How are people affording things atm?

[locomum83]

Bear with me.... I work 12 hours a Week, the rest of the time I look after our 3 young kids, DH works full time.
We can afford nothing at the minute, food costing us at least £700 a month (more than I earn) we run 2 cars as we live rural, and can't car share due to work commitments, our mortgage isn't even that much.
I'm looking at other jobs but we don't have formal childcare, just our parents, all in their 70's so not ideal, and to work more could mean having to pay childcare, so the extra money would be eaten up with childcare so what's the point?
this summer we haven't even been able to have any sort of holiday or even short break organised, we simply have no money left after bills, and often we have to take money from savings to help.
All my mum friends are chatting about their holidays to Disney, turkey, Spain etc, and their new build houses, etc.
My question... how do people do it?? Seriously, and not even people with really excellent jobs, those just with regular run of the mill jobs. Everyone around me is spending money, big money! And I have no idea how they do it.
Are people in debt up to their eyes, what kind of jobs are people doing? Maybe I can do the same! Really deflated at the moment and feeling totally useless.

Most people don’t have 3 kids. That’s the top and bottom of it basically. I know it’s too late for you to change that now, but you asked how other people afford all that stuff.

Also for days out I just try cheap things like walks in woodlands, picnics, cheap tent for a break, paddling in the river. Doesn't need to be expensive. Foraging for nice shells, wild rasps, do nature crafts. Make use of parks and libraries etc.

Also save token from the sun newspaper for cheap caravan holiday.
charity shop or car boot sales for toys, clothes etc.
set a budget and stick to it.
Find cheaper suppliers for utilities or negotiate better deals.

By having 1 kid here too. 1 car. Both working FT.

We have three kids. We can afford to do nice things because a) DH is a high earner b) we only run one car and c) our mortgage is fixed at a very low rate for the next 3.5 years.

£700 a month on food for 5 people is actually pretty good going, we spend far more than that.

What's your degree in, @locomum83 ?

Its sad you've got a higher education qualification that many people don't have the advantage of but aren't actually using it. Not having a go at you, but just pointing out that you will have learned skills in that degree that you can start using, that are currently going to waste.

remote working is a game-changer for people to be able to wfh and fit in around family. Call centre work (insurance claims, sales, banks) is a possibility to explore surely?

Dang.
I’m in the States, but I read an article this morning that said inflation is higher in the U.K. than it is in other G7 countries.
I’m so sorry. Everything is so high here too. I can’t imagine struggling to feed children and the worry that brings.
I wish you all the very best.
https://apple.news/AZVKTJI_sTymWV_tS6RgpWw

Another option is public sector inc local authorities - very good about flexible working, and even if you start on the lowest wage, that's bringing in more income to your family than you're currently able to.

Some people have two full time salaries at £60k+ each and made a decision that to afford the lifestyle they wanted they could have only one or two dc.

The reality is one public sector wage and a pin money job can't really support a family of 3dc with two cars to have a 'with extras' lifestyle in the UK these days. You are thinking that most people are like your family and in reality many aren't.

@locomum83 are you absolutely sure you don't qualify for any benefits? Try the Turn to Us calculator here just to double check: benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk

We have 3 kids, I have many friends with 3 and both parents work. Yes we're all feeling it but we can afford a holiday too.

I work part time on health grounds. I know I wouldn't get PIP and struggle. No mortgage no debt plus sold the car as no longer needed. Ds works full time and pays the cost of his food and share of the electricity bill. But I am almost always hard up over the summer when my income is lower (self employment). Total PITA. Never go away and hardly ever a Chinese or McDonalds. When income is better I put it away for the weaker months. No life to be honest!

We live in a town, 2 kids, 2 cars, 2 FT professional careers which means the jobs pay loads (although horrible jobs and extremely long hours, so it’s a trade off tbh).

Top tip: Get a small dog then you’ve an excuse not to go away on a big overseas holiday! Plus you’ll have a dog, bonus.

We delayed starting a family until we had buffer of savings (bought our first house in 2007 right before the crash and we were on a very high 3 year fix which was sad when interest rates crashed but then we did well on the low rates era).

Also planned our family so have a big age gap which meant our finances recovered before dc2 arrived and also meant we only ever needed to pay for one in childcare at any given time. I returned to work when dc1 was 10m old but took 2 years off for dc2 and now I am wfh (finance manager).

We splash cash in some areas but not others eg shop Vinted but will buy overpriced fresh food at the local market and shops to support local business.

We do all our haircuts ourselves at home (my dd now age 12 learned how to cut mine in the “low stakes” era of covid lockdown and is now fab!).

We garden, walk and cycle for exercise, no time for gym anyway.

We haven’t done any major diy in a long long time.

Our biggest spend has been the new fox-proof walk-in run for our outdoor bunnies!

If you have admin and budgeting skills consider retraining in accounting. It isn’t very mathematical - you need to be organised, good with computers, logical, good at solving problems, able to hit deadlines. The money is good once you become experienced and there are still 100% wfh jobs out there, often with flexible hours (get the job done, rather than work 9to5).

We spend a lot on food but £700 is crazy. You need to lock at your food bill, is everything necessary? Wine, snacks etc
Your oldest goes to school so that leaves childcare for two. Can you get subsidied hours for one? Why would GP need to look after 3 kids? You could work when child 1 is at school, child 2 at nursery and maybe they chan help with child 3? Have a considered a childminder - it’s lots cheaper than nursery.

in the mid-term you will have to work more.

No one has had a go at you.

The people you're comparing yourself to - do they all live rurally, have three kids, 2 cars and one of them works only 12 hours a week with the other in emergency services? If not, there's your answer.

If any of them aren't working then chances are their partners earn more. I agree you should double check you're not entitled to anything benefits wise.

Where do you shop? I spend about £120 a week when both grownup children are home. That’s in Aldi or Lidl. We called in at Tesco for a few things last week and it was £140. I nearly died off.
We’re also rural. Our local coop is 4 miles away but I never shop there unless I’m running out of things. It’s a 35mile round trip to Aldi or Lidl and a bit of a pain but definitely worth it.

Also it’s worth menu planning for the week and only buying what’s on the list.

There are four of us and our monthly food shop is £520ish. Bringing your food bill down to £600 would give you £1,200 extra for a holiday. Nothing flash, but you could manage something.

I’m permanently exhausted.

Two kids but me and DH have always worked full time even when it was barely worth it when they were at nursery. I went back to work what’s considered early with them both, taking just 3 months off as maternity was statutory minimum.

We do have an overseas holiday booked for August, and another in October, plus have had a few weekend breaks, including Disneyland Paris at Easter, but you might eye up our holidays and feel envious but I’m eyeing up your 12 hours with envy! I work 60 hour weeks most weeks and feel like giving it up to spend more time with my kids and just have a break.

It all boils down to life choices.

Having 3 DC is your luxury . Your friends luxury is having less DC and more holidays. You cannot have both unless wealthy.

Lots of people don’t understand what it’s like living rurally. ‘Use food leftover apps’ ‘only have 1 car’ and ‘walk everywhere’ is just not doable where I’m from.

There was a good ‘make £10 a week’ (or something) thread running for a long time on here, lots of people making WAY more than that, but it’s actually a fair bit of effort. I tried a few things but it was a lot to keep up with. Paid surveys, matched betting, couponing etc. Have a look in the Money section.

Also, for a quick cash injection, I made £150 on vinted lately. Obviously not going to get you far but a nice little boost.

Again, MUCH more of a pain when you live in the countryside - I don’t anymore, and appreciate it would be way more annoying to send items if I didn’t have the drop off point round the corner from me.

£700 is a lot. I feed one adult and a hollow legged teen boy for £55 a week. Your small children must eat a phenomenal amount.

I have one ds, have always worked full time and used wrap around care.
I'm careful with money, cook from scratch, holiday in the U.K., only buy what I need,