Ioan Gruffudd daughter in news

[HelenaBellena]

Again this is in the news with him getting a restraining order. I always thought Alice was nuts but I've been reading that Ioan isn't as nice as he makes out. And those silly staged pics of him and his girlfriend.

I think she has abandonment issues too. Ioan basically escaped with only the clothes on his back. He left them behind and they are too young to see that there was probably nothing else he could have done to save himself.

Hopefully one day when they are adults they will be able to see clearer. I think they are maybe lost to him for the present.

It really isn't that hard for an abusive parent to turn a child against another parent. Alice has used the girls, and especially Ella, as an extension of herself to continue the abuse given she has lost direct control of Ioan. I don't fault the girls at all. They are just doing what their mother is telling them to do and say and think. Ioan seems to involve therapists and lawyers in pretty much all his decisions and they had a reunification therapist specifically about reestablishing contact so I really doubt Bianca just popped up at the visit. Right now we have really no information about what happened other than through a child being used by an abuser to try to still get at their victim.

If Ioan is a deadbeat dad who is only applying for 50/50 custody for his public image (rather than wanting to parent his children), then Alice has totally played right into his hands by assisting their daughter with the restraining order. Now he can claim he did all he could but it’s out of his hands and he isn’t allowed to be a dad to his daughters.

It also means people will likely be more accepting of him remarrying and having more children too, maybe more than accepting but actually sympathetic to him starting a new family.

His daughter is saying that he has made her life toxic these past two years and that is the justification as to why she wants the restraining order. What troubles me about that is why Alice didn’t encourage her daughter to apply for the order long before now if this was so badly impacting her child (she didn’t have to wait for an incident of alleged violence to encourage her eldest to seek a restraining order since the application against Ioan contains no incidents of physical violence). If I thought my child was being harmed so severely through visitation, it wouldn’t take me 2 years to do something about it, that’s just ignoring alleged abuse of her daughter

A lot of these comments are really unfair on A… in this instance the daughter is copying her father’s behaviour, not her mother’s.

A is broken hearted so if she’s bombarding him with emails and texts about the house or schools or whatever, sure that may be annoying, but there are other ways he could deal with it: sitting down with her and talking it through. Or just ignoring it and deleting/blocking the messages. He chose to try and control the behaviour out of her through the very extreme process of a restraining order, which he then used to try and punish her later.

E is doing the same thing. I don’t necessarily think she hates her dad but I don’t think she wants to be in the middle of her parents, she’s not ready for Bianca, she gets deceived and ambushed. She just wants out of the situation. So she does the same thing - rather than sitting down with her dad and talking it through, or just putting up with it and ignoring comments she doesn’t like, she is trying to control him and the situation using legal means.

I really don't understand why women support and validate the abuse of others by women. Women abuse and kill and harm many. Taking the position that as long as it is a woman, it is perfectlyy acceptable to abuse or harm your children or a man really sets feminism back. Feminism is not about women being perfect and men being evil.

Saying you support abuse and harm as long as it is perpetrated by a woman is a very backwards position to hold and really sets back everyone, including women.

Have you quoted the wrong post?

And absolving women of responsiblity for their actions is infantilizing and demeaning. Women are capable, competent being who get to make decision - both good and bad. They are not lesser than men, they are also just as culpable and responsible for the harm they cause and they are capable of thinking and decision making and bad intentions related to the actions they perpetuate.

No, critical comments are not in any way unfair to Alice. She is an adult and she has chosen to act as she has. Adult woman are capable and competent beings who make their own choices. Your view that she is in the right and Ioan is in the wrong because of their sex is actually very anti-woman.

I’m very against killing puppies but let’s agree to disagree

I have no reason to agree to disagree. Your infantilization and validation of abuse by women harms everyone. As a woman, it is so unfortunate to still see views like yours perpetuated as it really harm women and girls. Women are not weak or useless, they do not lack competence or capability, they have agency and independence and they can have good or bad intentions and make good or bad decisions. Your binary of view that women = good and men = bad truly harms everyone and will contribute to harms caused to your daughters and mine. So no, I don't agree to disagree as you are quite simply wrong qnd your view harms women and girls. Women are not lesser beings nor are they inherently good or well intended. And men are not superior beings nor are they inherently bad or evily intended.

Who are you arguing with?

Absolutely this.

I am so surprised by the AE apologists on this thread. MN is usually so strong on the matter of DV. and AE is a DV abuser whatever way you want to spin it. He was even offered a FIVE YEAR exclusion order which is not handed out without exceptional evidence. Even worse - she has involved the kids every step of the way. The usual advice to victims of DV is grey rock - do not engage. Do everything through lawyers. Which is what he is doing. The only added complication is that for some reason the abuser has been allowed to continue manipulating the kids to circumvent the court order . This latest application to the courts as a prime example of horrendous manipulation of a vulnerable and disturbed child. Who does that ? The answer is abusers do.

AE is a scorned wife. Had she accepted his decision to leave when it happened instead of embarking on a catalogue of appalling behaviour, this child would not be behaving like this. Kids parents divorce all the time but most of us are adult enough to put our child's needs for a decent relationship with their father and new partner ahead of our own hurt feelings.

Or does leaving your wife now mitigate her DV behaviour ? Very strange mindset. DV is DV even when it's a woman doing it. There are no excuses.

This is absolute nonsense. Have you read the court documents. The abuse that he received when he tried to cooperate with Alice about anything. When he tried to talk to the children she would push in and abuse him. When he tried to pick them up for a visit she would scream abuse at him in the street. All witnessed, not just his word against hers.

Of course people get upset when they are left. And I think that people were very sympathetic at first, I certainly was. But it's been nearly THREE years now and she seems to be escalating. I think it's quite worrying for all concerned. I actually am worried for her and the children. And I and B.

Have you seen the messages she sent him? It went waaaaaay beyond practicalities like the house, school the children. She was calling him a loser, saying he was a rubbish actor, that she was going to destroy him, that his mum was a see you next Tuesday, that he was gay, that his siblings were weird and she was going to take his money so that his siblings would be homeless plus many more horrific things. She then wrote seven letters to the Director of the show he was filming with derogatory content. She also emailed his mum several times and when her email address was blocked she then used her daughter’s emails instead to basically tell his mum that her son was trash and it was Ioan’s mum’s fault because she was a Narc mother and to top it off, she said they would never see their grandchildren again.

Sorry but how are you minimising all that as ‘annoying’? Would you do any of that?

I can't believe some posters (although having read other posts saying they're from AE and her acolytes it makes sense).
So next time someone posts about a violent, abusive ex partner, and the judge has granted a restraining order, the response should be 'how awful, how could you?! You should meet them for a chat instead'?

Is the restraining order likely to be granted to Ella do we think? The hearing is later this month.

As an aside I had no idea there was a 20 year age gap between Ioan and Bianca! I thought it was just a few years.

It’s worrying that there are people like this, it’s not much different to the mentality of ‘she asked for it’ except this time it’s aimed at a man with people actually saying Ioan drove her to send the obscene messages she has posted/text and emailed. Was it Ioan’s fault she called her eldest daughter a tedious b itch too (on her birthday no less)?! Perhaps it’s also Ioan’s fault that she said the ‘babies’ had to stand up for her or they could eff off?!

As I’ve stated before, Ioan may be a horrible person (we don’t know) but we do know Alice definitely is and anyone excusing her abusing her children (and others besides Ioan) as ‘heartache’ need to be honest and admit to themselves that they don’t see an issue with her behaviour because they have or would behave like Alice

It is impossible to know. Although temporary restraning orders do not tell us much as often they are granted without much of a review of evidence. Temporary restraining orders are based only only the complainents report with a priority of safety based on what the complainent says. They provide a shor term order until the actual hearing when evidence is heard from both sides. Temporary orders err on the side of safety. The actual hearings when both sides present their case is when a restraining order is granted or not.

Alice did not just suddenly become abusive after Ioan left. He left an abusive partner and marriage. That is not a character flaw. And while I have no idea when he started seeing Bianca, it was not at all 3 year affair as stated by Alice, as third party accounts refute the affair and timeline reported by Alice.

Even if her reasons for requesting restraining order are due to conflicted feelings of loyalty, rather than any real fear, I still think it is beneficial to her to feel heard, feel that she had power to say no and to alleviate the stress of feeling conflicted. Later when she has processed that her voice was heard she can then have space to wonder "was that my voice". I hope that Ioan understands that teenagers often think very short te, they prioritise an easy life. But I say let them have that safety and then they can reflect ... in peace in their bedroom.

I have two teenagers and I have supported them through the realisation that their father has no emotional intelligence and can take account for nothing. It's important to hear their voices and give th space to assess and or reassess with no pressure.

I love how you’ve explained the bit about her examining if it was her voice or not when she’s older.

There is a bit more severity to this restraining order request though, despite no claims Ioan has ever physically hurt her, she has requested he attend a year long battery course (sounds like anger management of some sort). If Ioan hasn’t been violent towards her then this request goes beyond a teenager who wants to be heard, that borders on her demonstrating vindictive behaviour or need for revenge (potentially)

If the evidence against Alice was as shocking as her critics maintain, why has she still got custody of her children? But irrespective of your views of Alice, the fact of the matter is that Ioan has not prioritized his relationship with his daughters.

If he wanted to improve this situation, he would have respected their wishes not to see Bianca and focused on spending his allocated time with them alone.

He sounds very 'my way or the highway' to me

You are basing your view point on Alice's social media which is not an impartial source. Women do not just lose custody of their children in any family court.

Personally I do think he could have done more with regards to building the relationship with his children.

In respect of Alice and why she has custody, many unfit parents before her have retained custody so she wouldn’t be the first, he can’t just remove the children. He has asked for 50/50 custody because that’s what most lawyers recommend (knowing full well they can expose the failings of the other party in court and end up 💯 custody without having irritated the judge in advance by appearing not to compromise).

Speaking from experience, an abusive partner does not automatically mean they are an abusive parent just as someone divorces their spouse but not their children. In this case I do think Alice is abusive and I do feel she should have her children removed from her and have supervised visitation until she at least proves she has beaten her social media addiction and addiction to berating her children’s father in front of them.

I’ve just read more about the batterers intervention program which is for more than just physical violence (which I hadn’t realised) and I believe Alice may be court ordered to do this.

No idea. I've read the evidence. Those children should have been removed from her long ago. It's one of the worst cases of emotional abuse I've ever seen.