If people are as horrible in real life as they are on here I really feel sorry for their children, friends and family 😩

[ToddlerMama27]

There’s just so much bullying, nastiness and judgement

I don't think THAT is true, or anything to be proud of tbh.

Most relationships need a bit of compromise.

Well said.

Hating men/children is thrown around here a lot when it just isn't true. I've never seen multiple LTB without good reason, in many cases abusive and hating children? The last time I saw that accusation was because several people on a thread didn't agree with allowing a 1 year old to continue to scream in a restaurant, pull out soil from the plants and fling gravy and mash potatoes everywhere (all in the name of BLW) whilst the parents simply looked on and talked about how advanced he is.

I’m glad I’m not the only one, in fact I’m sure there are lots but I can feel absolutely awful when I’ve been attacked especially as in RL I’m an empathetic, caring, good friend and mother. I have friendships that have lasted decades without drama and adult children who actually like me. MN can make you feel like you’re the lowest of the low excuse for a human being.

You suspect wrongly @Hal9001 . Like you say, you don't know my situation.

I started typing out why MN gave bad advice, but decided I'm not going to rehash it here.

Be careful with the assumptions you make about others. The healthy relationship only became untenable because I gave too much weight to MN hivemind. I'm very happy in life but have regrets like we all do. And the assumption I'm a single parent...I am. (Or you know this as you stalked previous posts from weeks ago...) I certainly don't feel that being a single parent is bloody hard or a daily slog. X wasn't their dad, he was my first boyfriend 2 years after my long marriage ended and would chat to my kids when he came to collect me. No parenting of my kids at all as he was never that person you seem to have assumed he was.

It's these sorts of assumptions you've made in your post that can be unhelpful and projects what you think is what you've read onto someone else when it was never there in the post in the first place.

I hope that helps you reflect on your future posts.

I remember one thread where a poster made up a completely fabricated scenario of what the OP’s husband’s motives, thinking, behaviour was all about, just total projection possibly coloured by their own experience and when I pointed out that none of it was based on fact they lay in to me. Ouch.

It's the "I wouldn't put up with that" or "I would call out the cf behaviour", in a way that criticises the OP for being weak.

I always think, no you wouldn't. You're a coward giving someone a hard time giving "advice" after the horse has bolted. So often the OP wants help with what to do, or feelings. Not being told where they went wrong.

Ok.

I don't tend to give advice on the Relationships board.

I do think that you probably asked for advice because you weren't happy/satisfied and the advice you got clearly made sense at the time because you acted upon it. It can't have been a 'healthy relationship' if you were asking for advice in the Relationships board.

You may now have buyer's remorse.

Sorry for making assumptions, you gave no details other than you asked for advice, you followed the advice, retrospectively you think it was bad advice as you are not happy with the outcome.

In summation, I don't think MN killed your relationship.

(And I have absolutely not stalked your posts).

YANBU!

I think it’s the smarmy tone I hate the most - ganging up if someone put up a post but made a mistake or alluded to something - and they all miss the main message and hang on to the ‘mistake’.

You’re not wrong OP, it’s often said on MN how vile tattle life is but I find the posters on there so much more friendly and chatty than MN!

I’ve always assumed the most ‘assertive’ posters on here were shocking drips in real life, and they live this fake lifestyle online to make themselves feel better about who they really are.

Same goes for the ones who talk of their wealth, success, etc…

I know what you mean.

I nearly posted yesterday about my dog's interaction with a toddler in the park and looking for advice. However, aware that MN is full of dog haters, I knew I'd get piled on for even owning a dog.

I was on a thread a few months ago where I was told my family was dysfunctional and my sister was likely abused. My family weren't dysfunctional and my sister wasn't abused. She'd let us know, trust me, but she never has.

Yes I agree. Much more quick to shut down attacks as well.

Despite what some people choose to believe, lots of people are actually a bit mean and have unkind tendencies. Some show this in their relationships / interactions with others, some rein it in in real life but get to vent it on places like this

Agreed. People pussyfoot around too much in real life which leads to entitled fuckers and sensitive souls who cannot cope with the truth.

There’s no need to be a dick about it sure, but people should be told the truth.

Imagine coming to a women’s site and hearing misogynistic slurs like ‘bitches’ from someone who thinks they are kind.

Fuck off.
That’s the biggest load of bollocks ever.
Put your big girl pants on before you come on here.
HTH.
😉😁😁.

But why do you think you know 'the truth'?

Loads of bitches here but then we know loads of women make shite mothers.

Haha! - given the topic of the thread your post is quite ironic

I think it brings out the best in 'good' people and the very worst in complete bellends.

I think people are more honest on here thats all.

It was known as a nest of vipers over twelve years ago when i first joined, it's just that now, there are so many more members (and sadly, the quality of discourse has gone down the pan since then).

I actually don't agree OP i feel there are a handful of assholes and the rest are fine. Im only here a few months but when I see posts about someone feeling very low or going through something traumatising the kind words they get can really be powerful. I enjoy the bluntness of the answers and the alternative views on the social etiquette type threads. I am surprised at the views on parenting sometimes, standards are set very high! I remember years ago my DH said don't ever take advice from someone who gives advice on a parenting forum 😁 but sometimes it's helpful to see different perspectives. I particularly find support as I have 2 neurodiverse kids and it's quite lonely IRL when no one gets it.

Here's what I could have done if I took advice from MN:
Leave DH - always better single
Cut off your MIL / SIL over minor issue
DH is probably an abuser. Any man who is friendly to kids must be a groomer
All kids are ND
Don't go to any social event you can avoid
Don't put up with anything that doesn't suit you 100%

Think it depends where you're hanging out on here, AIBU is full of it but being completely honest the drama makes it what it is.

The support threads - completely different, posters making real differences to peoples lives and a sense of community.

MN has been the same for yonks, depends where you spend your time.