A vent seeing as I can't show my real disappointment -school awards evening

[Teddypops]

DD is in Y7. All of her friends had an email about an award they were winning at school. The awards evening was this evening.

We had no email. She got no award.

She does quite well at school (generally grade 7 in the important stuff). But really doesn't put much effort into anything else other than her hair and make up.

She has no interest in sports or any hobbies despite us giving her every single opportunity. Nothing !!

I'm disappointed. But obviously I can't show it to her.

So i'm venting on here instead.

You didn’t have to say it, they will know that is what you meant!

As a teacher, Awards Evening is SO STRESSFUL. We are allowed 1 student per subject per year group, no repeats!

I don't understand why you would expect your daughter to get an award when you say she doesn't put much of an effort into anything apart from her hair and make up.

Like other posters have said, I'm surprised at a child in Year 7 being allowed to wear make up - my daughter's school never allowed any form of make up until Year 9 and then it had to be very subtle. But even if it had been permitted I wouldn't have allowed my daughter to wear make up when she was I. Year 7 - inside or out of school.

I mean this kindly, @Teddypops, but if she doesn't put much effort in and is getting 7s (which, while good, I am sure quite a number of other children are too) what is it that you think she should have got an award for?

If you had two children both getting 7s and one had worked her socks off and one was coasting which child would you give an award to?

If your daughter wants to win an award next year, she probably needs to put a bit of effort in.

Did you laugh like drains at her graduation too?

Try been the parent of a child with Sen’s who is bright but never attended one or unlikely to pass GCSE’s because he can’t focus.

you are disappointed it isn’t your Dd- you would not care if your child got an award .

I never knew it was award night till I clicked on fb and there was a proud parent . I would avoid fb then as I don’t need to see it., but equally let those parents have their moment.

the school really have better things to do that figure out stats for you to feel better your child didn’t get one

Nah, it was all in Latin. I couldn't understand a word.

How many schools do awards night for Y7’s?!

These 'awards' are given to the insecure, and 'not terribly bright academically' children. The ones who need a boost because they're not doing great at school. And sometimes if they don't have a great home life, and no support from parents. It's to make them feel better, and encourage them when they're not very good at anything...

The cleverer, more academic children who do really well and score high in everything, are not given much, as it's felt they don't need a 'boost.'

Really unfair and wrong of course, but then a lot of stuff the schools put parents AND children through is.

It's a bit like when all the little shits and disruptive children who are naughty, and display bad behaviour, get treats and rewards for 'good behaviour.' The children who are always good get fuck all.

HTH @Teddypops

The first I knew about awards night was reading about it after the event in the newsletter.
Not only did my DS not win an award, he didn't even deem this fact worthy of a mention nor tell if any of his mates got one. Does you DD even care?
I think it would be good for her to care about things other than hair and makeup but it certainly doesn't need to be awards night.

Is your disappointment because you can't add to people's comments on social media? Or brag yourself?

Oh nothing at all.
Equal number of 12 year old girls and boys care about makeup.
Really? Can't we accept that there are certain behaviours that are more common in girls than boys (while acknowledging that of course some 12 year old boys will want to wear makeup)?

DD didn't get a single award or even housepoint (or whatever they're called now) for her entire school career. She came top of the entire school in her GCSEs though...

My DC still is still bitter over the Y11 awards - 9 A* at GCSE, but only those scoring 10 or more got a mention.
A decade later and despite a number of awards at Uni and enjoying a great career, I think the slight will be taken to the grave.

It's all complete rubbish.
I won award for best party dress at a school Xmas party when l was about 8 years old, the teacher didn't realise l heard her tell the vicar who was giving out the award to give it to me ,( she pointed me out to him ) because my family were hard up, my dress was second hand and badly fitted and some of the kids were asking why l always wore the same dress to parties. I will never forget even at that tender age the humiliation l felt.

Look, getting (flightpath attainment of) "mostly grade 7s in the important stuff" if she's predicted 7s & 8s across the board just means that she's bright, but not outstanding academically, and is underachieving. And by your own admission, she's doesn't have much interest or put any effort into her studies. I can't see what award you think she has earned?

Please don’t let your daughter comprehend your disappointment. Who do you want this award for? Who do you want to feel rewarded?

Is she upset?

Op does it really matter ? Not everyone can come top. As long as they are happy , healthy and not falling behind , that’s all that counts surely ?
Giving 17 out of 20 kids an award dilutes the achievement anyway doesn’t it -aren’t they supposed to be for the exceptional student rather than the majority?

Is it an independent school. We went through state secondary without anything like a prize giving or speech day. The only equiv was the GCSE certificates evening where everyone seemed to get presented with something

My Foster son plays cricket at county level, swims competitively for the large town we live in and was a county Aquathlon champion and his school cross country winner 2 years ago and that year he didn't win the Sports Award. It was given to a kid who helped the teacher tidy sports equipment up in his break time and was useless at sports. This was on the Awards programme as an ability award not an effort one. Foster son won 100 percent attendance and Class award for modelling good behaviour. He really didn't care about the two awards he won. He dumped them in the bin on our way out. All he wanted was to be recognised for the one subject he is good at Sport. When I emailed his PE teacher to ask how the other child was better at sport despite never winning any sporting event I was told Foster child couldn't win more than 2 awards. After that he refused to represent the school in any sporting event. Foster child told his PE teacher the child who won the sports award should be put into the sports teams. The teacher told him she couldn't understand why he said that. He just kept up his sports out of school.

No experience of secondary awards etc as yet. But the last paragraph of your post rings true about younger children.

My daughter talking about the star of the week awards her school do, per class “x got it because it is special when they’re good, it’s not as special when everyone else is good”. Said child is indeed, a nightmare.

I don't know any 12yos that do! Certainly not to school, anyway.

She might have stopped trying because she has never won an award.

I have 3, including a 13 year old. Yes she likes to look nice, but I would be sad if that was all she’s interested in. Certainly not the case with her or her friends.