Bit worried about DD (18)

[ladydiggins]

DD went out to her friend's 18th birthday celebrations last night. I think the group all had too much to drink - and DD had a falling out with one in particular. During the argument, DD pushed this other girl lightly. No harm done, no one was hurt or fell over or anything like that. Upshot is today, other lass is threatening to report DD to the police. DD is now worried sick of course - she's normally a reserved type of person and has never been in trouble for anything before - never mind anything like this. Any advice? Are we likely to get a visit from the police over this? Thanks in advance.

DD is a gentle soul and has never been in trouble before anywhere and has no anger issues whatsoever. Just had far too much to drink that night, as they all did. She is very aware that any kind of shove or push is completely unacceptable.

I'd seek legal advice. Your daughter is an adult, she can be treated as an adult. Shoving is assault. The police may carry out telephone interviews first. If they feel that there is anything they need to investigate further they will call her in for a face-to-face interview. I would make sure that she knows her rights under such circumstances and asks for legal representation. I doubt whether it will go any further, but you don't know what the other girl has said (could be looking to sue for personal injury)

You need to sit down with your dd and tell her you need to be absolutely certain she is telling you the whole story. I'm not saying she isn't-but there is nothing worse than going in to bat for your child then discovering too late that there is more you don't know.

Why on earth is she friends with this girl if this is the case? I feel like you're missing a part of the story or your DD is friends with some assholes.

I highly doubt the police will be interested in a shove. The worst that will happen is they may phone her, explain a report has been made tell her not to do it again and that'll hd the end of it

Not missing anything out at all. Group of girls went out for an 18th. All drank too much. DD got cross with one girl - and they had a row and DD pushed her (and no one hurt or anything like that.)

Has she started rethinking her friendship with this girl in that case? What kind of friend reports you to the police for that?!

It’s worrying in who the hell is she hanging out with? I have teen girls only slightly younger and cannot imagine the scenario of a friend reporting a friend to the police for this. It’s odd in itself.

Why are they going out getting plastered 'in the middle of A levels'? At least save the drunken shenanigans until the exams are over.

I am totally gobsmacked myself. I do not know the girl myself - other than she goes to same 6th Form College as DD & is part of (what I thought) was a decent group of young people.

No previous issues/backstory between them either - DD has stayed at the girl's house a couple of times and I've picked her up from there - nice house/area etc etc. The only thing I can think of that a 'couple' in the group split up late last week and 'sides' have been taken there. Other than that - nothing/nada/rien.

They had a night off revising for their exams as someone was 18 and its half-term.

DD pushed this other girl lightly

likely “lightly” means something rather more than lightly.

So police have not contacted you? How did you find out?

I’d be more than a “bit worried”

not just the police involvement
presumably impacting revision
and
Your DD resorted to physical attack in an argument. “Lightly” doesn’t cover it OP. It’s the fact she even considered pushing someone in an argument

Op she pushed another female in a verbal argument!!!

There will likely be cctv footage

If the other girls mum had posted on here it wouldn't surprise me if posters cried "assault" "report".
Not condonimg violence but if police were called to every teenager who shoved another they would be busy.
Part of this is probably dramatisation after the event and using messages instead of actual face to face conversations. The fact that she has " blocked" your DD doesn't make it impossible to apologise. The best thing would probably have been to go to her house next day and apologise, is it too late?

All of that. Completely agree. No excuses. Only mitigating factor is that is totally out of character for DD. Not her usual way at all.

Unless the girl reporting is very stupid

then presumably she knows that she has a number of witnesses that will verify her account

bouncers get involved?

how did you dd get home?

They might still be a decent group of young people. Your DD is the one that pushed someone in a drunken row.

It may be out of character and she may be very sorry, but let's not push the blame onto the victim of the assault.

Hopefully it will all disappear but I'd be talking to your DD in your shoes. Making sure she knows how potentially serious this could be.

I'd be surprised if anything came of this. But. DD should say nothing about the incident - especially not in chats or messages. If the police come, see what happens.

They can't prosecute most rapists, but you never know. DD shouldn't accept a caution or admit anything without having spoken to a solicitor after a potential police visit.

No bouncers involved no. DD was staying at her 'best friend's house (whose 18th birthday it was.)

I only found all of this out when DD walked in and told me next morning.

This girl must also likely have some evidence of injury.

but certainly witnesses

so if your daughter is being absolutely honest with you, then she has little to worry about (although fact she pushed someone is bloody concerning. She already shaping up to be “that drunk” in the group)

but witnesses? Evidence of injury? Footage - you will find out soon enough

The girl didn’t push back

I wonder if your daughter had to be restrained

I’d be worried about the parents contacting the school (same school?)

Why are you making up imaginary scenarios in your head 😂 talk about overreacting.

Don't worry OP. I highly doubt the police will be that interested.