How are people affording things atm?

[locomum83]

Bear with me.... I work 12 hours a Week, the rest of the time I look after our 3 young kids, DH works full time.
We can afford nothing at the minute, food costing us at least £700 a month (more than I earn) we run 2 cars as we live rural, and can't car share due to work commitments, our mortgage isn't even that much.
I'm looking at other jobs but we don't have formal childcare, just our parents, all in their 70's so not ideal, and to work more could mean having to pay childcare, so the extra money would be eaten up with childcare so what's the point?
this summer we haven't even been able to have any sort of holiday or even short break organised, we simply have no money left after bills, and often we have to take money from savings to help.
All my mum friends are chatting about their holidays to Disney, turkey, Spain etc, and their new build houses, etc.
My question... how do people do it?? Seriously, and not even people with really excellent jobs, those just with regular run of the mill jobs. Everyone around me is spending money, big money! And I have no idea how they do it.
Are people in debt up to their eyes, what kind of jobs are people doing? Maybe I can do the same! Really deflated at the moment and feeling totally useless.

Motor trade customer service

There's bound to be someone who will pay you do do that remotely. Time to get feelers out.

I wonder if breakdown recovery services call centres are online.

With 3 young kids, 2 cars and only one proper income, I think maybe you just have to accept that you're going to be financially stretched for a while tbh, unless you have the capacity to significantly increase your earnings. Maybe holidays etc will have to wait until the kids are in school and you can afford to work more?

2 FT well paid jobs. Mine is flexible and from home, I don't pay for childcare but sometimes have to work with my (young) kids in the house. Other times my husbands shifts means he is around. DH often works evenings and weekends which means extra pay with again no childcare as I am at home. I also have an on call part of my job which means I get paid while at home doing stuff with the kids/family and only occasionally have to actually respond to something. Only 1 car. Walk most places. Online shops to control spending. No cleaner or extra paid help around the house (so almost everything is DIY). Don't drink or go out very much. Use offers and discounts as much as we can when we do.

We claim benefits to top up my wages and help pay our rent.

You asked how others do it...

Thank you for the insight, this is actually the kind of info I was after, not abuse about why I'm working so little

We are not applicable for any benefit sadly

We planned DCs ages so that we only have one in nursery at a time, DD will be in school when DC2 starts nursery. I also work 4 days a week in a well paid job, and my DH works full time. We would struggle too if I only worked 12 hours a week or if we had low paid jobs.

I’m not sure anyone’s giving you abuse about your working hours, but you asked how do others do it and the answer is they work more hours.

4 kids here, we've both worked for the 16 years we've been parents. One doing days, one doing nights, one doing weekdays, one doing weekends etc. Easier now the youngest is at school as I work school hours doing cleaning for people in their homes now. But I agree with others, £700 for food is a lot, we don't spend that and our oldest 2 eat adult portions now! Try changing from brands to own brands, frozen veg for stews etc instead of fresh and write a list so you only but what you need. I buy everything in meals, so for example if I buy mince, I but potatoes etc to make cottage pie, or if I buy sausages I get the ingredients to make sausage casserole, it means I don't have cupboards full if stuff that isn't used

Olio was the name of the food app. It might be worth a look.

Oh and we bought a tent for holidays, much cheaper and means we've always had a holiday even when the kids were small and money was tighter

You’re not useless you’re a mum who is trying her best to juggle raising a family and working as many hours as you can to get the balance right. A lot of women work full time and pay out their wages all to childcare just so they can keep their career going. It’s not a one size fits all scenario with being a parent. For me personally my time with my children came before my career, so I chose to stay home with them and worked part time when they started school.

I don't think anyone is abusing you for not working more hours. On the contrary, I think most people probably recognise that, if you're a relatively low earner with 3 small children, it might not be cost effective to work more.

I think people are simply making the point that, if you have chosen to have a big family with only one proper income, and perhaps not a particularly high one at that, then it is to be expected that you probably won't have lots of money to spare. Hopefully that's temporary though, and you'll be able to increase your earnings again when the kids are a bit bigger.

I know all of the mums are talking about their holidays abroad but that is really not the case everywhere, some people haven't been abroad in years.

If you can do admin some nhs admin jobs let you work from home.

We live rurally but managed with one car as I worked from home.

I think some people can afford it because they’re both working full time and their kids are in school so they don’t have high childcare costs.
some use credits cards a lot for holidays.
some people book up holidays way in advance and pay them off over the year or even 2 years.
I get what you mean though, I do know a lot of people who are on quite mediocre salaries that are somehow affording holidays to the Maldives and when I look online those holidays cost in the region of £15k-£20k and it just doesn’t make sense how they’ve managed to find that sort of money, and these aren’t exactly lawyers or entrepreneurs, these are people that I know who work as teaching assistants and cutting grass for the council. Boggles my mind!

In the nicest way, OP - you chose to have 3 kids, that is expensive... you clearly valued having a big family more than holidays abroad.

You're not useless, sounds like you've got a lot on and are limited by location and your husband's shift patterns which I'm sure will have other benefits. I agree that your food bill sounds high. I've wondered the same about others tbh. I increased my hours/changed roles. Is changing roles/taking on additional responsibilities a possibility for you so that you can still do 3 days but earn a bit more? There are threads on here about doing surveys or maybe selling stuff. Is switching a bank account possible for a quick cash injection for a nice family day out? Does your husband use Blue Light discount?

I mean we’re managing by making totally different life choices. Only one kid, live in a city so can walk bike, one secondhand car we own outright. We earn a lot, but when we didn’t, we still consistently made life choices we could comfortably afford. If we couldn’t have comfortably afforded a kid, we wouldn’t have had one, because no matter how much you want them, everyone still needs to eat.

You could probably do your old job remotely, I'm in a similar job
My work is also really flexible with part time, we have people who work school hours, some work set days etc

£120 a week for four people is £30 each.
£700 a month = £150 a week for five people is £30 each.

God I shouldn’t do maths at 2.30am should I. Sorry all, it’s because we’re a family of five and I budget £700 and ours costs us £150 a week. I budget the extra so that I don’t get caught out on the months with five food shops. If you are actually spending £175 a week OP then I’d be shocked if you couldn’t get it down a bit but honestly probably not enough to go on holiday.

If your husband is a paramedic then AFAIK that’s a band 5 NHS job so he’s earning around the £35k mark? Plus 12 hours admin wage? You’ll find your combined income is quite short of the national average. You mind find your peers in the playground are making substantially more money than you, even if you think they’re not. Do you know what kind of jobs they do?

3 here. We don't have treats any more, bith work ft in reasonable jobs. No childcare costs. Shop at Aldi and have cut down on all luxuries, going out takeaways cinema etc. spending weekends gardening and watching tv at the moment but still going on holiday .two years of no holidays taught me that I need one for may reasons.

It's really tough with everything so expensive. One of the best ways to save money on food is to menu plan and cut down on branded products and expensive meats. Use frozen food to avoid waste and use it all up. Look up prices online and plan before you go.

e.g. monday, chips, eggs and baked beans,
Tues - fishfingers, chips, peas
Wed, sausage, mash, veg
Thurs - mince, potatoes, veg from freezer
Fri - Gammon ham, chips, eggs and veg.and
S at - roast chicken, roast potatoes, veg,
sun - leftover chicken and pasta

breakfasts
Toast or cereal

Lunches
Egg and soldiers
Ham sandwiches
Homemade soup

Cheap snacks
Rich tea bisc, custard creams, digestive
Jam sandwiches
Cheap fruit such as apples, bananas and tinned peaches
Value rice pudding with dolip jam or chopped fruit
Value brand ice cream or yogurts

Make your own ice lollies with any fruit juice, fruit or yogurts needing used up.

Bulk buy laundry and toilet rolls, again don't buy branded.