Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

Stroking my hand when going for a meal (he'd have finished his food,but I'd still be eating...(or trying to!)🤬

I've had someone who was tight and would brag about how cheap his shoes were. Would say edinburger and was obsessed with his mums dog.

One who told - a shit - joke during a party, didn't get any responses, and so kept saying it. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

I think I'm better off single because pretty much anything can cause the ick

There’s enough there to give the ick…however on the deafness issue:

It could be that he had the type of deafness that a hearing aid cannot help. If there is no hearing to amplify then hearing aids are pointless.

Would you tell a blind person to get glasses?

A guy I was really attracted to at work.. we flirted for ages but when I actually got up close to him he had two massive hairs on the bridge of his nose. Immediate turn off.

Also my long term ex who was Polish voted UKIP.

Both dumped immediately

@aliensprig it smelt like a mix of stale sawdust, urine and what it ate, so dead stuff. 🤢

No, but I was chatting to one who never smiled on his photos, I can only describe his teeth as “concertina teeth”. He was awfully rude when we met, I guess he didn’t like me at fist sight but the moment he opened his mouth, the realisation came strong and we were even: there was no fucking way I could ever put my mouth near that mouth.

I’m howling at some of these! Just brilliant!

Mr Ace Ventura ‘ very tight pants’ detective - actually he was lovely. But his ridiculously tight y fronts defeated me… I was young, reasonably innocent and just couldn’t cope with the mechanics of it! He also kept doing Jim Carey impressions, just not great! 🤣 Such a shame!

I barely knew him and he asked me to squeeze the spots on his back. I was utterly repulsed. I mean he suggested it like it was a normal thing to do. Absolutely revolting.

This would be a dream come true for plenty on here Send him.over to Sporner Corner!

Christ, my toes are curling just thinking about the joke falling flat. 😬

Called me 'kitten'.

Reader, I married him, only to divorce him.

I've thought of another one. I never met him, we were still at the chatting stage, and I told him DS was having a bunch of mates over for his 13th birthday sleepover. He implied that they'd all be fancying me as a hot mum. Just....so. fucking. wrong.

Consumed my whole face practically whilst kissing me.
Another "you're not going anywhere" basically you're mine forever, turned out to be stalkerish with severe mental health issues.
Another obsessed with anal
One from my teenage years, went to the pictures on first date, barely spoke to me, never offered to pay for anything,,didn't speak a word to me on the train home, I got off saying bye and never contacted him again 😆

Many and varied:

• In hospital following birth of DD. He was wearing my dead uncle's top, complete with a stain, which he'd acquired because it was FREE (he's tight and money-obsessed). Sat there and said loudly, "I don't suppose many of these babies are going home to a £900,000 house!" (It wasn't.)
• Left a hitherto-unseen pair of budgie smugglers, caked in lumps of shit, in a drawer which I later found.
• wore incredibly tight tops to show off his biceps and pecs (he did a lot of weight training) which also highlighted his pot belly - general impression was of an overstuffed sausage.
• Boasted "I can drink two bottles of wine and it doesn't even have any effect!" as if it were something to be proud of.
• Secretly re-used tea bags (see "tight" above). I'd get a cup out of the cupboard to find a half-dried tea bag in it that he'd fished out of the morning cup of tea to use for someone else. We were not poor at the time.

Same bloke. Am nearly through with the divorce.

Good God
I bet that divorce can’t come soon enough

One was a very noisy kisser... you know, the slurping kissing sounds? i cant stand them, they make me sick... So that was done (after years of having a crush as well!! Devastating)

Another had such a messy room, i couldnt quite walk through it without stepping over... everything. You couldnt see the floor, basically. And the I went to the bathroom, and the sink was full of beard trimmings.
I just... couldnt after that

Another sweated on me so profusely during sex I was disgusted... like actual drops of sweat falling on my face... I feel sick just thinking about it. NEXT!

OH!!!!!!!

And another one!
Wed just met, out at a bar with some friends, he was my friends brother. We hit it off. Great!
And then he starts declaring his undying love for me... How he wanted me to be his girlfriend. Dude had known me for 1h, and we were in a dark, noisy bar, so conversation hadnt been that deep.

He took me home, later, still professing his love (WTF?!?!) and somehow I managed to not give him my number, and told his sister it wasnt meant to be!

Bogies stuck behind his bedroom curtain.

A weird green stain on one of his teeth that did not scrub off.

Obsession with women being perfect and demure despite factors like the above.

The Waitrose spread just made me cry laughing!

Had a shrine to Frank Sinatra. He was 20.

Any age would do that for me. Give me the ick I mean.

@CeliaCanth

Dear God. You poor thing.

Gourmet spread guy sounds like my kind of guy 😂 I may have been known to do similar!

DH smokes a Hamlet cigar if he needs a little bit of cheering up. Like in the TV ads. He says he supposes it is a tribute to the power of suggestion.

Ummm... how did get so far as to find out he was bad at sex with all his other glowing attributes ?