the point of falling over etc, plus my mum barely drank, but I just really hated it when he started to get a a bit slurry/ not able to follow conversations etc - it was like he wasn't really my reliable, 'safe' dad any more.

An awful lot of my friends and younger family (especially my brother and cousins...) seem to want to be the 'cool parent' and take their kids clubbing or to raves etc, getting drunk and even doing drugs with them and their teen mates. I think it's grim personally - who wants to see their mum or dad gurning their tits off on mdma or staggering around vacantly on ketamine?? 😬

No. I will have maximum 2/3 drinks if I’m with my children.

Absolutely not.

No. As a child, on the rare occasions I was around drunk adults I always felt on edge and scared. Even if they weren’t being aggressive or anything, just seeing an adult out of control and staggering around was quite intimidating. I’d never do that to my children.

My DM is practically tee-total, she had an alcoholic father and she left my alcoholic dad when I was very young. I remember at school aged around 13, one of my friends and her sister were laughing that their parents had gotten so drunk at home at the weekend, their dad had shat himself. They thought it was hilarious. I was silently horrified.

I frequently drink in front of my children but I have rarely been drunk in front of them.

I used to love going to the pub with my dad and playing outside with his friends dc, laughing at my parents doing those funny 80s dances at parties where they'd be sat on the floor etc, kids would be upstairs and we'd be having our own fun. My mum was always quite uptight growing up but at a bbq/party/wedding she'd be so funny. It was lovely to see, definitely not scary!

I suppose it depends on what type of person you are when you're drunk.

Never. How revolting.

Not drunk no - bad example and you don't have capacity to care for them properly. This is when most accidents happen.

No, I'd never get drunk in front of my kids or anyone else (apart from perhaps DH), but that's easy as I don't drink. DH has never been drunk in front of them either. It's a person view but I find being drunk pretty disgusting and unnecessary and I think to do it in front of kids will encourage them to think it's ok and to behave in the same way.

No but then I’m a recovering alcoholic (been sober 20 years so the DC have never seen me drunk). I struggle with understanding why alcohol is such a big thing in our culture. When the DC were younger they’d always be Prosecco for the adults at kids parties and I’d think it was weird that adults couldn’t interact / make small talk without a drink in their hand

My DC are old enough to drink now but don’t show any interest. Their dad doesn’t drink either and we’re honest about why we don’t.

DS is 9. Haven't been drunk in front of him so far. I remember being acutely embarrassed by my parents being drunk as a young child and am not hugely comfortable for my kid to see me like that at his age. Maybe once he's in his mid-teens I'll feel differently. Don't drink much but on the occasions where I have been drinking DS has been in bed and in the care of a babysitter.

People tend to run with the same kind of crowd as themselves as, so in my circle, if kids are invited to a bbq/parties then it is normally alcohol free. If people are intending to get pissed then they are childfree events, who wants kids running around when you are getting drunk anyway? Christmas in my family/dhs family never includes alcohol, it just has never been a feature. If there is a wedding that my children are invited to then they would be leaving before anyone got messy.

I don't think anyone has said if an event 'could involve alcohol' they would keep their children away anyway. It's more about how the parent chooses to behave around their child.

They have seen me happy drunk yes, but not out of control. Their father on the other hand.....🙄