How are people affording things atm?

[locomum83]

Bear with me.... I work 12 hours a Week, the rest of the time I look after our 3 young kids, DH works full time.
We can afford nothing at the minute, food costing us at least £700 a month (more than I earn) we run 2 cars as we live rural, and can't car share due to work commitments, our mortgage isn't even that much.
I'm looking at other jobs but we don't have formal childcare, just our parents, all in their 70's so not ideal, and to work more could mean having to pay childcare, so the extra money would be eaten up with childcare so what's the point?
this summer we haven't even been able to have any sort of holiday or even short break organised, we simply have no money left after bills, and often we have to take money from savings to help.
All my mum friends are chatting about their holidays to Disney, turkey, Spain etc, and their new build houses, etc.
My question... how do people do it?? Seriously, and not even people with really excellent jobs, those just with regular run of the mill jobs. Everyone around me is spending money, big money! And I have no idea how they do it.
Are people in debt up to their eyes, what kind of jobs are people doing? Maybe I can do the same! Really deflated at the moment and feeling totally useless.

One kid and one car.

All the people I know with three are looking pinched and not going anywhere but camping.

One kid, both work full time

£700 a month for food is a lot. Can you cut that down?

I try every week, I eat sweet fa, I have an 8 year old girl who would graze constantly! I shop at Lidl, as that's the cheapest in my area I'm in N.I possibly a bit more expensive here too.

It's less than a fiver a day per person.

how do people do it??

They work more than 12 hours a week for starters.

Food costs are ridiculous at the moment. Have you tried one of those free food apps? I don't recall the name, but I'm sure someone will know it.

I visit a community fridge once a week, but the too good to go in my area is really crap and usually only Greggs etc.

We have one child and both work full time in well paying roles.

I am useless aren't I? I know, I had a good career before I had my third child but just couldnt give the company what they needed from me anymore. I also had pnd

Living rurally is crap, I grew up rurally. It’s expensive and you have to be better organised.

I’m way past nursery fees and small children stage but it’s really as simple as we have quite well paid jobs, one child, very good at DIY and sewing and repairing, made some very good/lucky investments.

I have also haggled prices and asked for discounts.

My friend has three kids, last one was an accident. She worked for minus wages for about 4 years but it was worth it to keep her hand in. Now manager of the site.

It might not be easy to work more than 12 hours with three young children and her partner working full time.

I suppose some people manage it, but in my experience the children are often older.

By working more than 12 hours a week and only having 1 child to pay for basically

Maybe sell the other two then?

how ? I take all the overtime I can get, I work evenings, weekends, bank holidays , you name it. (and that's not overtime but my regular hours)
Your answer is right there.. you only work 12 hours yet have kids to support

Of course you aren't useless as looking after 3 young kids is exhausting but most families with larger than average families ( and without) need two full time wages to survive these days. Either that or work around each other which is what we had to do when our four were little. Could you look at nightshifts in a care home or residential unit. It's not easy with little ones, but it's what we did for many years to get by. Are you getting any UC etc that you are eligible for also?

You're not useless. You just made different choices. Which will pay off in other ways.

Are there any WFH options?

My husband works in the emergency services, so shift work often either sleeping during the day or at work all day, to pay child care for three kids would negate the benefit of me working more hours. And our parents are too old to mind all three and I don't blame them, I can barely cope myself.

Two cars (plus fuel costs rurally) and three kids is where the moneys going, and only 12 hours a week for the second income earner is where the money’s not coming in at the same rate. That doesn’t make you crap for not working more - sometimes it doesn’t pay to work more. If we had 3 kids we’d be much more skint, have less time to work and need to pay more for everything. Be kind to yourself. Ignore keeping up with the Joneses.

I work, wife is a SAHM. Two young children. We don't go too far, just have 4/5 mini breaks in UK/Ireland, half of which we stay with family. We aren't struggling but we aren't flush either. Having a budget with your ins and outs helps to see where it's all going. Running an older car and not having finance helps.

£700 a month for food sounds very high. Can you not have pasta more often? Potatoes and veg aren't expensive either. Cut some deserts and alcohol? Our food bill is around £120 a week and we eat well (half leg of lamb once a week, plenty of fruit for the children for example).

Id love a WFH side hustle for the evenings but haven't a clue what! I'm not skilled in anything in particular, despite having a degree. What kind of things are people doing from home? I'm a secretary for a church atm

Have you looked at whether you can get help with childcare ? There is Uc if you qualify, or free hours when they reach a certain age and I believe the government are increasing this funding in the next year or so. maybe leave one with your parents and put the funded ones in nursery using free hours ?

Sell two of the kids to a Chinese sweatshop going off these comments.

Could you find any jobs that you could do from home at all?

DH does IT from home. My job isn't conducive to WFH. Call centre maybe.

What did you do before kids?

Some days I'd trade at least two of them! Joking of course. Would love a side hustle that I could work around DH availability, not sure what though. What's everyone else doing career wise??