Mum kicking off with child WWYD

[georgarina]

Was in a pharmacy this morning with my kids and a mum came in a dragging reception-age boy in school uniform. Started properly shouting and kicking off with the pharmacist to the point security got involved. All about how her son was deathly ill and needed medication or she was going to get everyone sacked. (But clearly not just a desperate parent - really unhinged)

The boy was the sweetest little thing and was pulling on her hand saying let's just go. She obviously ignored him and he just stood there and started crying. She did give him a hug at one point.

WWYD? Can't really get involved but I felt so awful. I was that child growing up and I remember how it felt.

I don't know anything about opticians but pharmacists and private pharmacies are regulated by the General Pharmaceutical Council. No, I don't think it understandable to react to the person in front of you about a mistake that wasn't even made by them or the business they work for.

And Opticians oddly are registered with and regulated by the General Optical Council but if they carry out NHS eye tests they have to be NHS compliant. Right, you're boring me now as you're hijacking the thread being pedantic, and I'm in awe, I can only aspire to be as controlled, together, and utterly unmoved by my child's suffering as you!

Well you've said you can't report them. And you've said SS won't get involved even if you did.

So what else do you want? 🤔 I don't get it.

This ! 😢

So you think that people who can control themselves and manage not to scream and shout at someone just because they are "in front of them" don't care about their children?🤔

That's not what I said at all, and you know it!

It certainly was the implication.

Try reading my posts

Oh I tried. Most were a little unhinged.

It would make me uncomfortable witnessing that. The people saying the mother could have just been at the end of her tether etc, yeah, fine, maybe. I'm not sure you could have done anything. If she was just being 'rough', you stepping in could make her feel like you're saying she's a bad mother. Then what about when you leave and she's outside and she starts with you? 2x trauma for the boy. It's just another day for the poor child, we can't all be heroes even though we feel like we should be. It's heartbreaking seeing a child distressed, I totally understand why you came to get it off your chest. I just don't think there is a right or wrong answer. Hopefully, she has held him tight when they got home and explained she didn't mean to scare him, etc. We never know what goes on behind closed doors and if we will make things worse by stepping up/saying nothing. I guess you just need to go with your gut instinct at the time and yours said 'no' to social services etc but atleast you gave a shit in the first place.

Look, none of us other than OP was there. All I will say is that due to a chronic illness I am very regularly in my GP surgery, the local hospital and the local pharmacy. I have seen a LOT of people kick off, both with kids in tow and without (I can't actually remember the last time I was in my GP's without someone kicking off at the receptionists for something or other).

It is generally pretty easy to tell when people are 'just' angry (often justifiably I'm sure) and when they are actually actively abusing the staff. Some of the things that the OP has quoted this woman as saying ('come out from behind the desk and face me as a person'?? WTF, that is clearly an invitation for a fight, is that really ok regardless of how angry you are?) are, to me, more in the abusive category than a desperate mother fighting for her child. The fact that the child was so distressed makes it worse.

I'm inclined to believe the OP can also tell the difference. Sometimes a snapshot is all you need, honestly.

Why are you bring so unpleasant to a woman who's worried about a child?

*'So what else do you want? 🤔 I don't get it'
*
OP would like suggestions for how she could've made the child feel any better during the moment. HTH

The child will remember a mome who stood up for him in his time of need better than a mim who didn't give a crap. Clearly too far with the staff but I don't think that's your problem here.

Was she saying the medication was for her son that was with her? Deathly ill but sending him into school?

Was this in NI by any chance? I used to work as a community pharmacist and had threats to kill me or blow up my car by the UVF. Had a drunk woman drop her baby out a pram then start screaming about how I slapped him, had another threaten to call police on me cause I was trying to kill her, another threaten to kill herself and me because I wouldn't remove the bug in her ear (there was no bug) my staff pushed to the ground, spat at, stalked, lied about..... honestly people seem to think pharmacys are like some sort of scream therapy. A lot of those people had difficult lives or a story to tell or had had a bad day but dont we all? So fed up of excuses.

And the amount of people on here trying to justify people behaving like this is scary.... no there is no excuse at all, you can be frustrated all you want but screaming at, abusing and threatening staff who are trying to help you is just a waste of everyones time and so horrible to have to work with. Do people not realise the trauma they cause to others when they behave like that? Do they not realise that those staff members also have their own struggles, worries , health and MH problems and being screamed at and threatened may actually cause some trauma to that person... no they dont because selfish Neanderthals like that think anyone working in retail/service/healthcare is simply there to serve them and arent human beings in their own right.

OP you are so correct in saying some people are just aggressive without any reason, cant understand why so many people are rushing to defend this 'mother'. I doubt very much that her issue was caused by pharmacy staff or that it would be solved by screaming at staff.

A massive reason for staff leaving medical and healthcare professions is due to abuse from patients, this is common knowledge. Whether those people are directly employed by the nhs or have nhs business contracts it's essentially all the same problems. Also a massive reason why long term sickness is high. People dont spend years training to be assaulted and threatened and just keep on truckin' we are human too and eventually it sticks with you.

When I worked in community pharmacy staff were constantly off long term sick with stress or quitting and we could never replace them- either the company wouldn't fund the job or people didnt want to do it. Doctors, nurses, pharmacists, admin staff all leaving and no one to replace them to the point services are unsustainable and one of the biggest reasons is abuse.

If the pharmacy said they are reporting it to the police, that should be the end of your involvement, you don't need to do anything other than keep out of it. The police will determine if there's a safeguarding issue and a referral is required to Social Services.

Terrible example for her child

But that is the thing. The OP did write originally that the woman was being aggressive, which I agree is not the right thing to do and she definitely should not have been, but she did not say the " fight words" till a few posts down.
It was just that she would make them lose their jobs, because they maybe were not doing them well etc.
She even said she gave the little boy a hug to maybe reassure him so, to me anyway, without the other posts, makes me think she was just frustrated with the care she got.
Now obviously if she's in fight mode, then that is totally different, obviously I agree. She is definitely unhinged. That is no way to behave at all and she definitely deserves punishment for that.
Either way OP would be the best of judge for this because she was there and saw with her own eyes.

Abuse should never be accepted in any way, shape or form.
I am 100% against this, there should definitely be some sort of penalisation for people who do this. To stop or even show people this kind of behaviour is not to be accepted.

Absolutely this. They will have a more in depth idea as to how this woman is and why she is behaving this way.
No need to get involved, leave it to the professionals.

When you start shouting you have links to xy political organisations at pharmacists, can we not all agree that is a step too far? Or is it ok if it is YOUR child? Only one step away from threatening with a petrol bomb, is that a step too far or is that still ok if it's YOUR child?

Sounds to me like some type of personal threat aimed at the staff. Yes she needed removing sick child or no sick child. No one at work should put up with that nonsense.

Most of us have had desperately sick children and felt like there was nothing we could do or access, do you start making political threats?

If you don't have a prescription there is nothing a pharmacy can do. If the they have alternative medicines then you need your GP to change it first. If they don't have it in stock they can release your prescription to a national database and you can get it filled elsewhere.

I know all this through desperation with our children. Not once did I lose my cool. I asked for help to find a solution. Much more effective it seems.

You don't have a right to kick off. No matter what your personal circumstances are. Be assertive, inform yourself, fine, but to kick off because you think you and your children are above everyone else, disgraceful.

Was this on Camden High Street? If so, apparently her son started having an asthma attack on the tube, mum rushed him out of the station whilst calling 999, knowing there was a Boots nearby. They refused to hand over an inhaler without prescription, mum starts begging and becomes exasperated at complete dismissal of her child’s deteriorating condition. Staff threatens with security and manager told her to calm down over the loudspeaker. This further dismissal of situation exasperates her even more. Paramedics arrived and stated they expected to find the pharmacist on standby with the defibrillator, not having a standoff with a highly distressed mother.

Oh my !