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Original poster

Bit worried about DD (18)

117 replies

ladydiggins · 30/05/2023 14:58

DD went out to her friend's 18th birthday celebrations last night. I think the group all had too much to drink - and DD had a falling out with one in particular. During the argument, DD pushed this other girl lightly. No harm done, no one was hurt or fell over or anything like that. Upshot is today, other lass is threatening to report DD to the police. DD is now worried sick of course - she's normally a reserved type of person and has never been in trouble for anything before - never mind anything like this. Any advice? Are we likely to get a visit from the police over this? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 30/05/2023 14:59

No, you won’t get a visit.

your DD needs to take this as a wake up call not to get drunk and pushy!

Beezknees · 30/05/2023 15:02

The police force are incredibly over stretched, I highly doubt they'd come out just for a push. I'm sure they're used to people getting a bit drunk and lairy. Try not to worry.

purplecorkheart · 30/05/2023 15:07

I don't think that you will get a visit from the Police, However hopefully this will be a wake up call for your daughter not to get too drunk or to argue and push drunk people.

Original poster
ladydiggins · 30/05/2023 15:16

I totally concur with all of you! And the way DD is feeling today might well be punishment enough. By the sounds of it, they all drank far too much and I suspect this won't be happening again anytime soon.

I will put some of it down to 'letting off steam' as they all in the middle of A-levels too.

OP posts:
TeaYarn · 30/05/2023 15:18

The police wouldn’t be interested in bunch of drunk squabbling 18 year olds. Even if one of them is a drama queen.

Original poster
ladydiggins · 30/05/2023 15:30

Meant to say the one DD pushed wasn't the birthday girl! Birthday girl is totally onside with DD and thinks its all a storm in a teacup. (I am annoyed with DD for doing this btw, not least because it so out of character for her.)

OP posts:
GCalltheway · 30/05/2023 15:50

Some flowers and a genuine apology should fix this op. Don’t make excuses for her, it’s not okay. Exams don’t give students free passes to be violent…

Original poster
ladydiggins · 30/05/2023 15:57

I agree - I meant them all getting so blotto was the 'letting off steam' bit, not DD pushing. They'd all been going out as a group for months before this, with nothing untoward ever happening.

Unfortunately DD has been blocked by the girl concerned and so can't even message an apology (not a half-hearted one either, as DD feels awful even though she maintains the girl was being really vile to the 18th birthday girl about something.)

I'm hoping when the dust settles a bit, DD can see the girl and make her apologies.

OP posts:
GCalltheway · 30/05/2023 16:02

It will blow over. They will recover. Focus on her a levels.

Original poster
ladydiggins · 01/06/2023 14:30

Me again! After a couple of days of peace, latest is that the girl has indeed reported DD to the police. I assume they will have to do something now.

Would anyone have any idea about what we may expect next please?

OP posts:
Swiftorhawk · 01/06/2023 14:35

Oh dear. How do you know It's been reported?

ditalini · 01/06/2023 14:36

So just to confirm:

  • contact was a shove
  • girl didn't fall over
  • girl wasn't injured
  • there was no damage to girl or her property (ie she didn't drop her phone or anything like that)

I'm not sure what crime has been committed here tbh.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/06/2023 14:38

Would anyone have any idea about what we may expect next please?

Probably the police to whom it was reported rolling their eyes at what drama queens teenage girls can be. With any luck they'll tell reporting friend to get a fucking grip and stop wasting police time.

Original poster
ladydiggins · 01/06/2023 14:39

DD was told earlier by another friend that it has been reported.

My thoughts too ditalini but I suppose even a shove constitutes some kind of assault.

Getting rather antsy and expecting the police at the door. What if they take her in and all that?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 01/06/2023 14:40

Tell DD not to admit anything or apologise if interviewed, just go with everyone was a bit drunk and I don’t really remember

BHRK · 01/06/2023 14:41

They won’t, don’t be dramatic and make her feel worse. Even If they turn up at the door your DD just tells them everyone was drunk, there was a bit of an argument and she pushed the girl lightly. The girl was not injured and didn’t fall over. End of.
it happens… and far, far worse fights that police turn a blind eye to!

TheaBrandt · 01/06/2023 14:43

Ask your local network discreetly for a good local criminal solicitor. I am a solicitor (different area) but have a local recommendation from my friend who does criminal work - a very helpful chap and have passed his details to several parents of teens and young people…

Swiftorhawk · 01/06/2023 14:43

ditalini · 01/06/2023 14:36

So just to confirm:

  • contact was a shove
  • girl didn't fall over
  • girl wasn't injured
  • there was no damage to girl or her property (ie she didn't drop her phone or anything like that)

I'm not sure what crime has been committed here tbh.

The shoving bit?

Linkstolondon · 01/06/2023 14:43

ditalini · 01/06/2023 14:36

So just to confirm:

  • contact was a shove
  • girl didn't fall over
  • girl wasn't injured
  • there was no damage to girl or her property (ie she didn't drop her phone or anything like that)

I'm not sure what crime has been committed here tbh.

A shove is a common assault so if the other girl wants to pursue it OP’s daughter may well be asked to go and have a voluntary interview. Hopefully that won’t happen as the Police have far more important things to be doing than dealing with two silly teenagers who are old enough to know better.

Foxesandsquirrels · 01/06/2023 14:44

I got robbed and nothing has happened, unless you live somewhere with very very low crime rates, I highly doubt anything will happen.

Foxesandsquirrels · 01/06/2023 14:47

However, let this be a lesson to your DD to never lay her hands on anyone. Prisons aren't filled with murderers but most often people who made a stupid decision. If her friend was to topple over due to the shove and hit her head, this could've ended really badly. I'm sure she knows this though. It also sounds like she's either got crap friends or anger issues.

TheaBrandt · 01/06/2023 14:48

You are only hearing her side of it though yes it’s common assault. It’s to be hoped they won’t take action (parents car randomly vandalised to the point it was written off and the police did nothing). Personally I would want specialised advice.

Original poster
ladydiggins · 01/06/2023 14:50

TheaBrandt · 01/06/2023 14:43

Ask your local network discreetly for a good local criminal solicitor. I am a solicitor (different area) but have a local recommendation from my friend who does criminal work - a very helpful chap and have passed his details to several parents of teens and young people…

Thanks, I'll put a few feelers out.

I'm trying to keep her calm and not panicking but I am actually worried myself.

A voluntary interview is what is concerning me - do they take fingerprints etc for that? She's been suffering from anxiety this last few months over her exams too.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 01/06/2023 14:51

I highly doubt she has reported it.

amylou8 · 01/06/2023 14:52

I doubt anything will happen. If your DDs version of events are correct then this is common assault. There is no power of arrest at this point. The absolute worst that could happen is that she'd be invited to the police station for an interview under caution, but you'd need it to land with a very bored police officer even for that to happen. In all likelihood she'll get a phone call, and informally told to wind her neck in, just so that they can file the complaint away.

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