Son hurt me. With this (pic)

[271726a]

My son is 16 he kept going on at me over food . I feel ill. I have food in freezer /cupboards . He does not want it. He would not leave me alone. I feel total shit. My other kids are ill as well. I told him to leave me alone.

He then went to his room. He still kept messaging me over food. I'm the end I went to his room and said stop we are ill you need to stop your 16 your old enough to sort yourself food.

He told me to get out . I did I closed the door. He then came out a throw a bottle at me. It don't seem like much but it really hurt . He's been aggressive in the past. And really nasty . But he's never physically touched me.

I can't take this anymore. I told him tp leave he's gone I have no idea where i think he will contact out of hours social services.

Disabled or not he was asking for help with basic care, food prep.

He. Is. Sixteen. Years. Of. Age.

He can make a fucking sandwich himself or walk to the shop.

This wont stop OP i know this from experience with a family member. Does he use drugs? You’ve done the right thing putting him out regardless of what people are saying here! You’ve shown him his actions have consequences and kept your younger safe by removing him!

Hes 16 - not a young child, hes old enough technically to have children or work so no hes not some helpless child. He has taken the power of your home and its time for you to take it back! This will continue into his 20s and so on if its not nipped in the bud now. This will affect your younger children as well. All children are different and not due to parenting in every case so dont let anyone make you feel you are to blame.

Have a cup of tea and draw out a plan. Give him rules if he wants to live in your home and tell him no matter how dominant he may think he is or how big he is it’s YOUR HOME and you’re the boss! He can live by the rules and have a happy home OR he must leave. ADHD does not excuse abuse and that’s what this is. You aren’t alone OP there are so many in your position and I’ve seen firsthand how damaging it is to all around. Take control and remember you are setting boundaries and rules to benefit all of you in the long run, including your son x

Also even if you're ill you still need to look after your child, it's part of the job.

Seriously? If you're ill you're supposed to get up out of bed to make food for a 16 year old? I'd expect a 16 yr old to be bringing me food!

I've got a 16 year old boy and would never make him homeless over this. He is your son and you can't abdicate responsibility for him, he is a child still. How do you think it is going to end for society if he is a homeless boy at 16.

Social care varies from area to area. We do not where OP is so assuming she is abandoning her son to drug dealers and gangs because she is no longer willing to be abused in her own home is unhelpful.

I personally know 2 youngsters who have been in and out of the care system. One was living in supported accommodation from 16yo. She is now 19 and an assistant manager at a fast food place and has her own home.

The other chose not to be involved with SS once he reached 16 and would flit between my home and his sister's home. He's just finished college and while he's not doing great things with his life and has no plans for the future there are no addiction or gang issues.

Stop painting this 16 year old as a young boy who needs his mummy and a sandwich - This is a 6ft young man who has two hands and is well capable of making a sandwich and should NOT be throwing bottles at his mum because she and the younger children are unwell! You are victim blaming and if this young man doesnt learn consequences now - he may well become a man who destroys his wife’s home and gives her a beating if she is too unwell to make food while tending to young children!!!!

If I had have demanded my mother make me a snack when she was sick so I felt 'a bit loved', she would have gone through me. If she was sick I looked after her when I was 16. It's not healthy to teach your children that you have no needs or vulnerabilities when they are old and capable enough to help out. It just breeds selfishness and entitlement.

Omg he's 16. He knows perfectly well how to cook. He's happy enough to do stir fries and stuff for his friend. He's even admitted to his psychologist he does it on purpose .

Funny how my other kids are fine . But hey must be my shit parenting. Its my fault that my son is verbally aggressive to me and is violent towards me. And now he physically violent. Its the typical pattern of DV abusers . Starts of with a bit of lip. Then controlling the whole house making threats, then starts smashing up items. Then even when you contact professionals nothing is done ..so he gets away with it . He has now escalated it to being physical. I let that go and then I'm fucked

We're infantalising a young adult here. Social services can find him somewhere to stay. The younger children will be safe.

@Ds16dv needs to see a GP or nurse about her breathlessness. It could be allergies, asthma, heart. It needs addressing.

This child in other countries would be considered quite grown up by now and he is violent. We don't allow violence from near enough fully grown adults but then this country seems to allow physiol abuse towards women and calling a 16 year a child, he is a teenager and in 2 years or even less would is called an adult he isnt a child. saying all that police call would have done it, he needs to know this is unacceptable before he hurts future partners or friends etc. He is well above criminal age as well thus not a child.

I would like to know how the Op is supposed to set firm boundaries for a 16 yer old who is much bigger, heavier and stronger than her, and who is prepared to hurt her if he doesnt get his own way?

Mn only need to look at my posting history and they will see where I have spoken about my son in the past and the struggles we have had. And it will tally up

You can call a dv charity for help

How is 'your his parent' crap? I mean it is true she is and she has responsibility for him and his moral outlook. I can't imagine being so dismissive of my son that in a disagreement over food I would advise that he is better off ringing social services, to effectively be taken in to care - talk about shoddy parenting, you can't just give up on your kids. It is telling him you don't want him. If this is the go to parental technique it is shit! Incidentally, my 16 year old has hardly shouted at me, let alone been violent, maybe it is because I don't suggest social services when I can't be asked to discuss his teenage irrational arguments!

He's a 16 year old whose mum won't help prepare him food

I haven't helped any of my kids prepare food since they were around 11/12 if I've been ill or busy. They're all over 16 now and have all survived. 1 of them has mental health issues and guess what? She can still make a fucking sandwich without my assistance.