If you were a Mrs....

[RebelR]

I've been Mrs for 30 odd years. It didn't occur to me not to be when I married, although I don't know if I'd do it again now.

I'm now a widow, still Mrs married name. Starting to think about dating. I'm not really a Mrs anymore, I'm not a Miss and maybe I shouldn't but I really don't like Ms. What am I supposed to call myself?

Tbf the title isn't used often, mostly on forms. I was just having a little wonder about what I'd do when checking into a hotel with a new man 😆

I've been a Ms. since childhood and through one marriage and into another.

It's so rare anyone says it out loud that the sound isn't really an issue.

The problem with Ms is that, as per a PP, it's just a horrible word/sound if you ever have to say it out loud; it's so awkward. I don't often have to use a title, but do now select Ms. Marriedname on lists. Just hate saying it.

I used to be a teacher in a posh prep school, so I was Mrs. Marriedname there. There were no Ms's!

Your username seems quite strange choice then!

I joke with Him Indoors that Terry is the only man I'll be a Mrs. for. DH is bemused. I also didn't change my name either. But Pratchett is different.

But if they're taking your details for a form or something, this is usually followed by, "Is that Miss or Mrs?" so you will have to pick a title, or tell them to bog off. Even for situations where it has no bearing on anything.

My friend always ticks a different box on every form, or writes a different title if asked.

She has joined our gardening club with the title Archbishop. Nobody ever checks/questions it, so let your freak run free.

Just guessing that if you're signing in to a hotel with a new man you won't be caring about your proper form of address.

I select Rear Admiral whenever that option presents itself. In the meantime and if I were in were your situation I’d choose the Ms or no title option.

It does seem a little bizarre that many of us have been trying to make Ms universally accepted for 40 years and it still isn't. But "them" instead of "him or her" has become widespread in a couple of years!

I don't like Mrs (despite putting up with it for 30 years🙄) it feels like your the possession of a man to me. Men don't declare their marital status every time they give their name so I have happily embraced Ms maiden name since divorce and wish I'd stayed that all my life so that my children had my name🤦‍♀️

I hate Ms. I feel like it gives off all sorts of connotations to different people, I don't like how it looks, I don't like the ambiguity and I hated having to clarify "Is it Miss or Mrs" "Oh sorry it's Ms actually" - felt a right prick saying that. I wished I'd just gone back to Miss when I divorced, or even stayed Mrs and just changed the surname. Married again now so that's done with (but now I have a hyphenated surname which is also a pain)

felt a right prick saying that

I think it's worth thinking about why. Because it's pretentious? Or uppity? Or feminist? I embrace all of those so I'm fine with it!

I used Ms in early adulthood and for a couple of years post marriage and then changed my name (not sure why, I wouldn't and haven't done it again) and started using Mrs.
I've remained Mrs though divorce, subsequent marriage (didn't change my name again so was Mrs 1st H name) and into widowhood.
It is now 6y since DH died and I've been seeing my current partner for the last 5y.

TBH I rarely use it because there is no need, but when I have to add a title that's what I use.

I went from Miss to Ms to Dr. I never used Mrs as I didn't change my name and so it felt weird to have the same name as my mum!

I don't like Ms either. It sounds like a prim school marm who never married and lives alone with her 17 cats.

It doesn't answer the OP's question, but it's generally me who books hotels etc. so we always get called "Mr & Mrs mummysalwaysright" even though we are not married and I'm a Miss. DP doesn't mind. He's suggested before that we book as Mr & Mrs Smith so we look like we're having an affair. (We're not! Been together 14 years, and neither of us are married to anyone else).

Lady
And dare anyone to say you aren’t one 😀

I work in school so it does get said out loud and Ms is difficult to say/ needs correcting if you want people to actually use it.

The thought occurred because a divorcing colleague has advised us she'd like to be called Dr (currently known as Mrs) going forward and I thought I need something like that.

Are there any rules around inventing a title for yourself? If I was to start styling myself Countess for example. That might be fun at school. 😆

I don't understand why people think "Ms" is hard to say? It's not! It's just Mizz instead of Miss. I've always loved it, but that's probably because of reading a book as a child called "Ms Wiz" in which she explains why "Miss" is stupid for an adult woman. I was always Ms until I was Dr (which was after I was married).

However, as pp have said, you're a widow, not a divorcee, so if you like Mrs, no reason to change it.

@Beenhereforever1978 😂😂

I generally go with Ms. Nowt wrong with it and people tend to pronounce it “Mizz” which sounds fine to me.

What’s the issue with Ms? I’ve not married so far and have gone by it for my whole adult life - Miss sounds too childish to me. I am considering marriage though and realising that I don’t like Mrs very much! I was planning on taking DP’s surname but would it be weird to be Ms Hisname 🤔

@Mummysalwaysright I always get tradespeople etc I’ve booked calling DP Mr Bathtub too! Serves them right for not arranging stuff themselves haha

Why the need to change? Won't you still be a Mrs as a widow?

Why is Ms difficult to say and Mrs isn't? Americans have been sailing it without problems for 40 years!

Well I've never married, so that much is true.

Not prim, (being unwed leaves you free to pursue lots of un-prim activities!), not a school marm and am not too fond of our feline chums.

Or even saying it. Is it because it's what feminists like?

Yes probably all of those but I don't embrace them so I guess that's why I wasn't so keen!