Mum kicking off with child WWYD

[georgarina]

Was in a pharmacy this morning with my kids and a mum came in a dragging reception-age boy in school uniform. Started properly shouting and kicking off with the pharmacist to the point security got involved. All about how her son was deathly ill and needed medication or she was going to get everyone sacked. (But clearly not just a desperate parent - really unhinged)

The boy was the sweetest little thing and was pulling on her hand saying let's just go. She obviously ignored him and he just stood there and started crying. She did give him a hug at one point.

WWYD? Can't really get involved but I felt so awful. I was that child growing up and I remember how it felt.

This. So sad people just thinking the worst when they absolutely know nothing about what's going.

Oh, I think you are! If you genuinely can't tell the difference between systematic abuse and someone losing control momentarily while dealing with a difficult situation, then you are either wilfully obtuse or downright ridiculous. Noone has said losing control is the correct course of action but those of us who have been there can understand how it happens. Usually there is a trigger for loss of control ( for me it was being told I could have walked to the shop to buy pain relief by the nurse when the receptionist had told me I couldn't leave the building and my son couldn't have pain relief until he'd been triaged, which of course never happened...) and the person on the receiving end has usually played a part in that trigger. I personally have zero tolerance to my child suffering unnecessarily at the hands of a broken system but if you're happy watching people in pain, you crack on!

I wouldn't do anything. There are clearly other people who can deal with it and actually know what's going on and who she is.

People working in service industries have feelings. Of course. But it’s true that people who shout the loudest get the most help. Or shout the ‘right’ way. And I dunno, being sent from pillar to post and denied help can feel like abuse to the customer as well, especially when our choices as employees about how we treat our customers can be swayed by our biases and prejudices. If you are the unlucky customer who is never right, the straw that breaks your back in the end will probably look insignificant compared to your reaction.

I have two disabled DC, I am very capable of keeping my cool. But I can understand desperate mothers and out of character reactions. I would ask why your image and looking like a 'good girl' is more important to you than speaking up for your DC is desperate times?

And that is a very good question, @Justthreewords?

It's very concerning how many of you think its fine for people to be abused in their place of work. They're there to earn a living not to be abused.
No profession pays enough for that. Would you put up with it

Unhinged 🙄

It’s interesting that being aggressive is translated as ‘speaking up’.

Asserting yourself and being abusive are totally separate things….the former is absolutely the superpower that all women need to foster. The latter is unacceptable.

It's also interesting to me, based on my own experience, that speaking up is classed as being 'aggressive.' If people don't speak up, then noone ever takes responsibility or is held accountable for quite often unacceptable situations.

You've now called a woman you don't know insane, unhinged and deranged.

What would I have done? I wouldn't have judged a poor woman seemingly at the end of her tether trying to get the medication her child desparately needs.

We can't always react perfectly, that's the thing. The woman may well have a very seriously ill child, she may be seriously sleep deprived or utterly terrified her child is going to die. She clearly felt ignored and possibly even mocked given that she was discussed on the tannoy. We really don't know what was going on and we do not have enough information to judge her.

Child one was 'mummy', Child two was 'dandan' (Granny.) Now what does that have to do with you being what my mother would term 'abrasive'....?

@TheSnootiestFox but you didn't speak up for your child? You are the reason your son was denied medical help. It's not about being a 'good girl', it's about not being so vile and aggressive you get kicked out of a hospital.

Google local primary schools and see if you can identify the uniform.

But that's the whole point, I wasn't! I was deemed to because I dare speak up and question the whole pain relief thing. I didn't swear, didn't get personal or call anyone names, I just said that I was able to speak for him as he was under 18 and asked why he hadn't been triaged. It was all investigated and I received a grovelling apology from the CCG regarding our appalling treatment and an admission that my son had been forgotten about, but the damage was done and I'd been essentially goaded to lose my cool by a health care professional who was covering an incompetent colleagues back! But hey, you judge away.....

Deranged and insane are quite strong words to use when you don’t actually have any knowledge of that persons mental health.

Everybody in society is responsible for safeguarding children because children are unable to safeguard themselves. All the ops happy to ignore and spouting the MN favourite, "Mind your own business" should spare a thought for helpless children rather than automatically defending abusive mothers. Maybe if a few less people didn't mind their own business and intervened, less children would be murdered.

I'm not sure that 'right' is the correct term to use. There's lots of things we don't have the right to do that but are understandable in certain situations. I haven't got a right to Jay walk but if I'm being chased by an axe murderer nobody would try to stop me running across the road. It's not a 'right' to shout at people serving you but as fully grown adult strangers we can understand why someone would shout at staff but not shout at their spouse the same way.

I can't imagine a world where we only did things that we had a right to do. If it were up to you would there never be any angry raised voices? If not, when would someone have the 'right' to raise their voice in anger or frustration?

Too many people projecting and basing this on their own experiences. I had a crap experience at the pharmacy with my 2 year old at Christmas when there was the antibiotic shortage. I was beside myself. Been up all night. Toddler with a high temp crying in the pram. Queued for 20 mins only to be told they didn’t have it and to go to the pharmacy 30 minute walk away. Walked to the second pharmacy with sick toddler only to find first pharmacy hadn’t released it and had to go all the way back because nobody was picking up the phone. I was pretty angry but managed to convey my annoyance and frustration without security or police being called. If the woman is in such a state that this happened there may be other things going on and she may well need support which is what childrens services decide

Yeah exactly this. I know I can’t swoop in with my flying cape and get it sorted but the child was crying pulling the mum away and saying ‘let’s just go’ while security was threatening to call police. Just something to make him feel better without overstepping and making it worse

Chavs, ignore them

It absolutely is ok if necessary to get important medication to a child.

Mothers shouldn't be held hostage by health professionals for fear of seeming impolite.

(Obviously I don't know the exact details in this specific case, but nor does the OP).

todays society in one !!! Not my issue, she could also be an abusive mother, and if everyone keep their sticky beak out, how many kids would fall under the radar. Glad you think thats okay thought..... unreal !