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Ioan Gruffudd daughter in news

640 replies

HelenaBellena · 08/06/2023 06:43

Again this is in the news with him getting a restraining order. I always thought Alice was nuts but I've been reading that Ioan isn't as nice as he makes out. And those silly staged pics of him and his girlfriend.

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wayyour · 09/06/2023 12:29

Yes, won't the children, especially the older girl, have some sort of say? Re. custody arrangements, and which parent they live with etc

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 12:38

wayyour · 09/06/2023 12:29

Yes, won't the children, especially the older girl, have some sort of say? Re. custody arrangements, and which parent they live with etc

They are minors, Ioan hasn't done anything criminal, of course he is allowed to have some custody of his children. It is Alice that has the restraining order against her. What should happen to them if she loses custody?

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 12:47

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 12:38

They are minors, Ioan hasn't done anything criminal, of course he is allowed to have some custody of his children. It is Alice that has the restraining order against her. What should happen to them if she loses custody?

Show quote history

Whether he has done anything criminal or not, is not the issue here.

The issue is that his children only want to spend time with him, not Bianca. They don’t even want to meet her. How can he possibly have shared custody if his living situation is causing this much distress to his kids.

wayyour · 09/06/2023 12:54

They are minors, Ioan hasn't done anything criminal, of course he is allowed to have some custody of his children

I'm not saying he has done anything criminal or shouldn't be allowed access or custody. I meant, given the age of the children, that their wishes might have some bearing on the custody arrangements. In the UK I believe it can be taken into consideration from as young as eight years.

wayyour · 09/06/2023 12:56

And what @Vivi0 said

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 13:04

He is dragging a fucking chaperone around with him during his contact sessions with his daughters, despite Ella telling him it makes her uncomfortable and that she doesn’t like it.

He is forcing contact with his girlfriend, despite Ella telling him that she doesn’t want to spend time with her.

His response to Ella being upset and communicating that to her father, was to tell her she would need to see a therapist before he would see her again.

Ella is a child, Ioan is supposed to be the adult. He’s hardly dialling back on the drama himself, is he?

I can't blame him for the chaperone personally - as a public figure any serious allegations would be career ending and probably start a witch hunt, it's the nature of the beast sadly. And it's not exactly unthinkable that she would make an accusation - the one she's made in this instance (and yes I know this is speculation) comes across like a blatant exaggeration and twisting of an accident to suit her viewpoint.

I can't really blame him for insisting on therapy, either, it sounds like she needs it. I do think he sounded a bit cold in the therapy texts but at the same time, if it was behaviour on a level with this that sparked it, I'm not surprised he's taken a hard line.

I agree that he shouldn't be forcing her to meet his girlfriend, yes. Though as a side note to that she does live there so I do question how much he actually agreed to the demand that she not be there.

Is it any wonder Ella is acting the way she is when she is trying to communicate with a father who doesn’t listen to a word she says and completely refuses to acknowledge how she feels. Fuck, that is frustrating enough to deal with as an adult. I can forgive her for throwing some milk on his bed ffs.

I wouldn't dismiss this behaviour as "throwing some milk on his bed ffs". I would be horrified and deeply concerned if my child acted like that - particularly since it was not just throwing some milk that happened to be in her hands at random, but more premeditated and vindictive than that. The instinct to behave this way would worry me greatly, and could result in some very problematic behaviours in adulthood.

hotjuneafternoon · 09/06/2023 13:13

didn't she have a fiancé, 8 year relationship, who she left for Ioan? Strange that she's taking such a lofty stance on infidelity.

wayyour · 09/06/2023 13:16

And it's not exactly unthinkable that she would make an accusation - the one she's made in this instance (and yes I know this is speculation) comes across like a blatant exaggeration and twisting of an accident to suit her viewpoint.

I feel uncomfortable with the above. Saying you disbelieve a child, and that they're exaggerating, who is saying they have been abused and has bruises.

Whether it was an accident or not (the door was slammed to prevent her leaving the room apparently) it seems to have happened during a heated row and that sounds like a completely unacceptable situation and environment.

The children do need some therapy, certainly. I agree about that.

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 13:28

wayyour · 09/06/2023 13:16

And it's not exactly unthinkable that she would make an accusation - the one she's made in this instance (and yes I know this is speculation) comes across like a blatant exaggeration and twisting of an accident to suit her viewpoint.

I feel uncomfortable with the above. Saying you disbelieve a child, and that they're exaggerating, who is saying they have been abused and has bruises.

Whether it was an accident or not (the door was slammed to prevent her leaving the room apparently) it seems to have happened during a heated row and that sounds like a completely unacceptable situation and environment.

The children do need some therapy, certainly. I agree about that.

Yes, I know, people find it uncomfortable. But the fact is sometimes accusations are pretty hard to believe and, deep down, people won't believe them.

I wouldn't say to her that I refuse to believe her and I'd take what she's saying seriously... but no I don't really think it's likely that how she summarised it is accurate.

All of her language suggested this was something she would describe in the most negative terms, we know she doesn't want to see her and this would be a convenient excuse, it's easy to see how somebody would slam a door and someone still be a bit closer than they thought... and then why that person, whose just had a meltdown, hates you and actively wants to never have to see you, would exaggerate that event, possibly even in their own heads. On the flip side, it's hard to see why on Earth Bianca would do it deliberately.

I specifically said it was speculation because I don't think it's right to assume she's lying... but if I had to, I'd bet money that she was. All the signs are there.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 13:47

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 13:04

He is dragging a fucking chaperone around with him during his contact sessions with his daughters, despite Ella telling him it makes her uncomfortable and that she doesn’t like it.

He is forcing contact with his girlfriend, despite Ella telling him that she doesn’t want to spend time with her.

His response to Ella being upset and communicating that to her father, was to tell her she would need to see a therapist before he would see her again.

Ella is a child, Ioan is supposed to be the adult. He’s hardly dialling back on the drama himself, is he?

I can't blame him for the chaperone personally - as a public figure any serious allegations would be career ending and probably start a witch hunt, it's the nature of the beast sadly. And it's not exactly unthinkable that she would make an accusation - the one she's made in this instance (and yes I know this is speculation) comes across like a blatant exaggeration and twisting of an accident to suit her viewpoint.

I can't really blame him for insisting on therapy, either, it sounds like she needs it. I do think he sounded a bit cold in the therapy texts but at the same time, if it was behaviour on a level with this that sparked it, I'm not surprised he's taken a hard line.

I agree that he shouldn't be forcing her to meet his girlfriend, yes. Though as a side note to that she does live there so I do question how much he actually agreed to the demand that she not be there.

Is it any wonder Ella is acting the way she is when she is trying to communicate with a father who doesn’t listen to a word she says and completely refuses to acknowledge how she feels. Fuck, that is frustrating enough to deal with as an adult. I can forgive her for throwing some milk on his bed ffs.

I wouldn't dismiss this behaviour as "throwing some milk on his bed ffs". I would be horrified and deeply concerned if my child acted like that - particularly since it was not just throwing some milk that happened to be in her hands at random, but more premeditated and vindictive than that. The instinct to behave this way would worry me greatly, and could result in some very problematic behaviours in adulthood.

I don’t agree about the chaperone. I find it inflammatory, actually. I know Alice made a comment to Ioan about doing an Amber Heard on him, but that was what, 2 years ago, and it has nothing to do with his daughters. His daughters aren’t their mother and it seems that they are being punished because of her. They just want to see their dad, they are going to contact with him. However, Ella has told him the chaperone upsets her, and I don’t blame her for that. She must feel like her father can’t trust her, and that is horrible. What has she done (not her mum) for him to treat her like that?

I mean, really, what has she actually done? What is Ella’s big crime, apart from her mother being Alice? Ella is in a terrible position where not only are her parents divorcing, but she is her mother’s emotional support, the divorce is incredibly public and acrimonious, she has had to move home, move school, from her perspective, she has lost her father to Bianca.

Of course she is acting out. Of course she should be in therapy. But her parents should be listening to her and acknowledging her feelings about everything that is going on. She is not in control of any of it. Ioan doesn’t seem to care about how things seem from Ella’s perspective. I wonder if he attributes all of Ella’s feelings to Alice “brainwashing” her too. She couldn’t be any clearer in calling out for her dad’s attention, could she? Him responding in a cold manner, or with arranged pap shots of him and Bianca laughing, are not what this girl needs.

WheresSpring · 09/06/2023 13:58

Can I just point out that not everyone with MS is thoroughly disabled or weak? Yes, for many the condition is extremely debilitating however for many it is effectively managed and controlled. My mate in her late 40s, diagnosed with MS 20 years ago, ran the marathon this year and regularly competes at other sports. We obv don’t know the severity of IG’s girlfriend’s MS but to say she’s most likely weaker than a 13yo is reaching in the extreme!

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 13:58

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 13:28

Yes, I know, people find it uncomfortable. But the fact is sometimes accusations are pretty hard to believe and, deep down, people won't believe them.

I wouldn't say to her that I refuse to believe her and I'd take what she's saying seriously... but no I don't really think it's likely that how she summarised it is accurate.

All of her language suggested this was something she would describe in the most negative terms, we know she doesn't want to see her and this would be a convenient excuse, it's easy to see how somebody would slam a door and someone still be a bit closer than they thought... and then why that person, whose just had a meltdown, hates you and actively wants to never have to see you, would exaggerate that event, possibly even in their own heads. On the flip side, it's hard to see why on Earth Bianca would do it deliberately.

I specifically said it was speculation because I don't think it's right to assume she's lying... but if I had to, I'd bet money that she was. All the signs are there.

Show quote history

I don’t think Bianca did anything deliberate at all. But I do believe something happened with the door.

Even if it was accidental, it’s not great is it. It has left a visible bruise on Ella. She is only 13. How does Bianca, who has never met the children before, get involved in a situation where she manages to catch Ella in the door?

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 14:03

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 13:47

I don’t agree about the chaperone. I find it inflammatory, actually. I know Alice made a comment to Ioan about doing an Amber Heard on him, but that was what, 2 years ago, and it has nothing to do with his daughters. His daughters aren’t their mother and it seems that they are being punished because of her. They just want to see their dad, they are going to contact with him. However, Ella has told him the chaperone upsets her, and I don’t blame her for that. She must feel like her father can’t trust her, and that is horrible. What has she done (not her mum) for him to treat her like that?

I mean, really, what has she actually done? What is Ella’s big crime, apart from her mother being Alice? Ella is in a terrible position where not only are her parents divorcing, but she is her mother’s emotional support, the divorce is incredibly public and acrimonious, she has had to move home, move school, from her perspective, she has lost her father to Bianca.

Of course she is acting out. Of course she should be in therapy. But her parents should be listening to her and acknowledging her feelings about everything that is going on. She is not in control of any of it. Ioan doesn’t seem to care about how things seem from Ella’s perspective. I wonder if he attributes all of Ella’s feelings to Alice “brainwashing” her too. She couldn’t be any clearer in calling out for her dad’s attention, could she? Him responding in a cold manner, or with arranged pap shots of him and Bianca laughing, are not what this girl needs.

Show quote history

Ella hacked into his Instagram account and posted derogatory and defamatory messages, of course she can't be trusted.

I agree however that none of this is of her making or her fault, she desperately needs and deserves help. Unfortunately she is not getting that help living with her mother.

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:11

@Vivi0 If a third party had been there at the alleged door incident, can you not see how that would have been beneficial? One meeting without someone there, and immediately there's an accusation. The chaperone - or at least someone impartial - there is a no brainer.

From the sound of it, Ella has done a lot of things. Lots of acting out, meltdowns such as this one. Don't get me wrong, I feel desperately sorry for her, and SOME acting out is to be expected (though I think the bed incident crossed a line). But I don't think the response from him - besides continuing to push for her to meet Bianca, is that surprising. Needing a third party because otherwise she will make accusations, pushing for her to be in therapy, refusing to take her on expensive days out immediately after terrible behaviour. None of this seems out of line to me.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:11

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 14:03

Ella hacked into his Instagram account and posted derogatory and defamatory messages, of course she can't be trusted.

I agree however that none of this is of her making or her fault, she desperately needs and deserves help. Unfortunately she is not getting that help living with her mother.

Show quote history

Bear in mind that at the time, her father had just told her that he couldn’t afford to pay for her school anymore, and that she would have to leave her school, and her home, whilst he was simultaneously posting about a film he was producing for Bianca.

Thankfully, most parents understand that their children act out when hurt, and don’t label them for life based on things they did when they were 12 years old.

Is that it? Is that her big crime?

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:14

Even if it was accidental, it’s not great is it. It has left a visible bruise on Ella. She is only 13. How does Bianca, who has never met the children before, get involved in a situation where she manages to catch Ella in the door?

No, it's not, but an accidental door slam resulting in a nudge in the arm is VERY different from what she described and would warrant a very different response.

She could have got involved in any number of ways depending on the nature of the conversation, maybe Ella was addressing her directly? Maybe she was throwing her things and she was herding her away? Who knows.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:22

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:11

@Vivi0 If a third party had been there at the alleged door incident, can you not see how that would have been beneficial? One meeting without someone there, and immediately there's an accusation. The chaperone - or at least someone impartial - there is a no brainer.

From the sound of it, Ella has done a lot of things. Lots of acting out, meltdowns such as this one. Don't get me wrong, I feel desperately sorry for her, and SOME acting out is to be expected (though I think the bed incident crossed a line). But I don't think the response from him - besides continuing to push for her to meet Bianca, is that surprising. Needing a third party because otherwise she will make accusations, pushing for her to be in therapy, refusing to take her on expensive days out immediately after terrible behaviour. None of this seems out of line to me.

Oh, I can understand why he would maybe want a chaperone at the meeting with Bianca. But knowing how it was going to go down, why did he even put his children in that situation in the first place.

I don’t understand why he insists on a chaperone on days out with just him and his two daughters though.

refusing to take her on expensive days out immediately after terrible behaviour

Actually, he refused to take her to a theme park because Bianca was vulnerable from COVID (although all that travelling via airports and in aeroplanes didn’t seem to concern Bianca that much).

He cancelled the first two court appointed sessions of contact with the kids, who he hadn’t seen in a year, to go on holiday with Bianca.

It’s repetition of this kind of behaviour that I have an issue with.

Just constant signalling to the children that Bianca is more important than they are.

And even though the kids just want to see him on his own, he is still pushing for them to see him with Bianca.

He needs to put them first. Seriously. Ella is crying out for his attention and she is getting nothing in return from him. She needs to know he loves her. And his actions don’t demonstrate that, at all.

wayyour · 09/06/2023 14:25

WheresSpring · 09/06/2023 13:58

Can I just point out that not everyone with MS is thoroughly disabled or weak? Yes, for many the condition is extremely debilitating however for many it is effectively managed and controlled. My mate in her late 40s, diagnosed with MS 20 years ago, ran the marathon this year and regularly competes at other sports. We obv don’t know the severity of IG’s girlfriend’s MS but to say she’s most likely weaker than a 13yo is reaching in the extreme!

Yes, I have a friend (very active) with MS who would be irritated by that assumption.

Looks like Bianca regularly hikes and is hoping to get back to running soon. Just checking as I didn't know.

It must be difficult for the girls having lost their school and home. Lots of change.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:27

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:14

Even if it was accidental, it’s not great is it. It has left a visible bruise on Ella. She is only 13. How does Bianca, who has never met the children before, get involved in a situation where she manages to catch Ella in the door?

No, it's not, but an accidental door slam resulting in a nudge in the arm is VERY different from what she described and would warrant a very different response.

She could have got involved in any number of ways depending on the nature of the conversation, maybe Ella was addressing her directly? Maybe she was throwing her things and she was herding her away? Who knows.

To most people, they are two very different things.

But I’m not sure how different they are to a 13 year old child who has been hit by the door and who already has negative feelings around the person who has accidentally hit them with the door.

Bianca shouldn’t have been involved at all. I don’t understand why she didn’t leave when things started to get out of hand. Or why she didn’t just allow Ioan to deal with his own children. I don’t understand why she didn’t just leave Ioan to have an overnight with his children on their own - which would have been the first time in what, over 2 years?

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:33

@Vivi0 I can't agree that it's odd that he wants a chaperone when it's just them. It makes total sense given her history, there's plenty to suggest she didn't only go that way because Bianca was there. There is history of her threatening that.

I wasn't referring to the theme park, I was referring to when she asked him to take her to a concert, and he replied that the last time he'd seen her she threatened to phone child protection services and then hacked his instagram, so he wouldn't take her and she needed to commit to therapy first. I don't think that was wrong of him, and I also don't think it was wrong to say he couldn't go somewhere as public as the theme park.

I won't defend him cancelling contact to go on holiday. That was shitty. Yes he needs to demonstrate he'll put her first.

I just don't agree that her behaviour is standard and not largely a reflection of the shit show she's witnessing from her mother.

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 14:38

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:11

Bear in mind that at the time, her father had just told her that he couldn’t afford to pay for her school anymore, and that she would have to leave her school, and her home, whilst he was simultaneously posting about a film he was producing for Bianca.

Thankfully, most parents understand that their children act out when hurt, and don’t label them for life based on things they did when they were 12 years old.

Is that it? Is that her big crime?

Show quote history

I don't think think that anyone has suggested that Ella has behaved anyway other than a lot of teen would behave given what she has witnessed in the home and since the separation. I am suggesting that Ioan is right to be cautious seeing as Ella has already accused him of untrue things. If she makes untrue allegations about Ioan and Bianca it will not only ruin their lives but hers also.

There seems a lack of care for Ella's mental state on this board. She needs help.

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:38

To most people, they are two very different things. But I’m not sure how different they are to a 13 year old child who has been hit by the door and who already has negative feelings around the person who has accidentally hit them with the door

Well, indeed, that is a big factor on why I don't think it's likely it actually went down how she described it.

Bianca shouldn’t have been involved at all. I don’t understand why she didn’t leave when things started to get out of hand. Or why she didn’t just allow Ioan to deal with his own children. I don’t understand why she didn’t just leave Ioan to have an overnight with his children on their own - which would have been the first time in what, over 2 years?

I agree she shouldn't have been involved. But like I said, it's hard to judge that without witnessing the conversation. I don't know her, perhaps she's an interfering so and so. Or perhaps Ella confronted her and she get dragged into it. It's hard to say.

In terms of why didn't she just leave for the night - well, she lives there. He's chosen to live with her, I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to leave.

MissFancyDay · 09/06/2023 14:46

You have to ask why the children are so against Bianca. People are allowed to separate and divorce. People are allowed to move on and have other relationships. Ioan might be getting custody at some point.

It's just not sustainable and reasonable that they never meet Bianca. Any why have they developed this hate, it's just all so sad.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:49

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:33

@Vivi0 I can't agree that it's odd that he wants a chaperone when it's just them. It makes total sense given her history, there's plenty to suggest she didn't only go that way because Bianca was there. There is history of her threatening that.

I wasn't referring to the theme park, I was referring to when she asked him to take her to a concert, and he replied that the last time he'd seen her she threatened to phone child protection services and then hacked his instagram, so he wouldn't take her and she needed to commit to therapy first. I don't think that was wrong of him, and I also don't think it was wrong to say he couldn't go somewhere as public as the theme park.

I won't defend him cancelling contact to go on holiday. That was shitty. Yes he needs to demonstrate he'll put her first.

I just don't agree that her behaviour is standard and not largely a reflection of the shit show she's witnessing from her mother.

I just don't agree that her behaviour is standard and not largely a reflection of the shit show she's witnessing from her mother.

I don’t think her behaviour is standard either, but I think it is understandable given the circumstances.

I do agree with you that her behaviour is being influenced by her mum. But I don’t think it’s all her mum.

I would say her behaviour is also indicative of abandonment issues, and that I can see why she would feel abandoned by Ioan. I don’t think he’s dealt with her in a very loving or understanding way either.

I have so much empathy for the girl. She is only 13 and must feel like she is on her own and that no one has her back. I can’t see that either parent is putting her or her needs before their own.

Vivi0 · 09/06/2023 14:54

aSofaNearYou · 09/06/2023 14:38

To most people, they are two very different things. But I’m not sure how different they are to a 13 year old child who has been hit by the door and who already has negative feelings around the person who has accidentally hit them with the door

Well, indeed, that is a big factor on why I don't think it's likely it actually went down how she described it.

Bianca shouldn’t have been involved at all. I don’t understand why she didn’t leave when things started to get out of hand. Or why she didn’t just allow Ioan to deal with his own children. I don’t understand why she didn’t just leave Ioan to have an overnight with his children on their own - which would have been the first time in what, over 2 years?

I agree she shouldn't have been involved. But like I said, it's hard to judge that without witnessing the conversation. I don't know her, perhaps she's an interfering so and so. Or perhaps Ella confronted her and she get dragged into it. It's hard to say.

In terms of why didn't she just leave for the night - well, she lives there. He's chosen to live with her, I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to leave.

In terms of why didn't she just leave for the night - well, she lives there. He's chosen to live with her, I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to leave.

I actually think it is reasonable to expect her to give him and his children some space so that he can have an overnight with them for the first time in years. That doesn’t mean that things should continue that way indefinitely, but he needs to take baby steps with the kids and I don’t know why she wouldn’t help facilitate that.