How are people affording things atm?

[locomum83]

Bear with me.... I work 12 hours a Week, the rest of the time I look after our 3 young kids, DH works full time.
We can afford nothing at the minute, food costing us at least £700 a month (more than I earn) we run 2 cars as we live rural, and can't car share due to work commitments, our mortgage isn't even that much.
I'm looking at other jobs but we don't have formal childcare, just our parents, all in their 70's so not ideal, and to work more could mean having to pay childcare, so the extra money would be eaten up with childcare so what's the point?
this summer we haven't even been able to have any sort of holiday or even short break organised, we simply have no money left after bills, and often we have to take money from savings to help.
All my mum friends are chatting about their holidays to Disney, turkey, Spain etc, and their new build houses, etc.
My question... how do people do it?? Seriously, and not even people with really excellent jobs, those just with regular run of the mill jobs. Everyone around me is spending money, big money! And I have no idea how they do it.
Are people in debt up to their eyes, what kind of jobs are people doing? Maybe I can do the same! Really deflated at the moment and feeling totally useless.

Most hospitals are desperate for staff, you can bank where they ask you if your free on X or Y you choose, although you will have to have training which would be a couple of weeks approx.
Clerical , kitchen, cleaning, reception, medical records.
Minimum wage but still earning.

Well, with an awful lot of hard work and sacrifice.
I am a single mum of an 8 and 9 year old and I have been working full time (+) since my children were babies. I have spent many hours studying and have often woken up at 4 or 5am to meet study deadlines in peace and quiet. I have now been promoted in work three times and can afford my bills + a European holiday for the children this year (having worked an awful lot of overtime for NHS).

I may have more disposable income then some but I don’t own property and have no mummy friends to speak of (because I am always working).

I do however earn my own money and solely run my own household and my children are happy and doing well at school.

Life is about choices. If you are unhappy they work harder or differently and make some changes.

Ps. After this holiday, I am going to knuckle down and save some money for the ever elusive mortgage 😱

It sounds very tough for you at the moment. However you seem willing to take something on as long as it is flexible so here are some ideas:

• part time call centre work (good that you have previous customer service experience)
• become an Avon rep
• sell Usborne kids books
• offer babysitting
• sell anything you don't need on eBay, ask others if they want you to sell stuff for them as well
• sign up to do surveys and market research
• check other money saving and money making ideas on www.moneysavingexpert.com

Good luck!

We had four children, all close together in age. At one point they were all in nursery, and it was the equivalent of 50% of our wages, but it was worth it because our careers didn’t stagnate. (And neither of us wanted to stay at home). We also had a huge mortgage. We only had camping holidays in the uk until the youngest was 7.

Things are easier now. When they started school it was less costly but we had to move our hours around so that we could accommodate them coming home at 3. Most days I worked 8-3, then did a second shift in the evenings. When I worked away from the office, my partner had to adjust his time.

We have nice holidays now, though we have not been to the Maldives.

HI OP.
I know you live rurally. So do I. and there are a lot of wealthy people around me who seem to leave the house very early in the morning and come back after 7pm. I thought that maybe they have money but are "time poor" and it's true - I went self-employed (very easy) take in heaps of ironing and charge £40 for a giant heap. I will do one off big cleans. I went to the local church and they used a contract cleaner. I said I would do it better and cheaper that the contractor, they said yes. I design posters for people. I promote events online. Once you do a good job for someone, they will want to know what else you can do for them. I know you have your hands full, but maybe look on your doorstep and see if there is anything. Remember never to be too cheap.

Don't know how people are expecting you to do a grocery shop for 5 people for less than 700 quid!!! We are 5 three young kids....whilst their portion sizes aren't huge the nappies wipes etc that have to go in with weekly shop probably add up to food portion costs of adults. We are averaging between 900 and 1000 a month for groceries a month at the moment...and that's with us cutting back on out meat consumption and me buying meat etc from the discount section and putting in freezer. We don't drink that much either. I'm in a similar predicament workwise where I'm stay at home mum at the moment doing small amount of admin work at home for my husband but have been asked to apply for a couple of different jobs recently I'd love to go back to work but with added childcare we'd be minus figures instead of keeping afloat so don't let people make you feel bad about working less hours. staying home with your kids is also valuable amd can actually save a heck of a lot of money although people often forget that as we're so programmed to equate success and happiness with how much money we earn. I hope you find your way through in the coming days feeling the pinch isn't easy but as my dad always likes to remind me even though its hard 'now is not forever...and somehow we make it through'

OP, I haven't RTFT, just your comments. Have you applied for DLA for your ND children? My youngest recently qualified for DLA which has enabled us to buy more food he likes (sensory issues), take him out and do more activities with him, and get him some therapy. It's been a real help, and allows us to open his world up a bit, which benefits parents as well.

"There's bound to be someone who will pay you do do that remotely. Time to get feelers out.

I wonder if breakdown recovery services call centres are online." (sorry don't know how to quote)

I saw the AA advertising for remote call handlers only the other day.

Also Google side hustles and it will give you loads of ideas. Also experiment with AI which can help with ideas and even help with marketing and writing. There are loads of videos on Youtube to help with AI if you don't know how to use it. Everything is free!

Why don’t you Try versisure alarms and emergency plumbers they often have night call customer service jobs

Three kids. Completely Opposite shifts. Days / nights rotate. One finishes nights that morning one starts nights that night and repeat. Not fun but it means we don’t have to pay or rely on other childcare!

How do you manage sleep?!

Hi I feel your pain, you are not alone nor are useless. We are finding it very tough as well, we sold one car and I cycle to work a few days a week (which keeps me fit), I work 25 hours a week and hubby works 25 hours per week (so we don't have to pay for childcare).
can you join a credit union? Even save £20 per month to start. I have learnt to batch cook and it goes a long way, saves a lot of money. We have 3 kids. Could you not get your food bill down to £600 per month by batch cooking?

Most months at the end of the month we are broke it's terrible, I never ever in my life had to choose the cheapest thing to eat I used to just get what I wanted.

Saying that we can scrape the money together to do small breaks in Ireland, which is better than nothing.
I to was thinking of working more hours but then what's the point, I will lose out with my kids and I will be working to pay someone else to mind them.

I hope things get better for you.

Looking after 3 small children is far from useless. My daughter has 3 and it's never ending washing, cooking, tidying and amusing the children.
Could you meal plan and perhaps batch cook a little?
Children are happy with your time, parks, walking, outdoor games. Don't get caught up in what others do, it doesn't change anything.
Keep up the good work. I hope things become financially easier for you. 💐

Food is extremely expensive in N.I.

Don't have any waste. Make a plan to use up any odds and ends in a stir fry. Use the stalks of broccoli and cauliflower, and the inner leaves of cauliflower. Save stale bread for breadcrumb toppings or bread pudding. When I was very skint I used to make a savoury sort of bread pudding with bread cubes mixed with some veg, egg, and a bit of cheese on top then baked.

Only buy whole pieces of meat. It's a lot cheaper to buy whole chickens, whole pork joints etc, and cut them up yourself instead of buying chicken pieces or pork loin steaks for example.

Pastry from scratch is cheap and filling, for pies, pasties, flans etc (using some of those leftovers?).

Frozen white fish fillets (the un-named ones are usually Pollock or Coley, which is are great) go a long way in a curry or dusted with flour and fried.

Everyone I know with three or more kids is juggling finances at the moment.

You are doing a good job at home and still working a few paid hours. Lots of good advice on here about menus, shopping, working from home doing surveys. When my kids were young our holidays were visits to family. We bought a tent and had great short mid holidays to relatively local places. I would look at our friends and children's peers and wonder how they could afford the new cars, kitchens and posh holidays. Then I realised they lived their lives on finance. They got so use to debt. Enjoy the time with the children. Things will get easier.

They work a lot more hours than you. How old are your kids? Why can't you get childcare? If they are school age surely you can do breakfast and after school clubs? If they are pre school then surely they can do longer hours at nursery? That is really the gist of it, work more hours. I know of no one these days who work as little as that.

How do you spend £700 a month on food?
I have 2 kids and one is 19nearly 20 and I only spend £400 a month and that's shopping at sainsburys. If your kids are young you are spending far too much in food. I didn't work for several years when my kids were at school and we only had one income coming in. We ate pretty well and I cooked from scratch most days. You have the time do it as your children are at school and you only work 12 hours a week. If you are stretched for cash you have to sit down and think about where you can make changes.
You can go on holiday but you have to cut your cloth. I had a great friend who was brilliant at making things stretch and they were still able to go away on holiday.
Go to charity shops for clothes for all of you. I still do and I work full time.
Don't ever regret being there for your kids because it was the best thing I ever did and both my children are grateful I was always there . It will get easier but you have to sit down and think about where you can make changes for all of you

We live for charity shops also Vinted if stuck for specific items. I cook everything from scratch. Out biggest outgoings are food and fuel both of which are extortionate in N.I

I don't know how you manage £400 a month, I spend £1k for 5, including a 23&21yr old and a 16&13yr old. That doesn't include my penchant for red wine either.

She only speaks about her and 2 kids so presume it’s a family of 3?

I spend £450 for a family of 4 but my kids are younger so won’t eat as much as nearly grown adults.

1k though is high. That’s over £200 a week.

You have 3 kids which is way more than the norm nowadays, you run 2 cars and you work very part time. We have 2 kids, 1 car, work full time and very well paid job.
How old are your kids? Would you not be eligible for funded childcare? £700 is a lot for food, we spend about £400 for 4 and shop in one of the more expensive supermarkets and don’t really budget on food.

Could you sign up to be a food waste hero with Olio. You get to keep 10% of the goods. And if people don't collect everything you could keep the rest. It would help with your food budget.

I have to laugh at the assumption on here from some people that anyone who appears to spend money on holidays or whatever (ie nice meals out, cars, nice clothes, activities for the kids, coffee) can only do it as they recieved inheritances or are doing it on credit cards.

other people may earn more than you but you have no idea about their income: I remember talking to an old school friends parent when I bumped into them back home. They asked what I was doing for work and I said that I just worked in IT. He said he was surprised as they all thought I’d get a decent job earning lots of money: maybe as a teacher (I earned twice as much as I would have as a teacher. When visiting home, cousins will keep nagging me to claim UC or other benefits or tell me not to work over 16 hours: but I’m not even entitled to child benefit.

so, assumptions about other peoples income can be way off reality

But, back to the OP.

lots of people are feeling the pinch. Especially this summer. When arranging meet ups, friends have said they can’t manage and then advised on PMs that they are just skint. So, free days out seem to be the way of it just now.
Not everyone is having big holidays. The only person I know having a £20k holiday is my boss: but he has no kids, high salary, and has paid off his mortgage after a long career: not a bit of jealousy from me: he’s at a different stage of life: and made different choices l from me.

having 3 kids is always going to be expensive. And working 12 hours a week isn’t going to bring in a lot of money: so you’re being unreasonable to expect lots of fancy holidays at this stage in life . But as the kids get older and you get back to working full time; then you should hopefully have the money then to do holidays.

ps, batch cooking is your friend. And try to eat veggie for a few weeks: can save a fortune