If you were a Mrs....

[RebelR]

I've been Mrs for 30 odd years. It didn't occur to me not to be when I married, although I don't know if I'd do it again now.

I'm now a widow, still Mrs married name. Starting to think about dating. I'm not really a Mrs anymore, I'm not a Miss and maybe I shouldn't but I really don't like Ms. What am I supposed to call myself?

Tbf the title isn't used often, mostly on forms. I was just having a little wonder about what I'd do when checking into a hotel with a new man 😆

Madame X - much better for signing in swanky hotels

Ooh no - Madonna twerking 🤢

plus you get to wear That Dress!

But why on earth would you say "sorry"? It's them who should be sorry for assuming that Miss or Mrs are the only choices.

I just say either, "It's Ms," or "It's Dr" and then often they do say sorry .

All the teachers at my DD's (all girls) school are Ms. But the kids still call them Miss, as I imagine kids do with teachers who are Mrs at other schools . Although they would all be impressed with Countess. Maybe Lady?

@Phos "I hate Ms. I feel like it gives off all sorts of connotations to different people"

What do you mean?

43 and happily been a Miss all my life. Never had a desire to be a Mrs and don't like the sound of Ms.

Mrs is Mistress - this would be even better !

Maybe the married ladies should go by Goodie again.

Divorced and single Ms here (and living with my cats thank you!)

I hate when DCs school automatically called me Mrs. It actually makes me shudder after leaving his dad for DV.

Elderly aunt Claire is unmarried and a Miss who is alway bemused at becoming suddenly married when in hospital/doctors etc. I have more than once exclaimed "OMG Aunt Claire have you got married as well as having a new hip!"

The last tradesman (I didn't use) asked for my title (for no good reason really as he already had my first name). When I answered Ms he asked how to spell it and then asked what it meant. I (almost) said it means it's none of your business mate!!

I reckon she means people will think you're a lesbian a là the era of 1983 🙄

I'd still be a Mrs if my DH died, so I'd still call myself Mrs xxxxx if I got with a new bloke until he married me.

And then I'd just explain why if ever I was checking in somewhere by saying something like "don't worry we're not having an affair, I'm a widow and this is my deceased husbands surname".

Some of these answers are hilarious.
OP you can use Mrs if you want to. My mum did after divorce (and you are not divorced). I personally hate Ms, but some like it which is fine.
Love some of the alternatives on offer here. But going through a 7 year medical degree or ordination seems quite extreme 😂

My DM stayed Mrs. I think I would too, as I don’t like Ms.

Similar to many of you, I can't stand Mrs and always correct anyone who says it. I called myself Ms for years but so many people seem to mishear it that I've started calling myself Miss. I think you can do what you like.

Mrs is a weird word/non-word too. And Ms has the advantage of not rhyming with piss or pisses. Though I don't know your surname so can't comment there.

I am a widow, but still use Mrs Boom because of the children. Never even considered changing it to be honest.
When I introduce myself with new boyfriend introduce myself as Red Boom

I'm a Ms - married but didn't change my name, so no other title would work. I used Ms beforehand as well as it's no one's business what my marital status is. Also I find Miss a bit infantalising for adult women (no offense to anyone who likes/uses it).

I had never thought what Mrs stands for, despite happily being one for 35 years. I go round with my brain closed I do.

Mistress is amazing, I'm completely satisfied with that. Henceforth I fully expect to be addressed as Mistress BettChetwynd.

Absent any evidence to the contrary I can only think of the following reasons to object to Ms.

1. It makes it difficult to tell whether a woman has achieved the status of "having a man" or not.

1. It might make people think a woman is interested in equality.

1. It means a woman chooses not to identify herself by her relation to a man so might be a bit...feisty.

Anything else?

I cannot fathom someone doing all the work to become a Dr and still choosing the shitty title Mrs to use instead.

I'm going to do a doctorate just to add variety to my Ms-hood (twice divorced and delighted I held onto it last time).

I think people think of those who "No it's Ms actually" are being uptight, making a point out of being a feminist or make assumptions about your status anyway. I'd rather be up front about it. I'm married or I'm not. I don't really care about the possession argument.

Not my first thought but actually I wouldn't want people to make that assumption about me either.

I've been divorced for yours but I've kept my married name and stayed as 'Mrs'. Just seemed easier.

Years not yours!