Is everyone on MN no contact with at least one of their family?

[Lentilweaver]

It seems like it sometimes. As all the advice is either go NC or do something so ill-advised you might as well go NC ( like refuse to answer the door to your MIL or present your mum for a bill for food she ate or something)

I am not NC with any of my family, btw. Yet. Though if DH snores any more, I might be.

Op you sound quite cavalier about this.

Going no contact with anyone is usually the culmination of many years of extreme upset and abuse in varying degrees.

Yes. Sorry for those who have suffered abuse. But sometimes, there are threads where people absolutely rush to take offence. Like that cake thread yesterday....

@ProudThrilledHappy

Yes I can resonate wifh this.
The enemy was within.

That is very hand-waving. Yes, yes, abuse whatever. back to my point that people are unreasonable.

If you start a thread about being alienated from family members, try to understand you are opening wounds.

Yep. Obviously there'll be some with very good reasons. It's more the number of people that advise posters to go NC with people over the most slender of perceived slights, that makes me wonder how many people who never hear from their offspring or siblings really deserve that treatment.

I'm as low contact with my mum as I can manage to be, but I still advocate for her needs and care. And to be honest, she's not bothered whether I visit or not, so I don't really consider it a big deal or a huge decision. It just works out that way.

Fortunately I have a wonderful in-law family that I view family life through. So when I read NC threads I feel a bit sad, and forget that I'm LC with someone myself!

Not me although I have some challenging family members. I dont believe in completely cutting out family unless for a truly important reason.

Only way I can contact most of my family is through a medium !

I'm completely NC with one of my sisters, and that's absolutely fine by me.

Wouldn't want to change it, and can't think of any circumstance under which I would.

Wonder if the world is small enough that both sides of the NC are in this thread

I actually notice the opposite - lots of mumsnetters seem very emeshed with their families, lots of posts from people who have family members competing over having their children overnight (no one has ever offered to have ours!), people who see their parents every week etc

I am mostly NC with some extended family members but not close family

We’re NC with DH’s father and his family. The nail in the coffin was him texting all of his children on Christmas Eve demanding we all purchase one of his custom erotic paintings 😁

FIL and SMIL are pretty horrible people to be honest. They’re currently trying to shake down DH’s great grandmother for £20,000 because they gambled away a years worth of mortgage payments and are being evicted. I don’t feel we really need to try to have relationships with them.

Agree @MrsTerryPratchett

Hooray! Another thread bashing people who have different experiences. Count yourself lucky that you haven't had to go NC with anyone.

The sneeriness on this topic is so annoying and boring. Yes, we know, mumsetters are all NC bla bla

Yes, this. OP, you're lucky not to know what this choice entails.

Yes, I am.

Lucky you op to be born into a nice family. Not sure its something to be smug about.

You do realise it is father’s day which is triggering enough for a lot of people.

Just rub it in a bit more why don’t you?

I am not and never have been NC with anyone in my family. A family member is sporadically NC with us for sometimes slightly baffling reasons.

Good point. That's awful timing.

Sorry I didn't realise it was Father's Day. Not a thing I celebrate. Nor Mother's Day.

Been no contact with my half sisters for 15 years and am no contact with dh parents.

I’ve got one life and I will not spend it being around people who have been arseholes to me.

NCT with ny mother, seldom my sister and NCT with my other sister
Most of my cousins/ aunt / uncles , if not all as well . I knew who were there when I hit absolute rock bottom during covid and it was none of those fuckers . .a lot of them are selfish and the rest are just cunts

That is very hand-waving. Yes, yes, abuse whatever. back to my point that people are unreasonable.

If you start a thread about being alienated from family members, try to understand you are opening wounds.

Well said @MrsTerryPratchett

Really OP @Lentilweaver
Badly done

On a forum like this you will always get the noteworthy situations looming large, especially when it is complicated sensitive stuff that can be hard to find anyone in RL to discuss it with objectively.
It doesn't equate to all mumsnetters being quick to cheerfully cut off family though.
The stately homes thread is an education if you want some insight into what some people have to deal with.

No and I can't imagine ever being so even though certainly some members of my family are ahem challenging to say the least. DH was/is NC with his DPs (one has since died) both that was the choice of his DPs not his choice.

I’m NC with one of my brothers. I had tolerated his toxic behaviour for years. The final straw was when he was very offensive in a conversation in which he referred to our deceased DM.

That was about 10 years ago. And no, not after advice given here, I just snapped, blocked him.

He managed to contact me last year, nothing about him has changed, he’s a controlling narcissist. So contact will never be reestablished.

Nope. Huge family. All love each other. V unmumsnetty in that of my 2 sisters and step bro and sis are one v happy family. Would never consider NC even due to a big dispute as we would TALK to each other..

Then again we are weird.
We ALL get on with our Mums/MiLs
All answer the door when someone knocks AND ...

When we had babies no one felt the need to 'bond' in isolation for two weeks.. and were there with food and presents from day 2.. (me included .. what's not to love.. Mil doing the hoovering while sister made food and I lay in bed feeding baby and handing them over for cuddles while I slept )

We probably need group psychotherapy.

Someone might appear to be “rushing to take offence” but without knowing the entire story I wouldn’t be so quick to judge.

If I told you I vastly reduced contact with my dad because he raised his voice at me in front of my DC that may sound dramatic and elicit an eye roll. If I went on to tell you the background to my entire childhood was his daily screaming rages (because, eg, someone left the lid of the toothpaste) and witnessing him physically abuse my mum and siblings when shouting at them then my dramatic response looks slightly different. I saw the look of fear in DD’s eyes when he raised his voice menacingly at me. I haven’t taken DC back to his house since despite relatives criticising me for depriving a sick man (cancer, allegedly) from seeing his DGC.