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Original poster

18 and pregnant?

153 replies

LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 14:02

Hey, so I might be in a very difficult situation. I was wondering about your experiences of being pregnant at 18 or similar age?? I don't want to give too many details, but I'm 18, and I think I might be pregnant. I don't live with my parents, and my boyfriends 17 and lives with his mum. Very bad situation for this to happen (possibly) I know. I'm not actually due on my period for another 2 or 3 days, but I have a strong feeling I might be. I stupidly sort of assumed I might be infertile as my mum has pcos, I have some symptoms of that but never been told if I have or not, and we never use a condom but he normally pulls out and nothings ever happened so we got stupid and he started erm not pulling out. I almost started thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was, but now I've been having pregnancy symptoms I'm regretting everything. I don't know what he would do, I think he would stay but he would want me to get an abortion as we're obviously not in the best situation and still so young. We've been together for over 6 months which I know isn't an amazing amount of time but we are inseparable, we're together almost every day and now he's started working we spend every weekend from Friday evening when he finishes to Sunday evening when he has to go back to his for work in the morning together, and when I go to college in September we were planning for me to stay at his throughout the week as well as this is what we would do most of the time before he was working anyway. It's a very strong relationship but obviously we're still quite immature and I love that we can be our silly selves together. I know a baby would change everything, and I'm not sure I want to lose this. Thank you x

OP posts:
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Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 20:50

Etoile41 · 10/07/2023 19:56

😂this 😂

?

OP posts:
Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 20:52

NortieTortie · 10/07/2023 20:38

I've been with my partner since 16 and got pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. 10 years on we are married and have another. It's not all rainbows and sunshine but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Take a test first thing tomorrow, dip in a cup (too easy to miss the stick!) and have a good chat with your boyfriend. Please don't make your choice purely based on what he says, though.

He might want you to abort or keep it and then you split up in 6 months, leaving you either pining for the pregnancy you wanted or a single mum. It has to come from you because you'll be the one guaranteed to deal with the consequences.

❤️❤️

Yeah I was thinking a cup would be easier, I might wait until the weekend to tell my boyfriend if I am as he's at work all week until Friday when I'm next seeing him so I don't want to stress him out midweek especially as it's a new job which he was already nervous about.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
PaigeMatthews · 10/07/2023 20:57

Mirrordoor · 10/07/2023 20:13

I had my first child at 19 and i wouldn't recommend it. I know 6 months seems like a long relationship right now, but it's not a long time to properly know a person at all and you are both still growing as people. You may change quite drastically. You shouldn't be making choices based on your current relationship imo as a child will be in your life forever whereas a relationship may only be fleeting.

I found it incredibly difficult. I had no money, no job, no prospects, no friends (they were all off at uni having the time of their lives and I didn't fit in with any older, local mothers) and became a single parent very quickly. It severely affected my mental health. My son's dad had also had a shit dad and talked all the time about how he'd never do that to his child. He lied. He coerced me into continuing with the pregnancy and then mostly stopped bothering with our child once our relationship ended. I would never have believed he'd do that until he did.

Having said all of that, I don't regret having my child young. I had another child 8 years later and I feel quite sad at the disparity between what I was able to offer both children. But I am now in my thirties and have cancer which has made me infertile. I am so, so glad I had my children quite young. I'm in a support group for young adults with cancer and most of the women my age hadn't yet had children and are deeply affected by becoming infertile.

Take your boyfriend out of the equation and how do you feel about having a baby?

This is such an important post.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy
Translucentwaters · 10/07/2023 21:00

I always knew I wanted to have a family when I was financially independent and fully ready, there is vulnerability once you have a baby and it can be a daunting experience even in the easiest of circumstances.

Etoile41 · 10/07/2023 21:01

LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 20:50

?

Show quote history

Sorry wrong msg and couldn't delete.
There is no perfect time to have a baby. My first was a lot earlier than planned and I wouldn't change her for the world.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

pambeeslyhalpert2 · 10/07/2023 21:11

Good luck OP xx

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 21:11

Just did one of the little strip tests and there is basically nothing on it the camera won't even pick it up, maybe this means I'm not? If I do a test tomorrow, how dark should it be at around 11dpo?

OP posts:
pambeeslyhalpert2 · 10/07/2023 21:16

Basically nothing or a super faint??

The digitalis aren't that sensitive so I'd wait until 14DPO if you can x

Mumtothreegirlies · 10/07/2023 21:23

I fell pregnant at 17 and had our daughter when we were both 18.
we’re still together and were together for 4 years beforehand.
Its been a very rocky road to say the least, a lot of resentment, hard work, exhaustion, emotion both up and down. It’s set us back financially and caused a lot of underlying trauma in both of us mainly due to not having family support.
However our daughter (who’s now 17) is the apple of our eyes.
I don’t think there’s any easy way out of pregnancy. An abortion can lay heavy on your heart and soul forever.
all I will say though that if you do have a baby young then focus on education and building up a good career as money will be the biggest factor in how successful you are at raising them and your combined happiness.

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 21:37

Tbf it's gone rly blurry when I upload it onto here but I can see it a little bit maybe?? I'm just confused but maybe it's bc it's at night?

18 and pregnant?
18 and pregnant?
OP posts:
suburbophobe · 10/07/2023 21:39

Barack Ombama has a single mother as his mum

You forget to mention his grandparents were very involved in his upbringing.

biggreentree · 10/07/2023 21:56

Hope it all works out for you OP, you sound lovely and sensible and am sure you will make the right decision for you. I had my children when I was 30 and I did really enjoy my life in my late teens and twenties travelling the world, going to uni, building a career, depends what you would like to do with your life. By the time I had my babies, I was really to stay out and return to where I’d grown up and didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything as I had done it all. Sending love x

Translucentwaters · 10/07/2023 21:56

I hope it’s negative and you can move on with your life.

Translucentwaters · 10/07/2023 21:57

My termination didn’t sit heavily on me, it was the best thing and thank god it’s an option.

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 22:06

I was pregnant at 17 and I had a really hard life. But it wasn’t because of my child but because of his father breaking me down and not having a lot of family support. I would do it all over again but cut my ex out of my life from the start and been happy. It would have still been hard but I believe I could have still had a successful life if I had done that. I’ve never regretted my child and he means more to me than anyone.

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 22:27

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 22:06

I was pregnant at 17 and I had a really hard life. But it wasn’t because of my child but because of his father breaking me down and not having a lot of family support. I would do it all over again but cut my ex out of my life from the start and been happy. It would have still been hard but I believe I could have still had a successful life if I had done that. I’ve never regretted my child and he means more to me than anyone.

This is what I'm scared of but I'm so glad it worked out well in the end for u x

OP posts:
Forestfriendlygarden · 10/07/2023 22:27

suburbophobe · 10/07/2023 21:39

Barack Ombama has a single mother as his mum

You forget to mention his grandparents were very involved in his upbringing.

Yes, I'm sure they were.

Just one example out of the history of single parent families who number one in four famlies in this countyr (ours being one of them).

Some of us have grandparents, we had them before they passed away, some of us make our own tribes.

suburbophobe · 10/07/2023 22:31

True that @Forestfriendlygarden

I'm a solo mum myself and also had help from my parents during half-term while I was working etc.

I also have my own tribe.

Forestfriendlygarden · 10/07/2023 22:37

suburbophobe · 10/07/2023 22:31

True that @Forestfriendlygarden

I'm a solo mum myself and also had help from my parents during half-term while I was working etc.

I also have my own tribe.

😀

No doubt single parenting is tough.
But isnt parenting tough anyway? And of course has it's joys.

Flashpoint potentially and for me personally hardest wasn't the toddler years, or baby years but actually the teenage years.

But to be fair that partly to be explained by G.C.S.E year coinciding with the panddemic. Heavens above, that was hard ,but still here we are and she is on her way to Uni. Yey

NeedToBookAGetaway · 10/07/2023 23:10

Get a first response brand one.

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 23:58

NeedToBookAGetaway · 10/07/2023 23:10

Get a first response brand one.

I just brought cheap ones as didn't want to waste money if I wasn't

OP posts:
Original poster
LEDshreddies · 11/07/2023 00:02

I was hit with a wave of tiredness about half an hour ago which is weird because I slept in quite late this morning, I normally sleep later than this so is just a bit weird? And I need a pee again which is also weird because I'm a weirdo and never need to pee more than 2 times a day (maybe because I don't drink as much as I should?), but I'm not sure if that's a symptom that would be showing this early or if that's later on? But I've heard people talk about needing to pee more being one of their symptoms

OP posts:
conflictedaf · 11/07/2023 00:05

LEDshreddies · 11/07/2023 00:02

I was hit with a wave of tiredness about half an hour ago which is weird because I slept in quite late this morning, I normally sleep later than this so is just a bit weird? And I need a pee again which is also weird because I'm a weirdo and never need to pee more than 2 times a day (maybe because I don't drink as much as I should?), but I'm not sure if that's a symptom that would be showing this early or if that's later on? But I've heard people talk about needing to pee more being one of their symptoms

Admit it, you secretly want to be pregnant don't you? Searching for symptoms.

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 11/07/2023 00:07

conflictedaf · 11/07/2023 00:05

Admit it, you secretly want to be pregnant don't you? Searching for symptoms.

Show quote history

No I'm absolutely shitting myself that's why I'm searching for symptoms !!

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 11/07/2023 00:26

conflictedaf · 11/07/2023 00:05

Admit it, you secretly want to be pregnant don't you? Searching for symptoms.

Show quote history

It's just all the drama and excitement of a thread. Very common.
Early pregnancy tests have really pushed these poor people out ... hard to build excitement of possible symptoms when you can just do a test before symptoms even appear.

Swipe left for the next trending thread