Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I am not ok

35 replies

MoonInTheNight · 10/06/2023 01:36

Just needed to tell someone.
I'm really not ok.
I can't explain to anyone irl because I'll either scare them shitless and they're helpless to do anything, or they won't care to do anything, or I have to be chirpy to avoid scaring them off and try to have some semblance of social life. (All different people, not just vague worries.)
But I am really not ok. Been crying for the best part of a week now. With intermittent keeping the normal cheery face on.
I have no idea how to continue with my life.
Want to shout from the rooftops I'M NOT OK but can't, so writing it here.

OP posts:
ColinRobinsonsFart · 10/06/2023 01:51

I am not ok either.
would you like to shout with me?
safety in numbers…

💐

cinderellaman · 10/06/2023 01:52

I'm not ok either 🙃

SeaToSki · 10/06/2023 01:53

The vipers of mumsnet are here for you both. Would it help to talk a little bit about why you are not ok?

MidsummerNightsDream · 10/06/2023 01:55

Oh, love I’m so sorry to read this. I really think that you need to confide in someone. There are people who love you very much and would want to know how you’re feeling. I’m sending a big hug and hopefully others will be along with good advice but whatever you do, keep getting up and breathing. Sometimes in life that’s all you can do but that’s enough for now until things improve which in my experience they eventually always do. x

StopStartStop · 10/06/2023 02:05

there are people who love you very much
There might be, or there might not. And quite often, even if we are loved, we don't feel it. I have what I describe as an (emotional) abyss, an inner yawning chasm that needs love, which can never be filled.

@MoonInTheNight Are you actively harming yourself, is someone harming you, has someone hurt you? MNers are great at pointing the way forward, there's lots of experience and goodwill here. Do you know what is wrong? Are you able to tell us?

mayorofcasterbridge · 10/06/2023 02:18

I'm not ok either. Life just isn't easy. I'm off sick from work because of my bitch micromanaging manager. She still won't leave me alone. I won't harm myself or anything like that, because there are too many people in my life who would be hurt if I did, plus I don't want to not be here either.

I just want peace and space x

AlwaysPlayingYellowCar · 10/06/2023 04:54

I am not ok either. I’ll shout with you.

Rainbowqueeen · 10/06/2023 05:33

💐 for you all. I hope things improve soon.

NorthWestThree · 10/06/2023 05:50

I'm sorry to hear you are not OK. It's hard to feel you have no one to talk to.
Can you tell us a bit about what's going on? Is there a reason you are not OK?

MidsummerNightsDream · 10/06/2023 08:21

StopStartStop · 10/06/2023 02:05

there are people who love you very much
There might be, or there might not. And quite often, even if we are loved, we don't feel it. I have what I describe as an (emotional) abyss, an inner yawning chasm that needs love, which can never be filled.

@MoonInTheNight Are you actively harming yourself, is someone harming you, has someone hurt you? MNers are great at pointing the way forward, there's lots of experience and goodwill here. Do you know what is wrong? Are you able to tell us?

I know that; been there. That’s why its so important it’s pointed out. Very unlikely there’s absolutely no one that cares.

Original poster
MoonInTheNight · 10/06/2023 12:36

There are people who care but they are not the people best placed to actually do anything that helps. So it's just worrying for them.

StopStartStop I have what I describe as an (emotional) abyss, an inner yawning chasm that needs love, which can never be filled.

Relate to this so much. Didn't even realise it was there exactly, until I was so very loved by a kind and gentle person for a bit. So much past trauma was healed by this and for the first time in my life I was living, not just surviving. Even though life obviously still had ups and downs there was such a different quality to life, I felt like it was all worth it and I was so lucky.
He sort of ran away ... Not physically but from the situation. We couldn't stay together because he didn't want any more children and I couldn't bear not having the chance. Not going into it here but he felt similarly to me and sort of in awe of how well we understood and supported each other and laughed a lot and agreed on so much, but sort of ran away emotionally from it all. Actually said stuff that indicated this.

This is not why I am sad, exactly, but it's the thing that made the difference. There's been a lot of things in my life that cause such sadness (and the effects of these things are big in my life), but it all seemed worth it and meaningful when we were close. The healing element, the living not surviving, outlasted him but wanes a little more every day. Now I realise I am back to surviving.

Thank you all for replying, and I'm so sorry others feel the same. I hear you. x

OP posts:
Original poster
MoonInTheNight · 10/06/2023 12:42

ColinRobinsonsFart · 10/06/2023 01:51

I am not ok either.
would you like to shout with me?
safety in numbers…

💐

Yes let's shout!
Un-mumsnetty hugs (if enough people say that are they now mumsnetty?)

I love your username. Took me ages to remember where I know the name from...

OP posts:
KevinDeBrioche · 10/06/2023 12:50

Not ok either. Big hugs OP.

Gazelda · 10/06/2023 12:59

Sending a big hug to everyone struggling right now. I wish I could help, or advise.

All I can do is sympathise and tell you that I've been there. I spent many, many years in limbo. Waiting and wanting life to start. I understand how numbing it feels and how it can be difficult to find the slightest hope.

I truly hope that each of you find happiness.

weegiemum · 10/06/2023 13:03

I'm not ok either! I think I need to up the dose of my antidepressants but I can't face calling the GP. I'm just ..,, flat. No joy in life, no idea how to regain it. I've been on ads for over half my life and in the end they all stop working.

Just feeling crap today

beachcomber70 · 10/06/2023 13:09

Not ok either. I'm home on my own [every single day] and it's the only place I want to be now.

Oddsocks55 · 10/06/2023 13:13

Sending love to all those who aren't ok (not very mumsnetty, i know). Please talk here if you want to xx

Rainbowsandfairies · 10/06/2023 16:25

Im here with you virtually I've not long come out of the worst depression of my life. There is light at the end if the tunnel and I want to give u hope! Do 1 thing everyday just for you- a bath, a walk, a guided meditation 🧘‍♀️ etc etc hugs 🫂

Franticbutterfly · 10/06/2023 19:08

Please get some help in the form of therapy if this is an option for you.

husbandcallsmepickle · 10/06/2023 19:14

The Samaritans are great for calling whenever you're feeling like this x

ThisIsTheGreatestShow · 10/06/2023 19:18

Not at all ok either. Feeling totally unvalued which is making me physically and mentally unwell

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 10/06/2023 19:45

I do sometimes feel like I'm not ok. But sane me tells me as long as I can feel I'm not ok, I'm OK.
People truly not ok has no way to post a thread saying you are not OK. So, you are ok.
Doesn't mean it doesn't matter what you feel. You are right to post and rant. That's a great way to destress yourself.

BCBird · 10/06/2023 19:49

Another one who us not ok. Lost inner peace. Big hug to u all.

ArcticBells · 10/06/2023 19:53

weegiemum · 10/06/2023 13:03

I'm not ok either! I think I need to up the dose of my antidepressants but I can't face calling the GP. I'm just ..,, flat. No joy in life, no idea how to regain it. I've been on ads for over half my life and in the end they all stop working.

Just feeling crap today

All the same for me. I'm not ok but battling on

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 10/06/2023 20:06

For the OP and everyone else on this thread who is sadly struggling right now, I wanted to share our https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health Mental Health Resources with you. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

Swipe left for the next trending thread