Is everyone on MN no contact with at least one of their family?

[Lentilweaver]

It seems like it sometimes. As all the advice is either go NC or do something so ill-advised you might as well go NC ( like refuse to answer the door to your MIL or present your mum for a bill for food she ate or something)

I am not NC with any of my family, btw. Yet. Though if DH snores any more, I might be.

There are all sorts. I wasn't really talking about the stately homes kind of abuse, as is apparent, I think.

No harm op but I've spent today struggling remembering the abuse my father put me through. It's Father's Day and mine was and is shit.

Me and my brother (full sibling) are both no contact with him. And for good reason.

Estranged from both parents (one now deceased) & one sibling.

Other sibling and I talk daily, despite living in different countries.

I can’t say I’d recommend estrangement. It is a very, very hard road. Not to be undertaken lightly. The weight of it can be crushingly heavy going at times. Other times it’s just the familiar weary wariness of speaking carefully around the topic of family with people you’ve known and liked for a couple of decades. Because you don’t want to have to explain all the gory details all over again before they can understand why a Disney ending is unobtainable. It can also be hard to accurately predict how you feel when certain life stages arrive.

Unfortunately, sometimes it is the only harm reduction path on offer. There isn’t a single member of my family I don’t love. Forgiveness, when it came, came easy and complete. But, I couldn’t inhale any more of the rubble dust caused by our broken home and stay alive.

If I could snap my fingers and have them all back like it never happened, I would. I miss who we all were.

I've been NC with my parents since I was 17 pretty much after a horrific childhood. It isn't something I would have chosen for myself, not having parents and living with the psychological effects of having an abusive childhood is hard. It's nice that you are 'sorry for those of us who have suffered abuse though' it makes it so much easier.

I was very LC with my mother before she died. NC with my brother for the last 25 odd years. His choice. The family I have created, we're all v close, thank God

It wasn't even a little bit apparent.

I didn't see it as apparent either.

I wish I had a different dad who could've loved us fully and not be abusive

And this thread is in poor taste on Fathers Day particularly.

Ok, have asked for it to be deleted.

There are all sorts. I wasn't really talking about the stately homes kind of abuse, as is apparent, I think.

Not really apparent, no.

I wish I hadn't responded to your thread, even though I didn't go into detail.

Hilarious @MIBnightmare

Try reading the whole thread first

My decision was nothing to do with any website.

It was a long and painful path that meandered through abusive childhood to abusive marriage.

It really isn't something undertaken lightly in any cases I know of.

To all the people on the thread who've spoken about their abusive family members, before this gets deleted, I'm so sorry.

I wish you all the best, healing, health and love.

What business is it of YOURS @Lentilweaver ?

As people have said, this thread is really rude and unpleasant and insensitive. Awful thread.

Like others I wish I'd done it sooner.

And the thing is, the thing that I did it for was literally straw that broke the camels back.

So he can frame it as me being so sensitive and over nothing.

And that's fine. That's up to him. I know the truth.

I am what can we say?? There must be lots of narcissists out there!

I don't think it was apparent either.

I don't regret sharing my experience. Might give narrow minded posters a bit of an education and pause for thought.

Good, there by the grace of god (or whatever grabs you) OP. Dreadful thread.

I am NC with a family member. I never posted about it on here but posts I have seen since strongly reinforced my decision

No. I have a huge extended family (so does DH) and everyone gets on.

Shame on you OP, making a post like this at all let alone on Father's Day. Glad you can play happy families with no understanding of what others have been through. For everyone else that has posted here about their experiences, I am thinking of you. Posts like this always make me feel so ashamed of my family background and the difficult NC decision I had to make. We don't all get born into perfect families, you know, and I certainly didn't choose the circumstances I was born into. As others have said, NC is a heart wrenching decision I don't think anyone makes lightly.

Nobody goes no contact with a close family member for a small irritating incident.

The reverse is true.

Why would anyone chose to completely walk away from their relationship with a parent for example? If there was love there, it would be human nature to want to keep that relationship. Which is why brown men cry for their Mums because in life or death situations.

Op, you sound a little bit pleased with yourself. You have been lucky enough to grow up without experiencing what it's like to be unloved and hurt by a family member.

Grown men, not brown men. Good job this thread will get gone!

I do think there’s an undercurrent of smugness and oh how stupid and over sensitive they are tinkly laugh.

I don’t understand why anyone would treat such a topic so lightly.

I answered the OPs question.!!