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Original poster

18 and pregnant?

153 replies

LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 14:02

Hey, so I might be in a very difficult situation. I was wondering about your experiences of being pregnant at 18 or similar age?? I don't want to give too many details, but I'm 18, and I think I might be pregnant. I don't live with my parents, and my boyfriends 17 and lives with his mum. Very bad situation for this to happen (possibly) I know. I'm not actually due on my period for another 2 or 3 days, but I have a strong feeling I might be. I stupidly sort of assumed I might be infertile as my mum has pcos, I have some symptoms of that but never been told if I have or not, and we never use a condom but he normally pulls out and nothings ever happened so we got stupid and he started erm not pulling out. I almost started thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was, but now I've been having pregnancy symptoms I'm regretting everything. I don't know what he would do, I think he would stay but he would want me to get an abortion as we're obviously not in the best situation and still so young. We've been together for over 6 months which I know isn't an amazing amount of time but we are inseparable, we're together almost every day and now he's started working we spend every weekend from Friday evening when he finishes to Sunday evening when he has to go back to his for work in the morning together, and when I go to college in September we were planning for me to stay at his throughout the week as well as this is what we would do most of the time before he was working anyway. It's a very strong relationship but obviously we're still quite immature and I love that we can be our silly selves together. I know a baby would change everything, and I'm not sure I want to lose this. Thank you x

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
AllOfThemWitches · 10/07/2023 15:41

Oh and like others here, I'm long separated from her dad.

ithobsnnwnma · 10/07/2023 15:41

Oh op, thinking of you. Jane you down the test yet? Xxx

Hibiscrubbed · 10/07/2023 15:47

Get an early test. Then make your decision. You likely are. You played a very silly game with contraception, unless you were trying to get pregnant.

Brace yourself for a 17 year old boy running for the hills and having to do it alone.

Do you live alone? Do you work?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy
MammaTo · 10/07/2023 15:50

Having just recently had a baby who’s now 6 months old please think seriously about your decisions.
I’m 32 and having this baby has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, you 100% NEED a partner who’s going to drop everything to help you. It’s a relentless job and there is zero down time. There’s currently a thread going about how hard having a baby is. Terminations are nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and your boyfriend. A baby would mean probably no holidays abroad, travelling, lovely meals out and date nights fee an far between for a while.
Please think seriously about it.

HopefulP · 10/07/2023 15:58

IMO-My mum had me when she was 17, she dropped everything career wise to raise me, went on to have 3 more kids.

This might be your only chance at having a kid, your life will not stop it will only get more difficult ie with your decisions you make through out and you'll have to put your child first before yourself.

Life doesn't stop, you can still go on your date nights, you can still go on holiday but it will just be a little different than expected if your pregnant you'll just have a wee baby with you to make those memories 🥰

I'm not saying it's not going to be hard, your date nights might just be a little date night in the house ect, but I'm sure it'll be worth it in the long run🥺❤️

NotmyRLname · 10/07/2023 16:02

Get some counselling and talk it through. For what it’s worth I was an 18 year old mum and it was hard.they are teenagers now. I love my children but I’ve missed out on a lot of “growing” if that makes
sense- the time I could have had working on myself. I don’t regret it but it means I’m having a job to catch up now- I had to put so much on the back burner. I was with the kids dad for a long time but it was a toxic relationship and I didn’t even know it was because of how inexperienced I was. I also had a termination two years ago and I haven’t regretted it. One quote I saw was someone saying about how her abortion was a form of self care for her and that resonated with me.
But it’s your choice and not one to make lightly. Hugs xx

Cheezecake · 10/07/2023 16:03

I would caution you that you are still very early on in the relationship. Its called the honeymoon period for a reason.

hotpotlover · 10/07/2023 16:10

Hi OP, I am 36 and currently pregnant with my 3rd child.

I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old.

Parenting is relentless and extremely tough.

You need a very supportive partner.

It doesn't necessarily have to be your boyfriend though, do you have family support? (Sorry if you already answered this, I haven't RTFT)

Nottodaty · 10/07/2023 16:10

You need to test to know the answer & then decide whether that is to have a child or be on birth control (there are many options if you don’t want a hormonal one)

Im the daughter of a teenage parent. It’s hard, I remember the reality of a mother frustrated because she had so little choice for a career (cleaning or care work) my Dad also limited in choices - had to get any job to provide for the family. Very little money for holidays and fun day outs. Second hand clothes (which I didn’t mind and still don’t) housing limited choice. University wasn’t an option for me as they couldn’t have supported me at all or really understood the process to support me in other ways. I love them and obviously it was their choice - but it was so hard to see them struggle.

They stayed together till they around 40 - they both finally had the time and money in their 30’s to push for decent careers and both now wishing they could retire but each don’t have the best pensions. Who they were at 17/18 was very different to the adults they become.

LimitIsUp · 10/07/2023 16:17

Reading between the lines, if you are pregnant you certainly don't appear to want the baby. This is perfectly valid and legitimate - it's okay to have an abortion if this is the right decision for you. I certainly would have done in your situation.

LimitIsUp · 10/07/2023 16:19

"This might be your only chance at having a kid"
This is a singularly unhelpful comment

cocacola55 · 10/07/2023 16:21

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

FfeminyddCymraeg · 10/07/2023 16:25

As so many others said, you have to be prepared to go it alone - most teenage relationships don’t last long term (though some obviously do) but you have to decide whether you want a baby at 18, or not. Just you.

You can’t factor in anything a 17 year old boy says.

Shoemadlady · 10/07/2023 16:28

Take the test and then at least you don't have to worry about it too much if it's negative x
There are of course 18 year olds that get pregnant and keep their babies and manage of course but I think you need to seriously consider where you want you life to be and look like in 5-10 years? Do you want to do a job you love / go to college / travel etc your life will be completely different with a baby and child in tow. I don't know many 17 year old lads that want that at such a young age sadly so you have to be prepared to be a single parent with no support.
Having a kid at any age but at 18, with no support? I can't sugar coat it I'm so sorry x

YerAWizardHarry · 10/07/2023 16:32

I fell pregnant with my son when I was 18. It obviously wasn't ideal and things didn't last with his dad. My son is almost 11 now, we have 50/50 custody. I studied for a degree and have a professional job and have managed to buy a house.
There were some VERY hard and lean times I won't lie and everyone thought i'd fail but has been a great feeling proving everyone wrong.

Beezknees · 10/07/2023 16:34

hotpotlover · 10/07/2023 16:10

Hi OP, I am 36 and currently pregnant with my 3rd child.

I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old.

Parenting is relentless and extremely tough.

You need a very supportive partner.

It doesn't necessarily have to be your boyfriend though, do you have family support? (Sorry if you already answered this, I haven't RTFT)

You don't "need" a very supportive partner, I've been a lone parent since I was 18 with little family support and I have managed.

It's definitely more difficult, not denying that but there are many mums who do it alone.

Beezknees · 10/07/2023 16:36

MammaTo · 10/07/2023 15:50

Having just recently had a baby who’s now 6 months old please think seriously about your decisions.
I’m 32 and having this baby has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, you 100% NEED a partner who’s going to drop everything to help you. It’s a relentless job and there is zero down time. There’s currently a thread going about how hard having a baby is. Terminations are nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and your boyfriend. A baby would mean probably no holidays abroad, travelling, lovely meals out and date nights fee an far between for a while.
Please think seriously about it.

You don't NEED a partner, please stop telling people this. You must surely be aware that plenty of us do it without one? Of course it makes it harder but it's absolutely not a necessity.

MammaTo · 10/07/2023 16:44

Beezknees · 10/07/2023 16:36

You don't NEED a partner, please stop telling people this. You must surely be aware that plenty of us do it without one? Of course it makes it harder but it's absolutely not a necessity.

Show quote history

Oh yeah of course you don’t NEED one, i meant more along the lines of OP has a boyfriend but if they stay together and he doesn’t pull his weight it makes things so much harder.

mram · 10/07/2023 16:52

Had my little one at 17 she’s now 4 and I ended up having to single parent it. Definitely do a test as soon as you can to know for sure or not but remember teenage relationships rarely last so do what you want the opinion of your bf isn’t that important

Original poster
LEDshreddies · 10/07/2023 16:57

Just been down to the shop and I got these tests but they were VERY cheap like £1 a box so not sure how accurate they will be? Should I take one now or wait?

18 and pregnant?
OP posts:
Carpediemmakeitcount · 10/07/2023 17:01

You might as well it will help to put your mind at rest and plan if you are and if you're not go straight down the clinic.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 10/07/2023 17:07

I had an abortion when I was 16 they took me to a theatre back then. These days you take a pill. It is up to you what you want to do. If you want to go through with it then great if you don't feel ready for the responsibility then do what you have to do.

Desmondo2021 · 10/07/2023 17:14

Definitely ok to try one of those tests now. If it's pllositive then it's a reliable result but a negative isn't definitely reliable and you should try again in a few days.

Desmondo2021 · 10/07/2023 17:14

*positive

belle1993 · 10/07/2023 17:18

I got a positive 4 days before my period was due with one of those. I hope you get the news you want