Just needed to tell someone.
I'm really not ok.
I can't explain to anyone irl because I'll either scare them shitless and they're helpless to do anything, or they won't care to do anything, or I have to be chirpy to avoid scaring them off and try to have some semblance of social life. (All different people, not just vague worries.)
But I am really not ok. Been crying for the best part of a week now. With intermittent keeping the normal cheery face on.
I have no idea how to continue with my life.
Want to shout from the rooftops I'M NOT OK but can't, so writing it here.