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Original poster

What do you think if someone went to Oxford or Cambridge University?

202 replies

ephemeris · 17/07/2023 11:11

I've been genuinely shocked that some people find it hard to believe that you don't have to be posh to go to Oxford or Cambridge. I went to Oxford for my first degree, where I met dh who was doing a masters course. We then both moved to Cambridge when he did his PhD there.

I'm from a low income household in the NE, went to a shockingly bad state comp, and somehow fluked a place at Oxford in the 90s.

Usually people have no idea what university someone went to, but if it ever comes up and we mention we went to Oxbridge, people are a bit 🤔. I even had a colleague at work once, who told me it was my round at the bar because I must be able to afford it if I went to Oxford.

OP posts:
AvanGelist · 17/07/2023 12:48

I went to LSE, know loads of people who went there thanks to my profession.
Wouldn't bat an eyelid .
I would have been impressed, but having met a lot of idiots (including from my own university) all it tells me is that they are good at exams. Nothing more.

AvanGelist · 17/07/2023 12:48

*by there I mean Oxford and Cambridge.

RampantIvy · 17/07/2023 12:51

Barold · 17/07/2023 11:14

I just think they’re clever and/or studied hard. I never think it’s about having money.

Same.

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Higher education
Roastingcoffee · 17/07/2023 12:54

I would think, “why are you telling me this?” The rest of us don’t tend to tell people where we went to university, we just talk about what we studied. I’m in my 40s and find it so desperately sad when school mums etc engineer a way to drop in their time ‘up’ at oxbridge. Yes, love, but we’re all standing in soft play on a bank holiday Monday aren’t we?

Carleslireis · 17/07/2023 12:54

@Brexile thankfully very different now! Lots of welfare teas and getting therapy puppies in during exam term. And yes there is a crackdown on rape culture too - mostly via cracking down on problem drinking I think eg my college banned drinking societies, pennying and freshers initiations. JCRs and MCRs have women’s officers and welfare officers as well. I think young people are more clued up about consent generally now though - not that it doesn’t happen at all but I think the overall youth culture is different to the 90s, not just at Oxbridge.

yanak8 · 17/07/2023 12:55

I'd think they were bright and driven. One of my friends went to Cambridge and they talked of nothing else all through college as they were so desperate to get in. Another missed out on Cambridge by one grade (four A levels).

Another friend decided not to go through with applying after a disastrous interview at Oxford shook her confidence. She was convinced she'd be the worst there. I think she was wrong, but there you are.

AgathaSpencerGregson · 17/07/2023 12:57

ephemeris · 17/07/2023 11:11

I've been genuinely shocked that some people find it hard to believe that you don't have to be posh to go to Oxford or Cambridge. I went to Oxford for my first degree, where I met dh who was doing a masters course. We then both moved to Cambridge when he did his PhD there.

I'm from a low income household in the NE, went to a shockingly bad state comp, and somehow fluked a place at Oxford in the 90s.

Usually people have no idea what university someone went to, but if it ever comes up and we mention we went to Oxbridge, people are a bit 🤔. I even had a colleague at work once, who told me it was my round at the bar because I must be able to afford it if I went to Oxford.

I bet you didn’t fluke your place! Don’t be down on yourself

HaveYouHeardOfARoadAtlas · 17/07/2023 12:58

Quite a few of DD’s friends went for undergrad and none are posh at all. In fact the opposite, struggling for money and thankfully one in particular is getting financial help from the college when needed.

my nephew hopes to go in two years and I may be biased but I’d be amazed if he doesn’t get a place! Dd is currently writing her PG application for Cambridge and we’re not posh.

So yeah, I’d just think they were bright. Though when I used to chat to DD’s ex boyfriend who was at Oxford I used to wonder how on earth he got a place! 😆

Changes17 · 17/07/2023 12:58

I definitely think it’s about luck - whether that’s the luck of being born into an academic family, the luck of parents sending you to a school that knows how to get people into Oxbridge, or the luck of getting the right question on the right day. Yes, you can be talented and work hard - but lots of people are who don’t get to those places.

SirChenjins · 17/07/2023 12:58

That the likelihood is they went to private school (one of the more expensive ones…) and are from a certain background with connections. Their degree won’t really matter because those connections will see them right.

AgathaSpencerGregson · 17/07/2023 12:58

Roastingcoffee · 17/07/2023 12:54

I would think, “why are you telling me this?” The rest of us don’t tend to tell people where we went to university, we just talk about what we studied. I’m in my 40s and find it so desperately sad when school mums etc engineer a way to drop in their time ‘up’ at oxbridge. Yes, love, but we’re all standing in soft play on a bank holiday Monday aren’t we?

Well you know the joke:
Q: how do you know if someone went to oxbridge?
A: they’ll tell you.

yanak8 · 17/07/2023 13:00

Roastingcoffee · 17/07/2023 12:54

I would think, “why are you telling me this?” The rest of us don’t tend to tell people where we went to university, we just talk about what we studied. I’m in my 40s and find it so desperately sad when school mums etc engineer a way to drop in their time ‘up’ at oxbridge. Yes, love, but we’re all standing in soft play on a bank holiday Monday aren’t we?

This is true also. People generally don't share which university they attended even if they tell you what they studied for some particular reason.

LotsOfThingsToThinkAbout · 17/07/2023 13:02

King Charles managed a B and C at A level and still got accepted into Cambridge and Prince Edward managed to go to Cambridge with a C, a D and a D at A Level so poshness certainly used to help. Although maybe they got contextual offers 🤔

explainthistomeplease · 17/07/2023 13:03

They don't always tell you - tho I'm about to!
DS and DH went to one each of those places and it's literally the last thing they tell people. It always baffles me since I went to a very ordinary place!

So I make up for their extreme reticence and modesty

yanak8 · 17/07/2023 13:04

King Charles managed a B and C at A level and still got accepted into Cambridge and Prince Edward managed to go to Cambridge with a C, a D and a D at A Level

That's shocking Shock. I didn't know that.

CleverKnot · 17/07/2023 13:04

That we don't have much in common. is what I think.
Because people I think of as people most like me / best friends, didn't have a hope of going there either.
I'm thinking of personal attributes like confidence & definitely snobbery, & because I have heard some dripping snobbery statements from Cambridge/Oxford graduates.

Oh, and they don't know how to use a photocopier (long story).

Turmerictolly · 17/07/2023 13:09

They still don't encourage working - we went to the recent open days and this question was asked. Courses are too intensive and there is lots of financial help available for those from lower income backgrounds apparently. Not sure what the kids from 'just about managing' households do?

SnowyPetals · 17/07/2023 13:10

I think the reason it's thought of as posh is partly because it used to be, and partly because most of the Oxbridge graduates in the public eye are indeed posh (politicians, journalists, actors/comedians). And the whole Eton/Oxford/Cabinet minister pathway doesn't help.

MargaretThursday · 17/07/2023 13:14

I actively avoid telling people in RL, even if they ask directly because of the reaction you get.
I also tend to avoid that I have a maths degree because people react badly to that too. Only time I will mention it is if someone decides to patronise me, assuming that I know nothing about maths-although even then I tend not to directly tell them, more go into the maths until they're in over their head.

But when I was there in the 90s I knew all sorts of people from various walks of life-not everyone was a posh Eton type by any means, and I never really had much to do with anyone who was like that.
When I first arrived a few people asked where up North I'd come from, but generally from other Northerners. I didn't find people particularly interested in what school/where you were from. Eton was generally obvious, but other than that I generally wouldn't have been able to tell you who was from private/state.

It's interesting that people say they were put off by thinking it would be financially out of their realm. My siblings went to other unis and were very envious in the financial support I had.
I think it cost me vastly less then them because: 8 week terms (so lots of time for jobs in the holidays-and you got in before other places so you got a better choice), lived in all three years so I paid far less on accommodation then they did (I paid less than a 1/4 what my sister did in three years because after the first year she had to pay 12 months, whereas I was still only paying when I was there, and that was far cheaper too. And she was at a uni up north, so not especially expensive), and there were lots of grants for various things available. It was well known that if anyone was struggling to pay then there were plenty of ways to help, including for things like books.

There was, at my college, a lot of mental health awareness. I remember in Freshers' week one of my fellow mathematicians commenting that even the talk about the library had hardly mentioned the library, but had focused on if you were struggling/mental health.

RampantIvy · 17/07/2023 13:15

You need to get that chip off your shoulder @CleverKnot.
Of the people I know who were Oxbridge educated only one was privately educated. Everyone else just went to big standard state svhools, but just happened to be very bright. Not one of them was snobby or up themselves.

YappyCamper · 17/07/2023 13:15

Itisyourturntowashthebath · 17/07/2023 12:04

I find Oxbridge gradates are a bit like vegans, many of them let you know, repeatedly.

Yet you have no idea how many don't Confused

RampantIvy · 17/07/2023 13:19

I agree @YappyCamper.
There seems to be a lot of inverse snobbery/chips on shoulders on this thread.

I didn't even go to university so I have no skin in the game. I am just mature enough and confident in my own skin not to feel intimidated by someone more academic on paper than me.

Interestingly, Durham and St Andrews have more privately educated students than Oxbridge

Fizbosshoes · 17/07/2023 13:20

My immediate thoughts is that someone who went to Oxbridge must be really clever.

Although when I went to Cambridge I thought the town itself seemed quite posh. DD had a school trip to Oxford and she thought it was like hogwarts

wineschmine · 17/07/2023 13:22

I'd think they were very intelligent and motivated at age 18, and had a lot of support and encouragement.

And that often means coming from money.

BlastedPimples · 17/07/2023 13:22

I'd think they were really clever. and be happy for their every success.

But I would also wonder how stressful it had all been for them. A relative of mine developed alopecia after Cambridge and a colleague said she had a nervous breakdown after she was awarded a 2i instead of a first.