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Original poster

If you were a Mrs....

144 replies

RebelR · 14/07/2023 14:41

I've been Mrs for 30 odd years. It didn't occur to me not to be when I married, although I don't know if I'd do it again now.

I'm now a widow, still Mrs married name. Starting to think about dating. I'm not really a Mrs anymore, I'm not a Miss and maybe I shouldn't but I really don't like Ms. What am I supposed to call myself?

Tbf the title isn't used often, mostly on forms. I was just having a little wonder about what I'd do when checking into a hotel with a new man 😆

OP posts:
Zebedee55 · 14/07/2023 18:22

Iwant2move · 14/07/2023 18:11

I’m widowed and still use Mrs. I was really upset when the receptionist changed my title to Ms without asking first. My GP changed it back to Mrs and brought it up in staff training. I don’t like Ms and don’t want to change back to Miss (Birth surname) because my name would be different to my children. Being widowed hurts and continues to hurt. I didn’t choose to change my marital status.

Nor me. I insist of being referred to as "Mrs". I didn't ask be widowed.🙁

tobee · 14/07/2023 18:49

I've always been Ms Birth surname. Married for over 10 years now. But titles seem so
Antiquated and I use my first and surname 98% of the time

StormShadow · 14/07/2023 19:09

Same, there's a definite societal move away from using them. All to the good.

CurlewKate · 14/07/2023 19:23

I can quite understand why a widow would want to keep Mrs. I honestly can't understand why a divorced woman would. Or why anyone would want to take a title that was dependent on their marital status.

DuesToTheDirt · 14/07/2023 19:42

Alongthe · 14/07/2023 16:44

We need to be like the Germans (and probably other countries) after a certain age, the Mrs equivalent is the norm. No problems.

I wonder about this though - do German women ever get offended when people start to call them Frau and they feel it's a comment on how old they look?

CurlewKate · 14/07/2023 20:01

@Alongthe But surely Ms is the British equivalent of Frau?

CurlewKate · 14/07/2023 20:02

@Alongthe In fact, it's even better because it's not age related.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2023 20:07

I wonder about this though - do German women ever get offended when people start to call them Frau and they feel it's a comment on how old they look?

Twinkly Italian, Cuban and other men still 'signorina' or 'señorita' me on the regular. It's the romantic language version of, 'is this your sister? to my mum.

CallMeDiaz · 14/07/2023 20:17

I always use Ms now wherever I can.

I don't see what my married status has to do with anyone or anything.

ImthatBoleyngirl · 14/07/2023 20:20

I'm 43 and I still think that Ms and Mrs sounds old 🙈🤣 I like being a Miss

Nat6999 · 14/07/2023 20:22

I'm a Mrs, been divorced 13 years, when ds gets married next month I will go back to my maiden name but will remain a Mrs.

Theraffarian · 14/07/2023 20:51

There was a certain time when Ms was only seemed to be used by very grumpy ladies that I came into contact with , and it really put me off of ever using it . However I did also once meet a fabulous lady who used Madam ( it wasn’t a working title in that respect ) who said she liked the raised eyebrows that it tended to generate , so that’s always an option !

IVFlife · 14/07/2023 20:53

I use Ms. I like it.

FinallyHere · 14/07/2023 21:19

what I'd do when checking into a hotel with a new man

Use your first plus family name.

Why would a hotel (or any where else) need to refer to you by a title.

Anyone foolish enough to insist in the face of the evidence, give a silly title. Very reverend works very well for this purpose.

ItsMyUkelele · 14/07/2023 21:36

I don't like Ms.

I went back to Miss Maiden Name when I got divorced.

Oncemoreunderthebridge · 15/07/2023 05:22

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2023 20:07

I wonder about this though - do German women ever get offended when people start to call them Frau and they feel it's a comment on how old they look?

Twinkly Italian, Cuban and other men still 'signorina' or 'señorita' me on the regular. It's the romantic language version of, 'is this your sister? to my mum.

The worst is when you have your back turned and they say "signorina" and you turn round ...."oh scusi...signora". 😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/07/2023 05:53

Oh no @Oncemoreunderthebridge

Not OK

OldTinHat · 15/07/2023 06:28

I was a Mrs, now a happily divorced Ms of 20yrs!

CurlewKate · 15/07/2023 06:50

It's OK to be irrational. We all are. But does anyone have a rational objection to Ms? If we have to have titles at all, why can't women have one which is exactly the same as Mr?

Rocknrollstar · 15/07/2023 07:44

I switched to Ms from Mrs once it became a thing. Now I only use Dr and so does my DH when he has to give someone my name.

freetheunicorn1 · 15/07/2023 07:50

Isn't it funny this is even a question in 2023, why do women still have to identify as their marital status. No hate just a musing.

Why don't you like Ms?

I would go with Ms personally, but nothing wrong with any option so just whatever feels right for you?

Bouledeneige · 15/07/2023 09:23

I have always been a Ms - when I was single, married and now divorced. Can't see the problem with it and frankly it's rarely used so barely an issue.

pinkyredrose · 15/07/2023 13:39

Jongleterre · 14/07/2023 15:38

I don't like Ms either. It sounds like a prim school marm who never married and lives alone with her 17 cats.

You say that like it's a negative!

WeetabixTowels · 15/07/2023 13:47

I’m never sure why people don’t like Ms. Is it the sound it makes? I’ve been a Ms since the age of 18.

pinkyredrose · 15/07/2023 13:53

Phos · 14/07/2023 16:16

I think people think of those who "No it's Ms actually" are being uptight, making a point out of being a feminist or make assumptions about your status anyway. I'd rather be up front about it. I'm married or I'm not. I don't really care about the possession argument.

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Why's it so important to you that people know if you're married or not?