Bit worried about DD (18)

[ladydiggins]

DD went out to her friend's 18th birthday celebrations last night. I think the group all had too much to drink - and DD had a falling out with one in particular. During the argument, DD pushed this other girl lightly. No harm done, no one was hurt or fell over or anything like that. Upshot is today, other lass is threatening to report DD to the police. DD is now worried sick of course - she's normally a reserved type of person and has never been in trouble for anything before - never mind anything like this. Any advice? Are we likely to get a visit from the police over this? Thanks in advance.

but also, OP, you need to talk to your DD about drinking, being safe and not escalating stupid arguments.

escalating to a shove is quite extreme for a generally quiet person. Did the other girl get all up in her face?

A shove?

The world is going bloody mad.

Just tell your DD to say they got drunk and she honestly can't remember much.

Be a bit different if she'd run at her from a distance and she'd gone flying smashing her head in the process.

100% this girl's parents are after some compensation.

You need to get the exact story out of your DD though. Where were they when it happened? Any cctv? Any ring door bells etc? Otherwise, its just her word against the other girls. With zero injury I seriously can't see where the police would go with this.

Talk about wasting police time.

If there are no witnesses and no sign of injury - then this girl really is very stupid.

Pretty sure if this was a DS we were taking about… the responses would be rather different

Could you clarify the “imaginary scenario” ?

It depends on what the other girls versions of events are. Given how drunk your DD was, maybe she doesn't remember the entirety of the incident or maybe the other girl has a different perception of what happened. Were there other witnesses (drunk as they were)?

Whatever you do, don’t accept a caution.

I highly doubt anything will come it considering there has been no damage / injury and especially as it seems like there are witnesses to confirm it was a drunken ROW between 2 people, not an assult.

But the police can be quite tricky over stuff like this with young people and will often say “we’Ll let you off with a caution” - young person agrees, not realising that a caution is something they will need to declare and will show up on DBS and what not, and not just a telling off.

If she does get a visit, don’t agree anything without legal representation!

CCTV footage, injuries, OP's daughter being restrained. You're just inventing scenarios. OP already said it happened at a private house, so there won't be CCTV, and that the girl has no injuries.

DD pushed this other girl lightly

Double handed shove? light nudge in the ribs?

So if someone reported your child

you wouldn’t consider the possibility that there were witnesses? Footage if in a club? And the girl showing some kind of bruise or similar?

Otherwise… well she is rather stupid

Ah I missed private house

poor birthday girl

I’m confused sorry

the incident happened at the girl’s house? Ie not the birthday girl?

Your daughter was obviously very close to the girl she pushed if she’d stayed the night at her house a number of times.

Did you ever meet the girl?

The only thing I can think of that a 'couple' in the group split up late last week and 'sides' have been taken there. Other than that - nothing/nada/rien.

why can’t your daughter tell you the reason behind the argument?

TELL your daughter to "I'm sorry I was drinking, I don't remember anything, over and over "

She MUST NOT comment
She MUST NOT apologise
She MUST NOT accept a caution

If this girl has reported assault. The police will need witnesses before it goes to the fiscal. One can be a witness against oneself - thus the no comment.

I doubt this will go further but if she makes any statement it may.

Get a lawyer.

I would love to agree with everyone else but my DD (13) was questioned by the police for pushing a fellow pupil. His mum wanted to press charges. Ii is a little shove and t is on CCTV. apparently if you touch another person it can be classsed as assault. The police woman tried to claim she slapped him too, she didn't, we watched the cctv a dozen times from different angles and were told that even if he flinched it may mean he thought she was going to and that was just as bad (also didn't see a flinch from either angle on the CCTV). its an absolute joke what people will waste public money on these days. The youth offending team came round and the report she had said pushed a fellow pupil in the restaurant. She said 'was that it'?

Is this from a crime drama or personal experience or your profession?

This. Litigation culture. I am absolutely positive that daughter has come home complaining to parents and parents have decided to get her to press charges so that they can bring a case.

also we were invited for an interview and it was weeks later so dont expect someone straight away. I say invited but they said if we said no she would be arrested! No finger prints or anything were taken and we had a legal representative arranged by them who was amazing and helped alot.

Some of these comments?! Talk about drama. It's like "how many buzz words relating to 'assault'" can I throw in??

It's no wonder some children grow up to be completely reliant on others for everything & unable to take any criticism when they're raised by people who make a huge event out of every single thing that happens!!!

What was the outcome?

Hopefully it’s all daft and will come to nothing. But you cannot categorically reassure op that this will definitely be the case. We (and op) only have her dds side of the story. No harm getting proper advice if the police do get in touch.

No comment it's her word against hers.

It was a party

there will be a lot of witnesses either way

I can’t understand how you don’t know the cause of the argument op

presumably you just ask your daughter?

or has she forgotten?