Son hurt me. With this (pic)

[271726a]

My son is 16 he kept going on at me over food . I feel ill. I have food in freezer /cupboards . He does not want it. He would not leave me alone. I feel total shit. My other kids are ill as well. I told him to leave me alone.

He then went to his room. He still kept messaging me over food. I'm the end I went to his room and said stop we are ill you need to stop your 16 your old enough to sort yourself food.

He told me to get out . I did I closed the door. He then came out a throw a bottle at me. It don't seem like much but it really hurt . He's been aggressive in the past. And really nasty . But he's never physically touched me.

I can't take this anymore. I told him tp leave he's gone I have no idea where i think he will contact out of hours social services.

Hes not the oldest child... this is a build up. He has done the rudeness the typical teen stuff. He has done verbally abusive, he has done the aggression. He has done the aggressive behaviour throwing stuff breaking things. He has done beating me down mentally and emotionally. Its now physical that was the last straw I'm.nlt taking that . He's been throw everything abd got away with it . This was the last thing he could do .

What??

Read through my previous comments or maybe read my last comment again ffs

How many older siblings does he have?

You have 4 still at home? Are any of the fathers involved? What is his relationship with older siblings? Could they offer a safe place to cool off?

There seems to be a lot going on for him, particularly with the ADHD and the suspected emotional dysregulation. What treatment is he getting for this?

Copy & past of one of the OP's subsequent posts:

"Hes been aggressive to me for a long time, as in years. Hes very aggressive verbally. And he actually gas lights people. I called the police once when he was smashing up my house they took 6hrs to arrive and done nothing. He tries to have control on the whole house

He does have some mental heath issues . He's seeing CAMHS I know they are looking into ADHD and have spoken about emotional disregulation. But either way that does not mean its ok to be physical."

OP also clarifies in another post that he is 6ft 4, she is 5ft 5 and she has an ongoing undiagnosed health condition which leaves her "out of breath even just crossing a room." She also says that her 7/8 year old and 12 year olds are scared of him.

This isn't about the OP not making a child a sandwich and that child having a one off tantrum. This is about a 16 year old whopping great teenager with accompanying adolescent hormones escalating the violence he is committing in his own home. It isn't acceptable, and when verbal aggression turns into physical attack, ESPECIALLY when it's a male against a female, ESPECIALLY when it's a tall person over a short person, ESPECIALLY when it's a fit and strong person over an ill and weak person, it really does need the escalation to be decisively stopped.

is he on adhd medication?

Are any of the fathers involved?

I was waiting for this comment. I knew someone would ask. I'm honestly surprised it took this long.

Have you been in touch with SS today op? I hope they are sorting out emergency accomodation for your son.

He can't come back to the family home, at least not for a while. If, with support/ counselling/ treatment his behaviour improves then it is a possibility. But as it stands you need to keep everyone else safe.

(In the opening post it say he was aggressive before but this was the first time it has turned physical. So it was clear there was a build up)

Why are so many posters assuming the OP hasn't tried everything she possible can in the past.

Some other poster are making up so much crap about this situation it's ridiculous.

I honestly don't want to and it breaks my heart . But I will have to call the police to remove him. I don't have a choice anymore. And when my younger kids are older if they was to get asked if they were exposed to domestic violence the answer from them would be yes. Because they have. Yet if I was on here saying my partner is violent I would be kicked for exposing my kids for it but its ok because it's my sin. Mind you get kicked from posters either way.

You said it. The OP has failed. She has failed to parent demonstrated by her reaction to throw him out into the street and now has an out of control teen. Any parent who thinks throwing their kid out into the street is a viable option clearly has made many many poor parental decisions culminating in this result

Don't listen to this ignorant horseshit OP. This thread has some of the most disgusting, victim-blaming comments I have ever seen on MN.

op @Ds16dv
step away from mumsnet and make a plan,
whatever you think best
good luck

i must agree @RedToothBrush
this is the attitude of so many parents now

@RedToothBrush Truly, you are vile. And based on one of your previous posts you'd do well to look up the dictionary definition of 'violence'.

Your welcome. Thanks.

@Ds16dv
what do you think the police will do?
i hope they point you in the right direction for something construction, for ALL of you

You said it. The OP has failed. She has failed to parent demonstrated by her reaction to throw him out into the street and now has an out of control teen. Any parent who thinks throwing their kid out into the street is a viable option clearly has made many many poor parental decisions culminating in this result

You seem to be either conveniently ignoring or unaware of the ADHD diagnosis and CAMHS involvement. I don't see any evidence of a failure to parent him properly in the lead up to this - he doesn't lack awareness that his violence is wrong, he lacks impulse control....because he has ADHD which is clearly not yet well controlled. Blame the ADHD, possibly blame as yet undiagnosed co-morbidities if you like, but don't blame the parent who is scared for her own safety and that of her younger children, and whose other children aren't out of control. A 6ft 4, 16 year old male full of unregulated testosterone who lacks impulse control is a bloody strong and dangerous human being. If there is ever a time for a shock to help put an increasingly violent young man on a better path, I'd say now is the time. Are you really blaming her for wanting to protect both herself and her younger other children?

Jesus if every teenager was thrown out by their parent for lobbying a single item then god help the country.

But that is not what has happened. This was not an isolated incident and OP has been trying to get the appropriate support for her son. Anyone who has a child with MH issues can tell you that help is simply not available until the family/young person reaches a crisis point.

I was told by one social worker that the appropriate MH services would not be available to my child until she moved from having suicidal ideation to actually making an attempt to kill herself. She was 14 at the time.

Been trying to read all the updates and comments but have a son aged almost 12 with autism adhd and severe challenging behaviours .

a lot of those commenting really have zero idea what life is like living treading on eggshells . I think the poster needs support and understanding . Her son needs caring for yes but I think this is currently an emergency and social services have a duty of care .
my son broke my nose throwing a heavy water bottle at my face . Who knows where this item hit the poster .
my son is also 2:1 care at school , carers etc . I really hope the poster has help ? Care package ?
to the poster it’s vital you let social services know there is a risk to your other children ( I only have one so doesn’t apply to me ) sadly they are only interested if other children at risk not so much the parent . This is just my take on things , my sons disability social worker is lovely but I no my welfare isn’t a priority . I’m trying to find residential school for my son but so far no setting wants him due to the behaviours I presume .

take care of yourself and I echo what another poster said about joining newbold hope- family support group
it’s on Facebook and it’s been amazing source of support , just knowing your not alone

imo op needs support in her management of it