Mum kicking off with child WWYD

[georgarina]

Was in a pharmacy this morning with my kids and a mum came in a dragging reception-age boy in school uniform. Started properly shouting and kicking off with the pharmacist to the point security got involved. All about how her son was deathly ill and needed medication or she was going to get everyone sacked. (But clearly not just a desperate parent - really unhinged)

The boy was the sweetest little thing and was pulling on her hand saying let's just go. She obviously ignored him and he just stood there and started crying. She did give him a hug at one point.

WWYD? Can't really get involved but I felt so awful. I was that child growing up and I remember how it felt.

No one comes off well in that scenario

Actually, from where I was when I was kicking off, it wasn't me that needed a boot up my arse, it was the nurse who after CCG investigation was discovered to have forgotten to triage my 12 year old.

Hmmm. I am still on the fence. I mean, it is never a good thing to go all guns- ablazing and maybe she did not just handle it well.
But sometimes situations force you to. I am a very laid back person and if you know me then you will know I never am one for drama etc. But I once had something similar. The pharmacist definitely was acting smug and thinking he was better and to cover up his own mistakes, tried to lay blame on me. Only thing different I did is other than arguing initially with the pharmacist to make him see reason, was, to calm down. Got the doctor on board, showed up his mistake and then make a complaint about him about treating his customers with respect. I did this to get him off his high horse and so that going forward, he would treat everyone equally. It worked as he has seemed to learn his lesson.
Sometimes though emotions may not make you see clearly and you feel like you are fighting a lost cause.

Couldn’t you have given him some pain relief and something to eat?

Nope, because I was told if I left the building he'd lose his place in the queue. It was an UTC, not a hospital with a shop/costa etc.....

WWYD? Probably asked if she was okay. Obviously she doesn’t sound like she was but I would be concerned for her as well as her child.

I don't think a SS referral needs to be made for a clearly upset mum trying to get medication for her child.

The state of the NHS at the minute is ridiculous, and many of us have had our desperate moments.

She obviously didn't handle the situation well, but if her kid is unwell, and nobody is listening, then I get her frustration.

You did ignore the crying child you said you didn't do anything!

You don’t know anything about her, or the circumstances. It’s a bit much to post with such authority.

Having an ill child and trying to get help for them from an inefficient health service where you feel no one is listening to you can send the most placid parent absolutely insane.

Phone the NSPCC for advice.

Poor child. The woman’s behaviour is damaging. I’m surprised so many are defending her. I’d report to SS. Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility.

I wonder what the responses would be if you said the women was a man with a child.

Very different t I suspect

‘It's just sad that ignoring things like this and 'it's probably fine' in the face of a distressed child is so normalised.’

What? But you did nothing, are you calling your own inaction sad? You did nothing except post about it online, calling the woman ‘deranged, insane and aggressive’

So many are defending her as due to a break down in all state provided health and social care in this country, so many of us have been there, I imagine 🙄

It sounds like you made your mind up about the parent. You are her judge and jury and know the history by the sounds of it.

"Having an ill child and trying to get help for them from an inefficient health service where you feel no one is listening to you can send the most placid parent absolutely insane." This, I'm almost at that point with CAMHS.

Even if she's a shit parent and shouts a lot...what do you think social services should do?

How can you tell clearly the difference between 'desperate' and 'unhinged'?

Does desperation ever lead to becoming 'unhinged'? Is the difference social acceptability? Is the quiet sort of desperation - the concealing sort, the go home and cry, do something desperate in the middle of the night sort - somehow better? Is it less 'unhinged'?

Is accepting injustice politely, calmly, meekly always the best course of action? What help do you envisage being provided for the woman and her child?

I once had a 2-minute blip where I completely lost my grip. I don't think anyone saw it but had they, they may have also worried about my mental health, the effect on my child etc. It was a horrible moment where everything just got too much for me. It made me reevaluate everything and whenever I'm about to take on too much, I remember it and say 'no' to whoever is asking. Nearly 5 years down the line and I've not lost the plot like that since. I do often wonder what might have happened if anyone had seen and reported.

I'd imagine the women who have themselves been in this situation understand and the women who believe this would never happen don't. I've been there heavily pregnant, trying to get my BP medication that pharmacies said they did not have. I ended up back in hospital. It can be very stressful and scary when you cannot get medication you need. I managed to keep calm but I can see why sometimes people can't. She may be in a desperate situation with a very poorly child. SS won't do anything about this.

Yes, the main office made an annoucement on speaker phone and said the incident was being recorded and sent to police

*loudspeaker not speaker phone

Snapshots can't tell us if someone is just having a bad day or not their finest hour

Personally OP I would find it triggering because my mother would behave like that and make scenes frequently and I would want to disappear 🫥 and die from the embarrassment as a child, she'd forget what the actual need was in the first place while creating a hysterical scene with an audience

But... whilst I was that child and I did need, and later was removed and placed in care because it formed a much wider picture on investigation

Not every child is that child. Some mums are simply in one desperate situation and responding to it

You don't have enough detail, and perhaps this was triggering to you but since you can't report and professionals who have a duty to report if it meets certain criteria were there (pharmacy staff) do have their names and GP contact details- I would rest easy knowing that if it forms part of a wider picture then it will get there and reported, and investigated

I dont think social services should do anything thats why I didnt just call them obviously.

I asked how I could have made the scared ashamed child feel better.