Do people CHOOSE when they poo?

[Newnamenewname109870]

TMI!!

Just read a thread about going at someone else’s house and how you should wait until your own place, that kind of thing.

Is it weird that I only go if I really need to go, like I’m kind of desperate? There’s no way I could wait and go at a particular place of time like wait until the event’s over. I either need to go or I don’t.

Well it probably isn't great to hold it tbh! I'm poo shy and do whatever I can not to poo elsewhere, but I don't think it's a good thing. My worst nightmare is having to go at work and I will usually try and go on another floor or even another building!! 😳 Wish I was more relaxed about it all.

I can wait when inconvenient and eat plenty of fibre. It's not really holding on though, just that I have warning so can go at the beginning of the window if it's after breakfast before work, or wait up to a couple of hours if I'm out. Just had mushrooms, avocado, tomato and spinach with breakfast. My norm is twice, on waking and after breakfast or once in the morning and once after work.

For the past few days I have been a bit constipated (it is there, just won't come out!). I am rarely like this but just recently it has happened. I hate going in work time because I work on reception and it means asking a porter to stay at the desk. When I want a wee I must go then and there (well, find the nearest loo!).

Yesterday in work I was trying for a number 2 it just wasn't coming. Someone banged on the door and I said I was in there. A little while longer and the person had got some to come with her and they apparently had a good old discussion outside the door! Then they banged again and I yelled out that I was having a poo! Reminded me of that scene in the IT crowd with Moss. His mum banged on the door and he said "Oh! you made it go in again"!

I always go first thing in the morning, and no I can’t stop it.

Oh gosh @Deathraystare, an interruption like that would make my bowel shut up shop again for several days.

I can't choose. I used to be able to but I had radiotherapy to the area and now when I gotta go, I gotta go!!

I'm lucky in that I generally need to poo when I wake up in the morning, or within about half an hour of getting up so I almost always poo at home, once a day. If I needed to go elsewhere though I would, holding it in is really bad for you and I can't understand posters that think it's rude to poo in someone else's toilet..... it's a natural bodily function and what loos are for.

Wee on the other hand is another matter. When I have to go, it's urgent and I can't hold it. I do have a prolapse though.

I'm fortunate enough to go like clockwork every morning usually within 30 minutes of having a coffee. It would be unusual for me to go at any other time of the day so I'm usually at home when the urge strikes!

This is me, my body never needs to go when I'm not at home, because mentally I don't want to. So I've never needed to hold it

No I can't at all, there was an issue at work a few years ago with a group of people complaining about the smell in the work toilets and saying you should "take your poo home"
Inside you I presume 😬😬
But I was baffled by that as it isn't something I have much say in.

Bookstores, libraries - I get that too. It's a thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon

@whataboutme77

a group of people complaining about the smell in the work toilets

Ah, colleagues! I had one who would come back from the toilet and over share about what he smelt (and did!) in there. 'There's a dark brown smell in there!' etc. However it was also him who'd say 'That was a big 'un - I'm two stone lighter!' or, once, 'That was so big, I've got post natal depression!'. But we all laughed and repeated these things to others for laughs, so I guess we didn't mind too much (or at least I didn't).

Say if you had a bad D&V bug, you'd be anxious about certain things wouldn't you - a work meeting, a long car journey, a bus trip, basically going anywhere where a loo wasn't readily available because you know there's a good chance you're going to need it.

That's everyday for me. To the point where I overthink every possible scenario and literally have to map out where the toilets are every single time I go out. It's incredibly draining and has really affected my mental health too - ironically the anxiety of it all has made my IBS ten times worse.

The feeling of needing to go urgently and not being near a loo is horrific. It's sheer panic. I have built up shitting myself into such a massive deal that I almost think it might be a good thing if it actually happened - to prove to me that nobody will die and it isn't worth ruining my life over. How crazy does that sound?!

Wow this has been totally enlightening for me.

I go when I need to - usually 2-3 times per day - and have no qualms about doing it in any toilet, at work/in a cafe/airport etc - that is what they are there for! I could hold it if I had to - eg on a long drive - but if I’m near a toilet and feel like I need to go I will go.

The toilets at my work don't flush properly so I prefer not to poo there (it was discussed as part of induction- love my team!) But i will if necessary.
Generally regular every day. Except when on holiday- I've noticed that when I go away I just don't feel the urge for maybe 4 days which starts making me panic as I dread being constipated having experienced it when pregnant. Strange, it's not a deliberate choice!

I can choose not to go if I need to, I've always been the same. I've never done a poo in work and that's been 25 years, I just wait until I get home. I only ever go at home really unless on holiday or away somewhere. I was the same with having a wee when I was at school, I hated the school toilets so would wait until I got home.

Ok, NASA has figured it out.
Based on people weighing 50-110 kg, so assume this average applies to a 80kg person, I assume that's about avg among MNers too.
300 g production on average per day, done on avg in 2 goes per day.
So someone who can wait 10 days should expect to have .... 3kg of waste waiting to exit.

Do your clothes get tight by end of those 10 days?
Imagine the panic NASA scientists would have if one of their astronauts had shy bowels.

I can hold it but I wouldn't unless I had no choice.

Pretty sure holding shit inside you for hours isn't very healthy 😂

If it helps, you’re not alone. I’m like this too and it’s just awful. I’m off out for lunch shortly and I’m already worrying!

Why? What do you think toilets are there for? You’re putting your health at risk holding off like this.

I’m not sure some of the more carefree pooers are understanding that there is often a psychological backdrop as to why some people don’t or can’t poo at others’ houses/workplaces etc.

Not always, sure, but probably quite often. I had bowel related problems as a child which landed me in hospital for a week under investigation. The whole situation was not handled well at all by the Drs overseeing my care, and I was traumatised by the experience, as well as by certain incidents that happened when I was not in hospital. The result is that I now have a very rigid control over it all. And yes, I agree it is not good for my health to withhold, but it is not an active choice.

I’m not saying that all reticent pooers have had the same experience as me, but another poster mentioned something embarrassing that happened when they were a teenager which has had lasting effects. Others may have had embarrassing public accidents at some time which has stayed with them and affected them longer term.

Most people would not simply choose to not defecate for several days or longer just because they can’t be arsed. There will usually be a reason, either physical/medical or psychological.

If I need a pee, have to go there and then, no way I can hold it.

For the other, unless my medication has decided to back me up, you could set you clock by me. 3:30am every day.

My DH stimulates his bowel movements by drinking 2 litres of liquid first thing. He was gobsmacked that I don't do this, he thought it was a necessary thing. If he doesn't go every day like this he gets very bad pain. It's very annoying though as it takes up so much time! I literally just pooh and go.

Don't know if it's an urban myth or what but I read that builders and other such outdoor workers without access to toilet have highest rates of colorectal cancers due to holding in pooh.

My bowels don't give me much warning. I'm terrified of having to poo anywhere but home in case they don't flush. For days that I go to the office, I bung myself up with eggs/Imodium with the hope of not having to go. I never stay at people's houses because of my fear.