Son hurt me. With this (pic)

[271726a]

My son is 16 he kept going on at me over food . I feel ill. I have food in freezer /cupboards . He does not want it. He would not leave me alone. I feel total shit. My other kids are ill as well. I told him to leave me alone.

He then went to his room. He still kept messaging me over food. I'm the end I went to his room and said stop we are ill you need to stop your 16 your old enough to sort yourself food.

He told me to get out . I did I closed the door. He then came out a throw a bottle at me. It don't seem like much but it really hurt . He's been aggressive in the past. And really nasty . But he's never physically touched me.

I can't take this anymore. I told him tp leave he's gone I have no idea where i think he will contact out of hours social services.

He has physically touched me. He throw a full bottle of bottle wash as me with full force he threw it at me in anger . It looks a small bottle but throwing ut at force bloody hurt . It still hurts now and it was a few hours ago .

He has Been extremely aggressive towards me verbally throwing stuff smashing my house up. His voice is over powering . I have had my 7/8 year old crying because they are scared I have had my 12 year old crying her eyes out saying mum I'm scared he's going to hurt you . She can't even be left in the house with him for 20 mins . Because of how he is . We can't live a standard life because of him. My kids should not have to see all this .

And you know what social services don't care. My kids can be exposed to that as long as I safe guard them. As in don't lea e him alone with the younger kids. Social services are not as helpful as people think

I am agree.

Sorry but you did say in your op that he has never physically touched you! Now that you have updated I am much more sympathetic to your situation. It is extremely hard and I understand how you feel. I am sorry op. I did not read the full thread to see if you had updated but from your op it just sounded like a one off over a food argument

16 year olds can legally get married and have their own house. 10 year olds can't so it's not the same.

I'm very sorry you are going through this but you cannot just say because you think you are having worse that the OP should accept this behaviour.

Difference between a child not even at high school yet and one who is of age to leave, not to mention the power imbalance of his height and strength.

I hope you are getting some support.

You have done absolutely the right thing. For you, your younger children and your son. Keep yourselves safe.

I know, it does my head in too. Considering people children until they're 25 and their brains are fully formed is batshit. Half the issues are caused by people who are now adults living like children with all the restrictions that brings, but having been babied all their lives aren't in a suitable emotional state to move out and live independently either with a partner, friend(s) or alone. All the blame it on the cost of living, my child isn't going to rent/house share/have no spare cash after bills and be skint, everyone must go to university etc. It's ridiculous. If these "children" were working they'd not have so much excess energy to be rowing with everyone all the time, they'd have an income and so have control over their own lives, as well as the autonomy that comes from independent living and they'd be less frustrated as a result.

And you know what social services don't care. My kids can be exposed to that as long as I safe guard them. As in don't lea e him alone with the younger kids. Social services are not as helpful as people think

You don't have to live like this, you have every right to safety in your own home, and believe me I know how useless SS can be. I used to call them myself for support with my oldest. They'd come out, ask her if she wanted help and when she shook her head they'd be on their merry way without a second glance. I was calling because I wanted support for myself and my other child.

You have to keep calling and pushing. Tell them what you want. If you don't want your son home tell them you need them to find him somewhere safe to go. If you just need help/a break tell them you need respite and a support worker and keep telling them until they listen.

@NeverDropYourMooncup
You were suspended in the air one handed at 15 stone? Were you dating the mountain?

You think I threw him out over just the bottle. If only that were true

Not true. Unless they are in care there is no legal responsibility for a child over 16.

That is what your original post implied though

I don't see why you shouldn't chuck him out. I would if my DS hit me. It might be worse next time, or he might attack one of your other dc. If he's old enough to lash out, he's old enough to do do it somewhere else.

Felt like it when he was choking me out. Worth it in a way because it distracted him away from the intended thrashing of our 2 year old with a belt, though.

But thanks for the way you phrased that instead of saying 'I never realised just how strong and dangerous an angry 6'4" male can be' and, unlike any other time I've mentioned it on here in the context of a discussion, not bothered with any 'I'm so sorry, that must have been terrifying for you' type of comments. Always good to know that my size was the bit you took away from the post.

He’s 16 and you have other kids to worry about. Tell social services in no uncertain terms that you will not be having him back - that way they will sort out some help for him.

OP I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
Most Social Services departments are pretty much overwhelmed at the moment and it sounds as though yours have been hoping things will hang on with you just about managing for some time. They need to step in and deal with this immediately. Aleast they will have records of how things have been with your son, so they should have some understanding of the situation.

You've come to a crisis with this latest incident. You have been assaulted and are not feeling safe with him at the moment. He needs a temporary placement with foster carers while measures can be put in place to support you both. This needs family intervention with ongoing counselling and advice.

Please don't take the ignorance of some mumsnet posters to heart, OP. There's a lot of spiteful, misguided, smug and mean people on here and having a dig at someone who's struggling with a serious issue is just what they do. I'm actually fuming 😤 for what has been said to you.

Wishing you, and your kid, better times ahead.

Why did he have a bottle of Bayliss and Harding bodywash in his room?
They normally come in a nice gift set, I'd go in there and confiscate the rest of it so he can't throw the other bottles at you.

Of course it's wrong. What did his dad say about it?

OP,

Protect yourself and your other children from this behaviour.

He clearly is escalating.

You sound at the end of your tether.

You have every right to put the safety of the family ahead of one member who terrorises you.

Hopefully SS can help.

When people are physically and emotionally fucked and are at the end and can't take anymore they cant always go into massive details. But since you could have read my other responses or you could have asked has this happend before . I'd there Any history. Now had a posted everything my op would have been extremely long . At the time of posting I was litterly crying and feeling very over whelmed. And stupid me just posted about what had upset me at that time. And even more stupid me thought well if uts not completely clear maybe people will ask .

100% this. Can't believe some people here talks like if he was a toddler. At 16 he should know he must respect his mother and put a pizza in the oven if he's hungry FCS!

He does not know his dad.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

What is your son's situation? Is he still attending school? Is he employed, or looking for work?

Maybe write down the date and time this happened and start noting down when he kicks off. It might be helpful info to have further down the line.

I'm sorry SS are so bloody useless. I have sympathy because the strain on them is enormous but even so, it is terrifying to feel so helpless and without support.

Do you have any family or friends you can lean on for support? I hope you do.

OP, I'd leave this thread, if I was you. You don't come across as being in the right place emotionally to deal with some of the frankly abhorrent responses you're getting and I fear your last post will only inflame things further.

Call SS now and tell them your son has left the home and you are not willing to let him back. They have a responsibility to ensure he has somewhere safe to go. Put the kettle on and take some time to process what has happened.

Horrible situation to be in. However I would not throw him out. Ok, he is still legally a child but 16 year old boys can be very strong. He sounds like he needs help, but don’t make him homeless. My mum did this to me and I never forgave her.

OP I appreciate the Backround is long but what’s his relationship with his father? I noticed a few people have asked but I couldn’t see a reply to that.

Has he been physically abused by any males in his life?
he seems like he has a huge amount of anger and resentment. One of the kids I used to work with was like your son , he was the oldest of 3 kids and was the only one violent to his mum.

We discovered the reason was his mum had let him be knocked about by previous partners when he was younger . She had protected the younger kids but not him. And he was also the only child whose dad had completely left - the others had a different dad.

Not suggesting that is your situation, but just saying it seems like there is something underlying this.

in the case of this woman she put him in care but this made him worse actually as his level of feeling rejection grew even more.