How to respond to this elderly gentleman inviting my 15-year-old son to spend an afternoon with him

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This sounds creepy but it isn't. This is a genuinely kind gentleman, aged 80+, who I know in a work capacity. He hasn't met my son yet but has helped find him a work experience opportunity through a contact of his.

He used to own a company when still working and is well known in his field. He suggested complementing my son's work experience with a day out in an industrial museum and then coffee at his place where he can meet his wife. I would then collect him from there.

I have zero concerns regarding any possible untoward intentions in this invitation. I think he's just being kind to me - he's taken a liking to me for some reason (again, not in an inappropriate way).

This can actually be a brilliant opportunity for my son for many reasons. The problem is, he tells me he doesn't feel like "hanging out" with some old man for a whole afternoon. And then it dawned on me that he probably won't know how to make conversation for so long.

The solution is for me to come along, which is also more appropriate. My son would be happy with that. But if I suggest that, I'd be inviting myself to this outing and to his home. How can I phrase it in the right way? He's very, very posh - not that it matters, but between me being foreign and him coming from a very different background, I never know what the expectations are!

Thanks 🙂

We didn't used to . There were 15 year old pubbing and clubbing 30/ 40 years ago. They had Saturday jobs , smoked and rode bikes everywhere and walked school in the rain . They could leave school at 16 and go to work / apprenticeship . They grew up much quicker.

Oh for goodness sake half my street is elderly and take interest in my 13 yr old and he adores hearing there stories and is even learning woodwork with one. They are lonely in all day and enjoy the company

Tbh I don’t think we need pathologise elderly people taking an interest in the young as ‘loneliness’. Human beings have progressed as a species partly through the sharing of knowledge from generation to generation. It’s perfectly normal for elders to want to spend time with young people - passing on memories and expertise and reflections. It’s rare for any successful middle aged person not to acknowledge the beneficial influence, when they were young, of some much older person who inspired or encouraged them.

OP, thanks for your response, and I think meeting at the museum is a brilliant idea.

BTW, I also wanted to say that many older people were very kind to me when I was growing up - I found it difficult to understand that there was no ulterior motive. Now I am older myself I realise what joy young people bring to my life, and that they really were part of the 'village' that helped to raise me.

What an opportunity for your son, the man has a wealth of knowledge, experience and expertise he’s willing pass on to your boy. It’s one day out of his life or maybe a few days, surely he can make the effort to listen and learn from this kind man. Remind your boy that old people aren’t a different species to the rest of mankind, he was once a young man, his outer skin may have changed but he’s still the same underneath.

That's a lovely, thoughtful post.

Money is never a joke.

Interesting point of view on radio 4 now on this very subject
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001nh4s