Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

He'd rummage through my cupboards and fridge asking annoying questions or making stupid comments. 'What's in the foil?' Leftovers from my lunch. 'Ooh a mouse has been at these chocolate bars' No I obviously ate one you clot. My kitchen at the time had very little storage space so I left a bottle of cooking wine by the hob. After the third separate time of him asking why the wine was there I ended up shouting at him and realised I just couldn't be with someone so annoying.

I dated an Italian who was the same.

It didn't matter how many times women said,"🎂 "Ooh, an Italian Stallion - lucky you!" Or men were intimidated by it (yes, had a few who backed off once they knew I'd dated an Italian!) It didn't make it true! 🤣

Picking his nose in bed and flicking it so much so I used to find bogies stuck to the wall.

I am weeping with laughter at these posts. Thank you for sharing.

I worked in a luxury hotel, on my birthday he said he’d meet me for lunch. I met him in the foyer, he led me to the seating area and gave me a ham sandwich wrapped in tin foil from his carrier bag.

On a phone call asked why women found a mutual friend so attractive. I said it was because he was the “rough and ready” type. On our next date, he arrived freshly showered and smelling amazing but wearing some old DIY clothes to try and look “rough and ready”

My husband has fully shat the bed three times. As in an actual full poo. He's 39, we got together when he was 36, definitely old enough to know better!

Oh @Jonnycat, I find that quite sweet!

Crying at the Tesco bag-chaser and the giant toddler in the hand knitted cardigan 😂

My most notable ones:

The guy who said he didn't have kids, then on our first date admitted he had a daughter. It transpired that she had the same first and middle names as me, which he thought I'd find sweet rather than creepy.

Another who asked if we could go to a different pub because he needed a poo and there was no toilet roll in the gents. At least he didn't ask me for a tissue, I guess.

I dated someone for a few months. He was a bit shorter than me but his height in isolation wasn't what caused my ick. I'm 5' 5 and a size 14/16 while he was 5' 4 and had a 26" waist. He admitted that he wore women's jeans because men's were all too big. Then one day we were walking along and I just felt massive and lumbering beside him. It was a LDR and I dumped him as soon as I got home 😬

He had rounded shoulders.

He had a pudgy belly.

He had flat feet.

He was sweaty.

He had a weird snaggle tooth that he was actually quite proud of.

He has permanent tan lines so always looked like he was wearing a 1920s bathing suit.

He used to sing "Tricky" by Run DMC while waving his head from side-to-side like a Jack-in-a-box.

He told me that he once put a pencil up his arse to see if he could find his G-spot.

He used to mindlessly rub his index finger over his chest, balling up dry skin, and then eat it.

^This was all one man. What a fucking catch.

"Custards" 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

I also think @Jonnycat's fella sounds rather cute!

Unfortunately, yes. I used to be married to one.

@Booklover40 "One who referred to the huge zits on his back as “custards” and asked me to squeeze them. Also was losing his hair (at age 20) and gelled his fringe into 5 or 6 separate strands"

Custards has me absolutely creasing. That's so grim. I love it

First one, not domestically trained. He offered to put the salt in my dishwasher and proceeded to empty a whole 1.5kg bag in to the bottom of the dishwasher. In a pile. He didn't even spread it out.

Second one, friend of a friend (now in my wider friendship group, awkward) set up for a date once I'd finished with a long term partner. He was basically looking for his mother. Date was like an interview, he barely smiled and just reeled off question after question. When I finally managed to ask him about his hobbies (out of politeness), they included driving his car to local places and taking photos of it. He's 34 now and still hasn't found 'the one'. We always have an awkward hug when we see each other 🙄

DH says his mother taught him how to wash his arse, and the thought of it being liable to make brown marks makes him feel sick.

Got himself a mod haircut, with long bits in front of his ears. He had curly hair so they sort of stuck out at the side like weird cows horns. Couldn't even kiss him after that, I'd been going off him anyway but that was it for me.

Popped into town together, I realised I had forgot my bank card in subway. He paid for mine (£3.50) and instantly asked when he would get the money back. I said as soon as we get home...

On the way home (about a 10 minute journey!), he asked if he could have the money back, I reminded him we weren't even home yet and I could still feel the sandwich going down my bloody gullet

I ended up pulling over and bank transferring him the money there and then just to shut him up

Shortly after I ended it 😂

Secretly 😂

Some of these are just utterly nauseating and would give ANYONE the ick.

Some just an unusual trait that some would find perfectly acceptable and not get the ick over it.

So I'm not only nauseated but thinking, wouldn't everyone be put off by that?

Anyway, a guy I knew used to raise his eyebrows in a certain way, something which may be totally acceptable to some but drove me mad.

First time going back to "his" place, at the front door he said we'd have to be really quiet so his mother wouldn't know he'd brought a girl home. He was 40. We sneaked into his bedroom and I began to regret my choices. However, we started having sex and he said in a really breathy "sexy" growl: "So deep, so deep within you." Afterwards I got dressed and let myself out. Banged the front door shut Really Loudly! Take that, mother!

And after "so deep" man, there was one who said in his previously adorable Irish accent: "I'm riding you, like a little pony."
I am sooo not a fan of "sexy" talk in bed.

Haha did he say that when he shit the bed 😂

Re: the skid mark stories- on a practical note, how does this actually happen? Surely the anus or it’s very close surrounds must be in contact with the sheets? Or are we talking about people who have bumcracks just filled with poo? And if the latter… how are these men even getting laid at all?
Confused.

@Palmfrond haha wondering what that smell was following you around all night 😂

Crikey I could write a book after online dating for ten years!

Here are the highlights , every story a different person! -

Guy would not go down on me because I was on HRT, he said they did blood tests at work and he would lose his job!?!

Men with willies smaller than my fingers, seriously I have given birth to 2 x 10lb babies you really think I am going to notice that inside me?

Guy who said after our first shag "I have never bonked a fat girl before, are you going on a diet?"

Guy who thought his spit was KY jelly!?!

First and only date he showered me with gifts every ten minutes in pizza express explaining how when we get married how our financial arrangements will work. I owned a house, he was renting. He then secretly moved 100 miles from where he lived to be near my home, so he could attend social events I was going to. He had so much cream cheese around his willy I suggested he may have gonorrhea , he did a video call to dad who said he was fine!

First date - met at a bar he ordered two pints of beer, I said I do not drink and drive , he drunk both pints and said he did not bring his wallet, left me to pay, and went out for a fag, after assuring me he was a non smoker online

Another said "I don't date fat girls" fair enough, but then went on to marry a girl bigger than me who was also balding!

Man boys - don't work, don't drive, live with mummy, do not even know how to operate a microwave, looking for a sugar mummy to take care of them. I already have two kids, do not want anymore thanks!

One girl (yes I am bi so you would think double my chances, but alas NOPE!) used to hang around outside where I worked and stood by the door when I finished explaining to me about her anger management therapy is going well, and she kept snakes.

Nasal hair, ear hair, wild untamed eyebrows, smoking, bad teeth - yes it is Michael Gove in a nutshell folks!

Swearing excessively is a major ICK too!

Amazingly I did find someone, who said "I like girls with a bit of meat on their bones, fed me chocolates on our first date" = keeper, married now!