Today Temu thinks I would like to buy...

[PuttingDownRoots]

... colourful hats for chickens

Why?

Because a big hat wouldn't look right?

I’m glad we’ve cleared up the flaccid wheeled dildo

Omg who thinks off these things and also more worrying who buys it

Practically speaking those chicken hats would fall off as soon as the chicken pecked their first piece of food🤷‍♀️ although I realise now that temu is anything but practical! I hadn't heard of them till last week when I googled 'large dog toys' (for a giant retriever)........what arrived were tiny....... perhaps they were meant to go with the tiny hamster slippers and the chicken hats🤔

The ear hamster is the worst. For one thing, it is not immediately apparent it’s an ear and it looks very very NSFW. (if you haven’t seen the ear hamster, your brain is probably exploding right now - I can confirm it’s worse than it sounds).

When I was looking for a food processor, Temu offered one for about £25 that really looked the business. Thinking it could be worthwhile if it lasted more than a year, I called up the details.

It was 9" tall 😂 They have lots of very tiny pots & pans, too! Could be good for your fully-clothed chickens & hamsters, I guess, when they're setting up house (which Temu doubtless sells, too).

Still, I'm now the proud owner of two Real Leather belts and a Trendy Backpack because I was curious to see how bad they'd be for a total of £7.50.
Even worse than you'd expect, is the answer.

I'm slightly obsessed with the large tardigrade stuffed toy. I'll be honest, it's wasn't top of my list of cute n cuddly creatures to replicate in plushie form.

Also the padded bike pants which look like a fake arse for 'le bumsex'

This reminds of that scene in Chicken Run when the farmer thinks they're organised - cant find a gif for it though poor Mr Tweedy, he was right all along

Not Temu but Shein is trying to get me in the mood for (sorry it’s July..) christmas 🎄
Just what my tree will need this year 🐓

I would love that chicken Christmas decoration!

Temu is telling me I need miniature glass fish apparently. Not sure what for.

I did order a neck fan, an address rubbing out roller thing for post/envelopes, some feet to stop my washing machine dancing across the floor and an engraving machine the other week, whole lot was less than a tenner. Made me happy!

Ba-dum-tish!

Well as it turns out, not Temu but Etsy. And on closer inspection I think it may be a Capybara. Still looks absolutely obscene at first glance though.

V important for crossing roads

I wasn't into the whole Temu thing until I saw this

DH and I are planning to get chickens and name them after racing drivers - Max Verstapp-hen, Lando Nuggets, Kyivin Magnussen, Romain Goujon, you get the idea - so clearly they need helmets

My first order came, It's all good stuff, no poor quality from what we see. So I now have a new lunch box for work and Dd has some bits too.

It’s just the thought that there’s thousands of factories somewhere (guessing China?) where poor, exploited people are manufacturing and packaging up all this crap WE DON’t NEED. And they’re paid peanuts and probably think we’re all degenerates dressing up our chickens and in need of endless sex toys. The tons and tons of plastics and chemicals required and the container ships floating round our oceans laden with this tat! Sorry for being a downer - I do titter at some of the things I see. And I’m sooooo tempted by the cheapness and the storage items… RESIST!!

Shein suggested sandals for hamsters to me yesterday...

Cabbage Puppy.
Just what I need.
😂

I think I might need one!

I think it's very important that all chickens are dressed like a foreman on a building site at all times.