How are people affording things atm?

[locomum83]

Bear with me.... I work 12 hours a Week, the rest of the time I look after our 3 young kids, DH works full time.
We can afford nothing at the minute, food costing us at least £700 a month (more than I earn) we run 2 cars as we live rural, and can't car share due to work commitments, our mortgage isn't even that much.
I'm looking at other jobs but we don't have formal childcare, just our parents, all in their 70's so not ideal, and to work more could mean having to pay childcare, so the extra money would be eaten up with childcare so what's the point?
this summer we haven't even been able to have any sort of holiday or even short break organised, we simply have no money left after bills, and often we have to take money from savings to help.
All my mum friends are chatting about their holidays to Disney, turkey, Spain etc, and their new build houses, etc.
My question... how do people do it?? Seriously, and not even people with really excellent jobs, those just with regular run of the mill jobs. Everyone around me is spending money, big money! And I have no idea how they do it.
Are people in debt up to their eyes, what kind of jobs are people doing? Maybe I can do the same! Really deflated at the moment and feeling totally useless.

Why are you on mumsnet? And why are you reading posts about family life and the costs and stress associated with it, and considering yourself as qualified to comment?

It’s the equivalent of joining a site aimed at dog owners and then barging onto threads about dogs., just to tell posters that they shouldn’t have more than one dog and that you chose not to have any 😂

Sympathies OP. I am in NI too and I've checked how much we spend on groceries on my banking app as it categorises spending.

We are two adults and two children, one only a toddler. Used to spend approx £550 per month and now we average £750. That's including toiletries etc. we cook from scratch and don't eat much meat but eat a lot of fruit and some organic food. We buy minimal snack foods eg we buy big pot of plain own brand yoghurt.

Just wanted to post for all the posters wondering why your food bill is so high. Food is very expensive in NI

The "planet" might be overcrowded but honestly a lot of couples in Britain aren't even replacing themselves. My in-laws had two children, SiL has none and we have one. I'm an only child. So that's one child carrying on the line from 4 1950s born kids and 3 1980s born kids. Someone's gotta pay income tax in 2050. Every school in my town (9 or so) has scaled reception down from 2 classes to 1 next year as 2018 was the joint lowest birth year on record.

Glad I'm not on my own! It's ridiculous

If you're within travelling distance of Ballycastle there's a community hub there which is really taking off.

They offer breakfast clubs, subsidised lunches and stuff to entertain the kids (I think it's a few mornings a week) with the added bonus of a good run on the beach or the play park to tire out the little ones!

You can search for the community hub on fb or even Google it and I am sure details are there!

Mine are IVF. Even more expensive. 🤣

As so many others have said, we have one child. I think it’s a choice more and more people will have to make if they want a comfortable lifestyle. We both work full time too (which is easier to do with one child).

🤣🤣🤣 it's a good job we can laugh about it. The COL is wiping out everyone's family income. OP is not alone. We are now cutting out treats we would usually not see as being an issue.

Inheritance, working cash in hand etc. So many people in my workplace openly talk about partners working cash in hand etc, there must be a lot of it going on.

Lots of nice free beaches nearby at least!

Why are you on mumsnet?

Because it's a free chat forum and anyone is free to join in.

Yup! The issue is inequality of/access to resources globally.

In the last 2 years net migration has been 1.1m. That's the equivalent of 2 major UK cities. So I don't think there's going to be a shortage of tax payers any time soon.

I don't think people are saying she should have had less kids or should work more. she asked how other people afford it and those are the reasons. Obviously more children equals more cost in general, and definitely for booking holidays etc. Don't assume people are going on 15k holidays to the Maldives, just looking now (no Intension of going) but for a family for 3 like mine, it's more like 6k not cheap by any means, but not 15k either.

We have 1 car mortgage is fairly low because we didn't want to be paying a huge one. We prioritise holidays/experiences over having a huge show home. Ds is in school now so only holiday care to pay for etc.. once all the kids are in school you will have more childfree time to work and less childcare expenses, therefore more spare money

Consider changing your bank account for a free £200 sign up offer. You can do this multiple times a year. Sell stuff you don't need on eBay or vinted. If you have a car boot sale nearby, consider second hand toys and good quality clothes that can be put by for Xmas or resell on eBay to raise funds. Make use of free stuff around you like woodland walks, libraries, etc. Put a few pounds away every week and plan for next year. Enjoy what you already have. Entertain kids with cheap crafts with recycled material which will help them learn to be resourceful. Always meal plan and buy cheap in season fruit and vegetables. Always keep a few basic versatile foods in the cupboard such as beans, lentils, pasta and eggs for a range of cheap meals. Make use of your freezer and use up everything.

Yes that's true, I know it will improve just hoping to find some insight in the short term, as to how I could improve the situation

I don't think people are saying she should have had less kids or should work more. she asked how other people afford it and those are the reasons.

Exactly, it's also an issue of timing. Those with more children to lower incomes are going to feel the pinch quicker than those with less kids, and/or higher income. Ask the question next year, especially as more people come off mortgage fixes, and the responses may well be different, it will start impacting more people, sadly.

Oh please don’t feel bad OP. You aren’t useless at all, you have three children who no doubt need you. I think the answer is that maybe these people had family money? Or more help that allowed them to work when their kids were little. Or maybe they had better paying roles and worked full time. They probably wish they could spend time with their kids like you do!!! I think a lot of people are struggling, not just you. Chin up!

Working from home and flexibly has saved us a bit - less on driving, no childcare costs (mine are school age), can get a couple of hours done in an evening if necessary. Both DH and I are self employed but I know we are lucky to be able to do that.

Don't sell them, put them to work.
Can the smallest get up a chimney to clean it?

Your mums friends are baby boomers and probably don’t have mortgages anymore and aren’t affected so much by the change in interest rates. If anything they benefits from higher interest rates on their savings.

They don't have three kids...?

I worked as a waitress two nights a week and that paid for a supermarket shop once a week while my DSs were small. It doesn't sound as if that would be feasible with your DH's shift work but is there a local pub that needs some help? Otherwise, depending on your previous work, have you researched what might be available from home? More jobs are online these days so you might be able to pick up a few hours of evening work a week.

Have you considered being a virtual PA if you have excellent secretarial skills??

I’m in a very similar position to you. 3 children. 2 at primary and 1 preschooler. Husband recently went from self employed to a full time job and I work part time. My job is term time but I’m bank staff so no holiday pay or sick pay. That’s the season we are in. When children are older I will get a “proper job” but in the meantime I can’t afford the school holiday childcare to make it work. Have limited childcare, some family help. Our food bill is similar. We try and meal plan and batch cook. Our holidays are cheap and cheerful camping. Our mortgage is low and in 2 1/2 years we come out of our fixed rate. I’m arming myself with some home study now so I can move away from zero hours and into a contract position to prepare when then interest rate hits us. We have to carefully plan and budget monthly and it can be a struggle. The one thing that we don’t have is 2 cars. That is a budget buster with fuel, wear and tear etc. you are asking a lot of yourself. 3 young kids, a job a home and all the mental load that goes along with it.