The next person who tells me we all need to move on...

[Youknowaboutthepaint]

Is likely to get both barrels.

So many people still seem convinced that "the other lot" would be even worse, even though they can't begin to tell me why.

That Christmas, while our esteemed leaders were partying was DH's last. He spent it at home, in pain, without access to the medical care he needed and without seeing anyone except those he lived with.

A few days later he went into to hospital where he stayed for 3 months, without a single visitor. During that time he was told, alone, by telephone because his consultant was shielding, that his cancer was terminal, stil he wasn't allowed any visitors. He never met his oncologist and I had to fight every day to find anyone who would talk to me about his prognosis/ treatment/pain control/return home.

He came home eventually once they'd managed to get his pain under some sort of control, to die, a shadow of the man his DC had last seen, still officially not allowed any visitors. (Although by that point anyone who wanted to visited, I classified as a carer).

Then we had to restrict numbers at his funeral.

All the while those making the decisions that had affected us so badly were having the time of their life. Most are still in power/working in governement, making the laws that affect us all, dishing out or receiving honours, spending our money. And they've lied about it continuously since.

I'm still trying to support severely traumatised children whose lives were badly affected by lockdowns, even if they hadn't had to deal with all the stuff with their dad.

I'm generally a fairly easy going, resilient sort, but I dare anyone to tell me it's time we got over it.

Youknowaboutthepaint can I ask what other news reports have been given the same coverage as Partygate?
I remember the invasion of Ukraine being announced very hurriedly just before the programme was cut off.

I think my turning point was watching a well known actor coming on to promote his charity and his acting obviously failed him as you could tell exactly what he was thinking. I think WTF was a pretty good guess

He was blurting out what his charity was for and what support they gave whilst the reporter kept pressing him for his opinion on the parties.

It was toe cringingly awful by the reporter as they failed to pick up that it wasn’t appropriate questioning

Move on means don't be angry.

Move on means forget about it.

Move on means we don't want to think about it.

I fucking won't. Not whilst that government still sit in power, making fuck up after scandal after fuck up after scandal, re-jigging everytime they need to.

I had a pretty easy time of lockdown in many respects.

However lack of access to NHS care has meant I have lost the last bits of my independence. It meant I did not get treatment that would have saved the range of motion in my upper body and arms, as a result I can't reach for shit, can't brush my hair, can't wipe my arse.

That means I can't be left on my own, I can't get out of the house by myself, go to the toilet, put myself to bed or even get comfy on the sofa.

That government left disabled people largely to fend for themselves, they left it to supermarkets to ensure vulnerable people got access to food deliveries, never considering for a second that the data supermarkets hold on people is age related, not health related. So I did not get access to deliveries, millions of people like me did not.

Going out, if we had to, all the blue badge spots were taken to use for queues, stacking products etc - no replacements were put in elsewhere.

The disabled, the terminally ill, the vulnerable - we did not matter and that message was loud and clear.

It still is.

I feel for you OP and everyone in similar situations to yours, or mine - it is something to remain angry about and take action when we can. Not something to sweep under the carpet and move on from!

I don't need to have a bright idea. The Great Barrington Declaration (supported by many scientific experts) came up with ways to protect the vulnerable whilst allowing others to continue working, going to school etc. This was rubbished by the media who mindlessly called for harder and harder lockdowns whilst also sometimes breaking the rules themselves. Also we have had pandemics throughout history (last ones in 1957 and 1968) and have never locked down everyone before - maybe worth asking why given experiences like the ops?

DH was diagnosed early in lockdown, I am convinced his treatment and outcome would've been better had there not been a lockdown. The health service was so overwhelmed that everything, except covid, went out the window and meanwhile these buffoons carried on like every day was a party, What your family went through was truly awful and your DH's story should be heard.

Very true.

I opted out of a lot of it and prioritised my children's welfare where I could, since the state wasn't.

But I also had a family member who died in hospital during the pandemic, not of covid, and there's nothing any of us could do about the rules that meant she spent most of her last weeks without visitors. Like you, we had no choice. That's why this feels so bitter.

They never believed in lockdown, they always thought it was nanny state nonsense that would harm the economy

I don’t think anyone looking at this critically believed in lockdowns.

If anything I think it was the “experts” who got it wrong.

I’m truly so very sorry. I’m still haunted by my Grandad going into a care home and dying without ever being able to say goodbye to him. I had to beg my stepdad to go and say goodbye to the man who raised him as he was so worried he would get Covid at the hospital and then kill my Grandmother. I guess the Tory scum marketing worked on a lot of us too well. I’m still traumatized by my baby nearly dying as a newborn and my husband not being allowed to even visit and going through all the trauma on my own.

This isn’t something you move on from. This is something we should all be up in arms about. Anyone who has the attitude of ‘oh well we all broke rules’ can get fucked now, because at the time they acted like they played along. Many of us didn’t break the rules and our relatives suffered alone and we won’t simply get over it.

@TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed Yep I know a few too (but work in media) often great for a gossip and a drink down the bar and often affable but usually pretty shallow and totally unsuitable for leadership roles in anything such as parliament - they need to be liked too much

@Youknowaboutthepaint

I took it as moving on from the whole thing.

I feel betrayed/let down not only in what they did by rule breaking… but in how they disregarded large swathes of the population and their needs ie predominantly working class people in retail, hospitality etc, and people with urgent healthcare needs/chronic illness.

The prioritised people in certain professions and the healthy, set up a whole bunch of rules to make life impossible then broke them all.

I’m still so furious.

More so at the inequality of lockdowns (civil servants etc getting full wage, bonuses, tax breaks etc and kids of essential workers allowed education) which has long term ramifications.

We missed time with loved ones who passed too, had to endure those awful “phone calls only” to hospital hearing very distressed relatives/friends.

Psychologically it was hard to take that we couldn’t be there to hold hands and comfort people. But we were all vulnerable too, so I accepted it.

I knew of a lot of idiotic behaviour; parties, gatherings, people not getting vaccinated when given the opportunity. Not to excuse the behaviour of politicians, but idiots exist in all professions…. My concern was throughout protecting my family and following my own conscience. I accepted there would be bad behaviour and I avoided anyone who partook of it.

Sorry if a bit rambling. People rule breaking was to be expected and while it is awful, nothing can be done to undo it now.

I think it is right there is an enquiry and a period of assessment.

We will be facing further pandemics unfortunately, so important that plans are put in place to avoid further discrimination/widening of inequality in future and to maximise adherence to required regulations in all.

YANBU @Youknowaboutthepaint.

I watched the debate yesterday and was disgusted at the MP for Don Valley declaring that it was Time to forgive and move on. And that he would demonstrate this by not voting for the Report.🤨

I absolutely agree.

And people that say they won't vote Labour because:

Jeremy Corbyn
Nonsense about miners strikes 30 years ago
Keir Starmer is boring
They never have so never will....

Should go away and have a long look at themselves. Its an attitude of total stupidity.

For a start people who were fined for breaking rules including students should be refunded when these tories seem to be getting no punishment

The Queen, god rest her soul, she even followed the rules! How dare they have done this.

@cantab94 the reason for the lockdowns was the transmissibility of covid was off the scale. Death rate was circa 2% but even in July 2021 they were saying there was 20% likelihood of emergence of variant with much higher death toll.

What you have to remember is that close relatives SARS, MERS have substantially higher fatality rates, if covid developed greater pathogenicity coupled with the greater transmission… I mean you’d have something truly catastrophic in health and economic terms - all the pasta and toilet roll drama would pale in comparison to the looting, rioting, societal breakdown. Total mess.

Retrospectively, as we now know which way covid evolution went, we can say it was all for nothing, but not so easy facing eminent threat at the time.

I was in favour of the lockdowns and reductions in social mixing etc. Just not for only certain sectors in society taking the financial hit - while the rest buy hot tubs, Ferraris, luxury hols in Devon etc.

I am so disgusted at not only the government's utter disgraceful hypocrisy but their complete lack of meaningful guidance and leadership during an incredibly scary time.

I am an SEN teacher who teaches very vunerable children and we were left with zero idea what the best thing to do was - balancing our worries about our and our families health along with caring for our students who need routine and for whom school was their safe place. I caught covid atat work from a child when I was pregnant before any vaccines had been produced. I was told over the phone by GP it 'could go either way' if my baby would survive or not as they didn't know enough about covid's effects on unborn babies. And my experience wasn't particularly bad compared to so many that lost loved ones, and vulnerable children that just fell through the gaps.

This is not to even mention the corruption and all the people that made millions (?!)whilst other people were suffering and watching their loved ones die alone. Angry doesn't even cover it! People should be in prison for this!

Whoever is releasing the film of them partying should release everything they have

I'm so sorry for what you went through. I'm another one with memories of losing a loved one with limited contact due to restrictions (however my situation doesn't come close to yours). It has been a hard one to 'move on' from, but I don't know what else I can do as it has happened now. No amount of me being angry will change it. It doesn't mean you can't still feel angry though, you have every right to.

Sorry for your loss 🌾

Thank you for the kind messages that tagged me.
Im going off now as the thread is starting to be derailed into a debate about lockdowns.

I don't intend to stay angry, but I can't agree with people who think we should put it all behind us because the next lot will be worse, without being able to tell me how or why and without even giving them the opportunity, or that there should be no or very limited consequences for those who did this.

I think it just feels like a slap in the face, in many instances. I had no trust in Johnson and co, but even then, knowing that they were doing this while my family member spent her last weeks of life alone is painful and an insult. You're right that it doesn't change anything, that just doesn't seem to make the feelings any different.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how hard it was and continues to be for you all.
DM died of ovarian cancer in 2019. It's known as the silent killer. By the time she was diagnosed, DM was told there was nothing could be done. She was admitted, diagnosed and never came home.
I recount this because I come from a huge family with several siblings. We have all said the only blessing was that it happened in 2019, not 20 because we made sure DM was never alone.
To know patients suffered and died alone whilst those in charge partied sickens me to my core. It's unforgivable.

If anyone feels it would be helpful, there is an opportunity to submit your experiences/views on what happened over the covid period to the ongoing enquiry here.

https://covid19.public-inquiry.uk/every-story-matters/#section_1_taking-part

So sorry.

As an icu Dr I totally lack the words to even express my feelings. But pls those with icu relatives know they never died alone. Their nurse will always be by their sides/religious minster if wanted and their symptoms well controlled. We cared so so much even if Boris didnt

Try reading a range of broadsheet newspapers to be informed - there is a great deal else going on, though that doesn't make this issue unimportant.