Reasons why you got the ick

[NoEffingWay]

To start with, just to confirm this is lighthearted

I have had a few over the years:

1. wore a yellow coat. He looked like a banana with 90's sunglasses
2. would burp and then declare he was 'bilious' 🤢
3. had clammy hands, it was like holding hands with a damp sponge

All were passion killers, and the second was enough to whip out the divorce papers. Reader, I married him before he turned into Steptoe! (Couldn't put that on the application form but came close )

Maybe 6 months in dating a guy at uni. He went home for the weekend, texted me to say he was really ill with a stomach bug - both ends.

I was totally sympathetic until he casually dropped in that he 'had support' - transpired his Mum, Dad AND sister were in the bathroom with him mid shit/puke 'as a handhold'.

No underlying health conditions or anything...just a regular bug that apparently required an audience.

Thought it was a terrible joke.Twasn't.

😂

He was a smoker and I am a non-smoker.

He went for a smoke outside and then jumped into bed and tried to cuddle up to me.

I knew that moment that it was over.

Kept saying "you'll have to dumb it down for me love" in conversation

I already thought I was 😳

Dearie me...😬

Where do these men get the idea women like that sort of 'dirty talk'??

I had a first and only date with someone who looked like superman. He went into a very very long monologue of his life and achievements and at some point he mentioned something that we had in common so I said “oh, I have done that as well, it was a great experience!”.

He looked at me, said “tsk tsk… let’s finish with me first and then you will have your turn to talk”.

I made my excuses and left the restaurant.

Any guy who lives with his parents past 25 would turn me off. I'm allowing for societal changes. In 'my' day it would be 20.
Usual caveats apply such as briefly moving back home for one reason or another but a guy who shows no sign of actually wanting to move out in the first place and be independent is obviously a dud.

A guy who was saving for a mortgage would be perhaps a good responsible husband in time and not a write off as a human being, and definitely not in the same category as a cocklodger in waiting just waiting for a replacement mummy, still though any guy who is vaguely sexy and alpha wants to move out ASAP and would rather sacrifice comfort for independence.

I had one who invited me over for dinner which turned out to be stuffed green peppers. This was ok except they were stone cold. I didn’t mind as he had obviously gone to a lot of trouble but he kept asking me if I liked them and I had to lie and say yes, lovely thanks.

After the peppers we sat down to watch tv with two of his flatmates, who I had never met before, and my date left the room and was gone for a good hour. I was getting increasingly uncomfortable sitting in a room with two silent strangers not knowing what was going on and not feeling able to go and look for my date.

He eventually came back and we went to his bedroom to go to bed. I asked him where he’d got to after dinner and he said he had gone for “a long poo”. We actually got into bed while I was processing this information but as he went to put his arm around me I just couldn’t. I jumped up saying I had forgotten I needed to get home and i blazed out of there… uugh.

Previously he had sent me a text from the bathroom of my mother’s house when we were staying over there saying “can you come here for a minute please”. When I arrived he wanted to show me his sore toe, wtf? Should have ended it there and then and not had to endure the peppers and long poo talk.

Blind date. Was a lefty bore who had a go at me for my children attending private school.

First time having sex with someone - he went “you’re amaze, you’re amaze, you’re amaze” with each thrust ending with “you’re amaz-ZING!!!” when he finished. Never tried a second time.

Seemingly otherwise normal bloke who asked if “he could penetrate me” in a weirdly husky voice.

The one who burped and “oooh, pardies, got windy-pops”. He was very fond of mainsplaining things to me as if I were his teenaged daughter and I think he forgot I was in my 50s.

One who started to pet my face like he was stroking a horse's nose - so his big hand kept wafting over my face meaning I have only seen about 50% of Bird Box (but heard 100%). Told me he knew I'd like it because his grandma used to do it to him 😳

One who called my genitals 'she'. Is she ready, does she want him etc. Bleurgh.

One who called his cock Tim and he translated what Tim was wanting and feeling. Again, Bleurgh.

One who couldn't sit on grass because 'what if there are bugs and creatures'. I was a gardener so that was a hard cringe from me.

One who went to customer services in big Tesco (when we were already late for something) with 2 different packs of strawberries that were the same size but different prices and asked to know why. Apparently is was because some were local, some weren't but IT DIDN'T FUCKING MATTER DID IT, ROBERT? I just knew I'd never be on the same wavelength.

From the few boyfriends I have had:

One had a mum help him do his uni coursework

One told me that going to the gym gave him diarrhoea.

One replied to my text saying I couldn't go over to his place that evening:

'No fair :-( I wanna be inside you'

Ick.

I became a lesbian soon afterwards.

Eat your shorts Robert 😅

Reading these posts makes me wonder if men are aware of the ick, cos it doesn't look like it!

@Ameanstreakamilewide I told my husband about this thread and he was bemused. If he is a typical man then no, they don’t know that we get the ick, and they also don’t really get the ick about women. They either fancy us or they don’t apparently. It’s not complicated for them. 😂

Then why do so many of them decide to 'ditch the wife and trade her in for a younger model'?

Even the phrase 'ditch the wife and trade her in for a younger model' gives me the ick.

I'm howling laughing at these and my husband asks what I'm laughing at. I read a couple out and he shrugs. Can't see what the men are doing that's so funny 🤷‍♂️

@johnworf My husband was puzzled by the one about chasing a carrier bag around Tesco car park which I found particularly funny. I had to really explain to him why it was funny and why a woman might be put off by seeing a man do that.

@Thelnebriati, truthfully I don’t know because male behaviour can be a mystery to me, but I don’t think it’s the ‘ick’ as such. I’ve always thought it’s not so much that they ‘go off’ the current partner, but rather that they dislike what they see as the monotony/drudgery of settled life so they get bored, or their ego is flattered by attention from someone younger.

That feathery touch that makes you recoil

Omg yes I've never expressed that to myself in words before but yes. I've briefly flirted with guys who tried this and the ick was so extreme we never even got to dating.

Men, do not do the feathery touch thing

This is quite mild compared to others but on our second date he took it upon himself to tell me that he preferred my hair when it was longer.

I think what your husband means is whether they wanna shag a woman or they don’t 😂

They’ve got to be unaware, as otherwise why keep doing it!😂

I genuinely think it’s to do with peri-menopause