Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

A vent seeing as I can't show my real disappointment -school awards evening

366 replies

Teddypops · 11/07/2023 19:16

DD is in Y7. All of her friends had an email about an award they were winning at school. The awards evening was this evening.

We had no email. She got no award.

She does quite well at school (generally grade 7 in the important stuff). But really doesn't put much effort into anything else other than her hair and make up.

She has no interest in sports or any hobbies despite us giving her every single opportunity. Nothing !!

I'm disappointed. But obviously I can't show it to her.

So i'm venting on here instead.

OP posts:
Kimchikitchen · 13/07/2023 14:45

Funny but also kind of sad when I recall that time of my life….

I was early twenties and in trip of anorexia but trying to keep it on the lowdown from friends (failing)

it was my birthday and they made me a beautiful birthday cake and presented to me at the end of dinner, which had been a real struggle for me.

So I said that I’d love to not cut it but instead take it back for when my family arrives the next day. Ride with insight but that’s anorexia.

anyway off I went with my cake and no intention of eating it. I got in my and shoved/squashed/Mangled it in to my glovebox.

Drove homeand forgot about it. A week later, I picked up aforementioned friends for a cinema trip. Friend in front passenger opened glove box to put book she’d brought me to read. And there… the mangled rotting homemade birthday cake they’d made (which I said had been utterly divine)

the horror when I think about it

Kimchikitchen · 13/07/2023 14:45

Such good friends though. No judgement. Just real concern

Kimchikitchen · 13/07/2023 14:46

Wrong thread!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Secondary education
Lalalalala555 · 13/07/2023 15:43

Teddypops · 11/07/2023 19:16

DD is in Y7. All of her friends had an email about an award they were winning at school. The awards evening was this evening.

We had no email. She got no award.

She does quite well at school (generally grade 7 in the important stuff). But really doesn't put much effort into anything else other than her hair and make up.

She has no interest in sports or any hobbies despite us giving her every single opportunity. Nothing !!

I'm disappointed. But obviously I can't show it to her.

So i'm venting on here instead.

When I was at school, I never won awards. They created this new scheme where people would get 'commendations'. I figured out that it was if you performed better than they expected.
(I was usually around top of the year/class and never had 'awards'). It can be quite demotivating to not be recognised when you see others getting it for performing poorer than you.

But you learn a more valuable lesson in this.
Do things for you. Not for the 'glory' of other people recognising what you do.
That I think is more valuable in long term, because along that path you're more likely to focus on what you want rather than needing praise.

:)
Good luck to your daughter.
I wouldn't worry about her hobbies ect.
Best thing you can do is make sure she is happy. And maybe set her up financially for her future by teaching her and saving.
She will change her views and likes so many times whilst she's a teenager and then in her 20s!

My friends at school, they all figured things out for themselves later in life. It'll be fine. Teenagers aren't adults. :)

NK572a3d19X11e7ef5ddf9 · 13/07/2023 16:11

Umm, first of all, rewards and awards are ridiculous, especially in secondary school, and our school thankfully doesn't do them, but really, what do you expect? Your child, by your own admission, has done nothing extraordinary, made minimal effort apart from doing her makeup, is not intertested in any extra curriculars and not, as far as we know, overcome any kind of adversity, what exactly do you think she deserves an award for??

Original poster
Teddypops · 13/07/2023 16:24

NK572a3d19X11e7ef5ddf9 · 13/07/2023 16:11

Umm, first of all, rewards and awards are ridiculous, especially in secondary school, and our school thankfully doesn't do them, but really, what do you expect? Your child, by your own admission, has done nothing extraordinary, made minimal effort apart from doing her makeup, is not intertested in any extra curriculars and not, as far as we know, overcome any kind of adversity, what exactly do you think she deserves an award for??

I've never said she deserves an award!!! RTFT!!

OP posts:
NK572a3d19X11e7ef5ddf9 · 13/07/2023 16:32

Teddypops · 13/07/2023 16:24

I've never said she deserves an award!!! RTFT!!

Show quote history

I did indeed read your whinge and it definitely sounded to me as though you were complaining that she had not received an award. If that is not in fact your problem, what are you complaining about then? The fact that you have a disinterested child?

Kimchikitchen · 13/07/2023 16:34

NK572a3d19X11e7ef5ddf9 · 13/07/2023 16:32

I did indeed read your whinge and it definitely sounded to me as though you were complaining that she had not received an award. If that is not in fact your problem, what are you complaining about then? The fact that you have a disinterested child?

Show quote history

She’s not complains about the award system
she’s not complaining about the school

shes complaining about her daughter and her disappointment in her

Hippyhippybake · 13/07/2023 16:55

My least sporty/ academic child won more awards than the other two put together. I swear she got an award once for a sport she didn’t even do!

sae3005010 · 14/07/2023 20:04

Your daughter shows interest in her clothes and makeup, that's still a skill she can use when she is older if she wants to work in that field. Yes, maybe she's not receiving an award but when I was in school I never earned a 7.

The fact shes earning 7's is more than enough to be proud about and there's no reason to show her any disappointment.

sae3005010 · 14/07/2023 20:11

Also, some of you moms' responses on here are appalling to be quite honest. Saying her daughter hasn't earned one. Receiving Level 7s is an A in subjects. That is way more than enough for a bloody reward! She's not, not 'making an effort' she's just clearly more academic than she is athletic and that is okay.

I feel for your kids if you're holding them to this high of a standard, being a teenager is already hard, let alone with the academic system behind you to also NOT have your parent cheer you on!

redskytwonight · 14/07/2023 21:15

sae3005010 · 14/07/2023 20:11

Also, some of you moms' responses on here are appalling to be quite honest. Saying her daughter hasn't earned one. Receiving Level 7s is an A in subjects. That is way more than enough for a bloody reward! She's not, not 'making an effort' she's just clearly more academic than she is athletic and that is okay.

I feel for your kids if you're holding them to this high of a standard, being a teenager is already hard, let alone with the academic system behind you to also NOT have your parent cheer you on!

It's not about the grades.

It's about the fact that OP says her DD doesn't put much effort in.

I'd be more impressed by someone who worked their hardest and got Level 3s then someone who got Level 7s without particularly trying.

mrsm43s · 14/07/2023 21:31

sae3005010 · 14/07/2023 20:11

Also, some of you moms' responses on here are appalling to be quite honest. Saying her daughter hasn't earned one. Receiving Level 7s is an A in subjects. That is way more than enough for a bloody reward! She's not, not 'making an effort' she's just clearly more academic than she is athletic and that is okay.

I feel for your kids if you're holding them to this high of a standard, being a teenager is already hard, let alone with the academic system behind you to also NOT have your parent cheer you on!

You are missing the point.

She's someone whose natural ability means she's predicted 7s & 8s. This means that by doing the average amount of work, and following a normal level of progression she'll obtain 7s & 8s.

She's coasting by Mums own admission and getting 7s in the "most important subjects", later changed to including one 8. Presumably below 7 in the remainder.

She's not putting the effort in, and is not achieving at the level that she should. That is not something that should be rewarded.

Hell yes, she's lucky that she has the natural ability to be able to achieve at this point without work, but unless she has an attitude change the 6/7 & an 8 in these easier years are likely to fall to acceptable, but very average grades by the time the GCSEs come round (think 4s, 5s and the odd 6). Perfectly acceptable grades, but not for someone who should have a full complement of 7s & 8s. She's already falling behind, and not achieving what she is capable of, and its because of her lack of effort.

bruffin · 14/07/2023 21:48

mrsm43s · 14/07/2023 21:31

You are missing the point.

She's someone whose natural ability means she's predicted 7s & 8s. This means that by doing the average amount of work, and following a normal level of progression she'll obtain 7s & 8s.

She's coasting by Mums own admission and getting 7s in the "most important subjects", later changed to including one 8. Presumably below 7 in the remainder.

She's not putting the effort in, and is not achieving at the level that she should. That is not something that should be rewarded.

Hell yes, she's lucky that she has the natural ability to be able to achieve at this point without work, but unless she has an attitude change the 6/7 & an 8 in these easier years are likely to fall to acceptable, but very average grades by the time the GCSEs come round (think 4s, 5s and the odd 6). Perfectly acceptable grades, but not for someone who should have a full complement of 7s & 8s. She's already falling behind, and not achieving what she is capable of, and its because of her lack of effort.

Show quote history

Is she just sitting class looking board or taking an active part in discusdions and asking questions

Bertietomo · 14/07/2023 21:50

What do you expect her to get an award for? Not working hard and finding work easy?

wheresmymojo · 15/07/2023 08:22

Just popping on to say that I didn't have any interests at school apart from hair and make-up and didn't win any awards.

All my friends were prefects except for me. I hated sports.

But I won an award at Uni and have won many awards at work since then and do a pretty well paid (nearly six figure) job.

So it isn't indicative of who they'll be as adults (and also no-one needs to win awards anyway...)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread