18 and pregnant?

[LEDshreddies]

Hey, so I might be in a very difficult situation. I was wondering about your experiences of being pregnant at 18 or similar age?? I don't want to give too many details, but I'm 18, and I think I might be pregnant. I don't live with my parents, and my boyfriends 17 and lives with his mum. Very bad situation for this to happen (possibly) I know. I'm not actually due on my period for another 2 or 3 days, but I have a strong feeling I might be. I stupidly sort of assumed I might be infertile as my mum has pcos, I have some symptoms of that but never been told if I have or not, and we never use a condom but he normally pulls out and nothings ever happened so we got stupid and he started erm not pulling out. I almost started thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was, but now I've been having pregnancy symptoms I'm regretting everything. I don't know what he would do, I think he would stay but he would want me to get an abortion as we're obviously not in the best situation and still so young. We've been together for over 6 months which I know isn't an amazing amount of time but we are inseparable, we're together almost every day and now he's started working we spend every weekend from Friday evening when he finishes to Sunday evening when he has to go back to his for work in the morning together, and when I go to college in September we were planning for me to stay at his throughout the week as well as this is what we would do most of the time before he was working anyway. It's a very strong relationship but obviously we're still quite immature and I love that we can be our silly selves together. I know a baby would change everything, and I'm not sure I want to lose this. Thank you x

Thank you xx

Should I hold in my wee as long as possible? Like go for one this evening and hold until tomorrow morning for best results? Is it better or pee on the stick or dip into a cup?

Op you have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy motherhood with someone that is old enough to love and support you properly.

I have been in your position and a termination was the best thing I ever did. I went on to travel, grow up, start a career and then I met a wonderful man and we planned a family once we had our home. I look back now and thank god I wasn’t sentimental or emotional and knew even at a young age this was not the right time for me. My life would have taken such a different path.

You have to assume he will leave, he is still a child legally and will struggle to support yoi op.

Get some counselling. Talk it through, but go into this with your eyes wide open.

Who do you currently live with?

if you are pregnant you need to make a decision on what to do based on the most likely outcome that you will be doing this alone.

I think if you’re already getting (very faint) lines on your cheap test the Clear Blue one you have will show up as pregnant if you tonight.

I fell pregnant when I was 18 and had an abortion because that was definitely the right decision for me at the time. I don’t regret it at all and know I made the right decision. My friend also fell pregnant at a similar age and kept it and she obviously doesn’t regret that at all. Let your boyfriend know when you know for sure and discuss it with him and hopefully you’ll both reach a decision, but ultimately it is your decision as it’s your body.

My sister had an abortion because her boyfriend was absolutely adamant he didn’t want the baby. She was more inclined to keep the baby. She regrets that decision every single day and they aren’t together anymore.

Whatever happens, don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Sending hugs ❤️

^^ *if you test tonight.

It's weird I feel like if I was single and this happened I would 100% go through with it which is the opposite what it really should be like, I know my bf and he is the sweetest most kindhearted person ever but obviously we are both still quite immature, him a little more because obviously I'm older anyway, and I have also lived away from home for a year now whereas he still lives with his mum (obviously), I think maybe because of what happened with his dad he would be more likely to stay than others but nothing is guaranteed and I would hate myself if keeping this at such a young age ruined our relationship, or even if he did stay, that it would ruin both of us and our potential. It's so hard

It was his decision much as yours (hopefully, ruling out coercion) to have unprotected sex.

I think I can see a line in the pics too. The clear blue one should give you a result if you took it now. Good luck xx

You are almost the same age, one year age gap makes little difference in your situation. I would not make any decision based on how this would impact your relationship. It is not guaranteed this relationship - no matter how great it is right now - will last, baby or no baby. You should decide based on whether YOU want to have this child, and if you have family to help you. Obviously do tell your boyfriend once you know the result, but ultimately it is your decision and how you feel about it. No one knows what the future holds, whether or not you will have another child. Some women prioritise careers and free lifestyle then end up childless and have regrets. There is really no answer that fits all. Definitely do think of birth control if you are not pregnant to avoid such situations in the future.

OP you’ve been in your relationship for less time than an actual pregnancy, 6 months isn’t long at all esp when so young.

yYou seem a bit more concerned as to whether the relationship will last than having a baby itself.

Personally I think you need to focus on whether YOU want a baby and then consider your relationship as odds are it won’t last and even if it did, look at the amount of women who end up looking after everything.

I am a child of teenage parents and I wouldnt recommend it. My much younger siblings have had a better life as my parents (mum & stepdad, my dad left after a year, SD in my life since 2) were settled and secure.
They weren’t finding their way while parenting them, they’ve had a much richer upbringing time wise, patience, emotionally, mentally, financially and opportunity wise because our parents were settled when they arrived.

I’ve done well in spite of my upbringing, but wanted more for myself, DH and DC (I have x1 and I’m pregnant)

I wasn’t neglected btw, my parents weren’t evil or anything, but ‘doing your best’ isn’t enough.

I wish you the best but maybe speak to someone - Brooks advisory, college mentor (what are your circumstances?)

You don not need a partner.

Women throughout history have been raising their kids as single mothers. Barack Ombama has a single mother as his mum .

Honestly with youth and vitality on your side, and pulling in support from college, family, friends you will smash it.

You may even be glad you did it early as many are.

Good luck whatever you decide.

And also as can be seen on here, much older mothers than you struggle with motherhood. Don't be put off.

I had a baby at 19. Like so many others here the relationship with his dad didn't last. Although we did stay together for another 5 years and another baby.

It's been hard, I can't deny that, and I'm lucky that I have a very supportive family. I've been on benefits for most of that time (although that's down to my MH preventing me working as much as anything). All my jobs have been in care, but that's what I want to do anyway. It's my passion and where my strengths lie.

If a 19 year old came to me and said they were planning a baby I'd discourage them. If a 19 year old came and told me they were pregnant I'd support them work whatever they chose to do.

But that said, I don't regret having my babies young at all. I wouldn't change it if I could go back in time.

Me and hubby have been together since I was 17.. you never know what the outcome will be with your partner hun.

Thank you for a positive story x

I know you’re being told you don’t need a partner and you honestly don’t need one - but it makes life 100x easier to have a loving and supportive partner.

I had a termination at 23 and it was the best decision I made - I’ve been with my partner since we was 16 and still together now so we’d been together 7 years at that point and we both say it was the right decision.

We’d of loved the baby and we could of probably made a good go of it but life would of been a struggle, why would we of inflicted that on ourselves when you have options.

Just go to the dr. Get a proper test done. If you are less that 5 weeks pregnant you could get a medical abortion which is just two pills you take at home and it makes you have a period. Nothing to it usually.

Have a baby when it's planned and you know how you'll cope.

If OP is pregnant, managing date nights will probably be the least of her worries. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have the baby OP, but it will be hard and there are a lot more important things that you will need to figure out besides 'date nights'. Your boyfriend and his family for a start. The chances are that they will not be thrilled at the news, even if BF is (at least at first), which could bring it's own problems. They may not be supportive and at 17, they probably have a fair bit of control over him. He lives with them, so sounds like he is financially supported by them - what if that ends? The logistics of running a home, holding down a job, the responsibilities of paying bills and the possibility of doing it alone, can really take their toll. There is a lot to think about, that's all that I'm saying.

I can see a line. I’d just take the clear blue one this evening, it will show if it’s showing on the cheap ones.
I had an abortion when I was 19, had been in a loving relationship for 6 months too but it felt like there was way too much pressure on us and we weren’t ready.
He’s my husband now.
We started trying again when I was 29!and had some issues and bad test results, took us 2 years to conceive again, and despite fearing I would never be a mother I still didn’t regret the abortion, we just weren’t ready.
We knew we wanted 2 and we tried again when baby was 12 weeks old as I thought there was no time to lose. Conceived first time remarkably - and everyone said you’re mad to try it will be too hard you won’t cope, your body won’t cope, your relationship won’t cope, financially you won’t cope.
I had 2 under 1 and it’s been HARD. But again no regrets.
I guess what I’m saying is you only know what you know.
Abortions are hard but sometimes right, babies are so very hard but wonderful when you’re ready, and if it’s something you want you’ll always find a way to cope. You get there, you just do.
Just do what feels right in your gut. You could book an abortion for 2 weeks times and just sit with that decision for 2 weeks and get used to the idea, you’ll know then when the time arrives and you don’t have to go if it doesn’t feel right anymore.
No regrets. You can do this whatever you decide, good luck xx

😂this 😂

I had my first child at 19 and i wouldn't recommend it. I know 6 months seems like a long relationship right now, but it's not a long time to properly know a person at all and you are both still growing as people. You may change quite drastically. You shouldn't be making choices based on your current relationship imo as a child will be in your life forever whereas a relationship may only be fleeting.

I found it incredibly difficult. I had no money, no job, no prospects, no friends (they were all off at uni having the time of their lives and I didn't fit in with any older, local mothers) and became a single parent very quickly. It severely affected my mental health. My son's dad had also had a shit dad and talked all the time about how he'd never do that to his child. He lied. He coerced me into continuing with the pregnancy and then mostly stopped bothering with our child once our relationship ended. I would never have believed he'd do that until he did.

Having said all of that, I don't regret having my child young. I had another child 8 years later and I feel quite sad at the disparity between what I was able to offer both children. But I am now in my thirties and have cancer which has made me infertile. I am so, so glad I had my children quite young. I'm in a support group for young adults with cancer and most of the women my age hadn't yet had children and are deeply affected by becoming infertile.

Take your boyfriend out of the equation and how do you feel about having a baby?

This

I was a really good mum to my son. But I know I would have been even better had a waited. I regret not being able to give him as much as I would have had I had him later when I was financially stable, more mature and had more life experience. I was still a good mum but I was essentially growing up with him.
Saying that, he's 26 now, good job, car, own house with his girlfriend and I'm immensely proud of him. But I'm so glad they didn't have a baby when they were younger because it's harder than you think.

@LEDshreddies have you taken the clear blue?

I've been with my partner since 16 and got pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. 10 years on we are married and have another. It's not all rainbows and sunshine but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Take a test first thing tomorrow, dip in a cup (too easy to miss the stick!) and have a good chat with your boyfriend. Please don't make your choice purely based on what he says, though.

He might want you to abort or keep it and then you split up in 6 months, leaving you either pining for the pregnancy you wanted or a single mum. It has to come from you because you'll be the one guaranteed to deal with the consequences.

❤️❤️