What do you think if someone went to Oxford or Cambridge University?

[ephemeris]

I've been genuinely shocked that some people find it hard to believe that you don't have to be posh to go to Oxford or Cambridge. I went to Oxford for my first degree, where I met dh who was doing a masters course. We then both moved to Cambridge when he did his PhD there.

I'm from a low income household in the NE, went to a shockingly bad state comp, and somehow fluked a place at Oxford in the 90s.

Usually people have no idea what university someone went to, but if it ever comes up and we mention we went to Oxbridge, people are a bit 🤔. I even had a colleague at work once, who told me it was my round at the bar because I must be able to afford it if I went to Oxford.

I think one of two things- they either come from families who have attended those institutions for generations or they got lucky. So many people with top grades don’t get a place, so luck plays a part.

Is it too early for post of the year? Absolutely nailed it!

All other non--work activities apart from sports teams were strongly discouraged

That part has definitely changed, @Brexile. They are more aware of students overworking and isolating themselves and the impact on MH now. I remember having a chat with my tutor in my first year and him asking which activities and societies I had joined, with the implication that everyone should be doing something. Rowing and the Union are still king though!

@Crystals35 that's a common misconception that old Etonians at Oxford are thick. Arrogant and nasty, yes - but academically they are held to a very high standard. The thick ones went to Bristol IIRC - no idea where they go now that even redbricks are regarded as prestigious and highly selective.

Harrovians were thin on the ground at my college. It was Eton, Westminster, Winchester, St Paul's, Repton... one time my tutor declared, after a bit too much port, that all Old Harrovians were liars. It seems that prejudice can harm even the relatively privileged!

*WandaWonder · Today 12:18
Itisyourturntowashthebath · Today 12:04

I find Oxbridge gradates are a bit like vegans, many of them let you know, repeatedly.
Is it too early for post of the year? Absolutely nailed it!*

it’s for this reason I’m coy to mention where I went and actively avoid saying. Equally, there are people
ive worked 20 years with and only know we went to the same Uni as Linked in tells me. It’s inverse snobbery.

its also pertinent to point out that the latest research suggests that school attended best predicts outcome in terms of job/earnings. Not uni. The sort of insider knowledge on careers and the connections/networks that come from family or the longer/more intense school experience were not afforded to me during my three years at oxbridge.

The thing is, when there was a genuine grammar school system and free uni tuition and full grants there was a lot of social mobility through Oxbridge. Lots of that generation (post war) went on to well paid professional jobs, benefitted like most boomers from the economic environment, and so probably seem 'posh 'to the undiscerning observer. There was also a much greater tendency for people to iron out their accents to sound more RP, so they didn't keep the regional or class signifiers in the way the speak. So the way things have panned out for the biggest cohorts of non-posh Oxbridge students does nothing to dispel the myth.

If they were telling me they’d been to Oxbridge other than in reply to the question ‘where did you go to university?’ I’d assume it’s because they think it’s a marker of them being very intelligent - and probably more so than the rest of us. It’s certainly what they seem to get taught when they are there, but IME is not always particularly true. I tend to think they were just lucky.

Totally agree.

But good for you, OP.

I live in Cambridge and consequently know a lot of people who studied at Cambridge and/or at other prestigious universities. They are all pretty clever but otherwise extremely diverse in terms of both background and many other respects.

I've never had the idea that people had to be posh to have gone to oxbridge, because my late DF did, on a scholarship pre WWII. His dad was from a family of Durham miners, had been a hired farm hand (think Thomas Hardyesque marketplace hireling) and then worked in a coke works.

Making blanket judgements about people based on one factor is silly and shallow.

@Brexile I meant in the distant past, (18th, 19th century maybe) not today. Today the students at these schools have to be as bright as any others who get in from any academic background.

From my sources, it seems not all who are at oxbridge are either minted or "posh"

The thing is, when there was a genuine grammar school system and free uni tuition and full grants there was a lot of social mobility through Oxbridge.

I’m not sure that the statistics support that. There was no halcyon day of equality, not least because entrance was by exam (which public schools were well versed in), required a seventh term in school (or did to give it a good go with adequate tuition for the exam) and included a Latin qualification. Oxbridge has got gradually more diverse. Too little though and too slowly.

Or doctors!

I don’t have to think as most people who went to Oxbridge tell you within the first few minutes of meeting you.

If you went to state school I'd be very impressed and pleased for you.

If you went to private school and work in my ("elite") industry I'd imagine that you're no cleverer than me (RG uni, state school) and probably quite a bit worse at your job but managed to get in more easily than me. I realise that's an appalling admission but it comes from years of experience.

Also, my father went to Oxford as a postgrad in the seventies. He went to a secondary modern school, with parents who had both left school at 14 with no qualifications (as was common for working class people of their time). Therefore I'd never make assumptions about someone's background.

😂😂

@Carleslireis It's good to know that MH awareness has finally reached the dreaming spires! In the 90s, it was pretty much universally believed that admitting to any weakness whatsoever would be severely judged and would most likely culminate in your being sent down*, which was a favourite threat of my tutor (the one who didn't like Harrovians). Thus, keeping up appearances was paramount, even if it meant hiding away in the vain hope that they would somehow forget you were there when they felt like making an example of somebody. There were also scary rumours swirling about a girl who couldn't cope with the workload and who was consequently sectioned and confined to a locally notorious mental hospital whose name escapes me.

What about the rape culture, is that still flourishing? Thinking back to everything we put up with, I'm amazed I didn't pack my bags at the end of Freshers Week and have done with it...

• sent down = expelled in disgrace

If it came up in conversation I would probably ask what they studied, about “don’t they have lots of funny old fashioned traditions?” and if it was Oxford some stuff about the actual city because I grew up near there so know it well (“did you ever go to the ice rink” type stuff).
I don’t really find where someone went to university that interesting. I am possibly more interested in what they studied though.

I'd be impressed, it's very difficult to achieve the required grades and takes a lot of determination.

I only know a couple of people who did go to Oxford or Cambridge, and both got there on merit alone. They were from perfectly normal backgrounds, state education, no social advantages.

I had a friend who went to Oxford, it wasn't a huge surprise, she was very clever she was not from a rich family. I was more impressed with DH's ex GF who went to St Andrews.

I would think that they went to Oxford or Cambridge University.

It seems that prejudice can harm even the relatively privileged!

Brexile you said in the same post that Etonians are arrogant and nasty - that’s no different to saying Harrovians are liars.

This.